


how to get a girl in ten days (or lose her)

by chrvstenpress



Category: Women's Soccer RPF
Genre: F/F, PREATH - Freeform, dating based on bets, graphic designer tobin, writer christen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-06
Updated: 2020-05-18
Packaged: 2021-01-24 11:28:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 55,450
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21337504
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chrvstenpress/pseuds/chrvstenpress
Summary: Christen is tired of being the dating coach for her magazine's readers and wants to write about something she's passionate about. Tobin wants a spot on the new Broadway show graphic production design team. Simple bets to get what they want won't hurt anybody, right?
Relationships: Tobin Heath/Christen Press
Comments: 166
Kudos: 555





	1. ground zero

**Author's Note:**

> based on the prompt proposal from an anon on Tumblr:  
"I was watching how to lose a man in 10 days. One of my favorite movies... what about a preath one-shot, where each pretends to date the other because of a game and end up falling for each other."
> 
> except I made it multi-chapter :) 
> 
> as always, enjoy and feel free to leave me comments or asks on my Tumblr @ chrvstenpress.tumblr.com !  
Thanks for reading!

“I don’t know. I need more. I need something interesting.”

Christen’s eyebrows raise in a tilt as she stares at her journal of pitches and listens to her editor in chief, Kate, shoot down her ideas for the umpteenth time. 

“Our readers seem to be engaged in the flirty side of the magazine. Give me something, ehhh, flirty. Something _ fun _.”

“Life isn’t always _ flirty _ and _ fun _ . If our readers are already engaged in the magazine and we’re meant to be an authentic and candid source of reading, they’re bound to enjoy something _ authentic _.”

“Yes. I agree. Completely.” Kate pushes herself off the conference table and walks to the head of it, resting both of her hands on it by her fingertips, leaning forward so casually and yet so authoritatively. “But we have people giving them that already. They seem to love your relationship section every issue, Christen.”

“Because that’s all you assign me to write.” Christen doesn’t mean to snap. She really doesn’t. But she’s tired of writing things she isn’t happy writing and the last syllable she speaks is sharper than she intends. She sighs and closes her eyes for a second, forcing a smile on her face, though it isn’t too hard considering she is slightly amused by how many times she’s heard these words already. “Look, I’m sorry. I hope you know how much I value my job here and respect you, Kate, but when I got this job, I was over the moon. It’s not everyday that you get a job offer from the most popular women’s magazine in the world that has fostered the ever-growing and ever-changing women’s empowerment movement. I took the job thinking I would be writing about bigger and more important things than dating.”

“That’s exactly it. That’s it. Christen, don’t you see it?” Christen’s head stays locked still but her eyes follow Kate as she moves around the table again. “You think that dating isn’t important. But, Christen, dating is one of the most important components in how a woman views and respects herself.”

“Kate,” she sighs and puts her head in one of her hands.

“No, no, no. Christen, look. I want you to give me a pitch. Right now. Something about dating. Something about _ you _ dating. Challenge yourself. Go on some dates. Go meet someone. Do it this one time, for yourself, for me, for the magazine, and I’ll let you pick whatever you want next week’s assignment to be, yeah?” 

It’s something she can’t say no to. She’s given this opportunity to finally write whatever she wants to for the magazine she always dreamed of working for, but it’s conditional.

“You promise?”

“Anything you want, Christen.”

She pauses for a moment and looks around the table to see Alex, Julie, and Ali all giving her the same look. It’s something between worry and encouragement, but she ignores it for the time being.

“Okay.” She pauses to give herself a moment to think of a pitch. “How to fall in love in ten days.” 

She hears Alex quietly choke on a cough and sends the girl a glare. Kate’s smile raises at the corners of her mouth as her posture straightens. “Give me a plan of action.”

“Uhm,” she pauses once more. “I guess I’ll go out tonight, scout out a random person-”

“Male or female?” Kate intercedes.

“Whichever feels right, I guess.” It feels so wrong coming out of her mouth. So hasty and indifferent. It’s too schemey for her liking. 

“Good. Go on.”

“I mean, I’ll pick a person and make a move and then go from there. I do my best to make them fall in love with me in ten days, journal it all in the process, write about what’s working, what isn’t…”

“I love it.” Kate approves. “It’s yours.”

Christen’s eyes find Ali’s and they look concerned but Kate is speaking again before she can fully process what she just agreed to. 

“You’re all dismissed. Go get to work and make this the best issue we’ve published.”

“Holy crap, Christen. What the hell was that?” Ali is in her ear the moment Kate is out the door and they’re following suit. 

“You go, girl. You’ve been needing some action,” Alex encourages. Both Julie and Ali send her disapproving looks as Christen sends her one that’s peeved.

“Just saying,” she mutters and shrugs in an accused state. 

“Look, C, though I agree with Alex that maybe it’s time for you to put yourself out there, don’t do it if it’s not with the right intentions,” Julie reasons. 

Christen halts and the three of them smack into her back as they stand in the corner of the office space. “Look, I’m not serious about it,” she whispers harshly, “I’m gonna go out tonight, you three are coming with me, I’ll pick the first person to catch my eye, try to make them fall in love with me, and then end it. It’s not that serious.”

“C…” Ali trails. 

“Chris, when has dating ever _ not _ been serious for you?” Julie questions.

“Yeah, Chris. I mean, I want you to get some but I don’t want you to get hurt. _ Or _ hurt anyone.” Alex suddenly has something valuable to say.

“I’m not! It’s ten days! What’s the worst that can happen? It’s too short of a time to fall in love anyway. It won’t happen. I’m gonna do what I told Kate I would and in the end, I’ll say it just doesn’t work. She’ll give me a new assignment to do quickly before the deadline and that’s it. Either way, I did my assignment and I get to write about something I actually care about next. Once she sees that I’m more than just a dating coach for our readers and actually have something valuable to say, maybe she’ll let me move on from this.” 

“If you’re sure, C.” 

“I’m a big girl, Jules. I know what I’m doing.”

“We know.”

“I’ll meet you guys at the bar on 7th that we went to a few weeks ago. Be there at 9. I’m not doing this shit alone.”

///

“Tobin, dude, you need a chick.” Her team leader, Anthony, slaps a hand onto her shoulder.

“Ant, I’m chillin’.”

“T, everyone is gone already. Why are you still here? You need a chick to go home to.”

“No, Serv is still here. Not everyone is gone.” 

“I’m still here because you’re still here, Tobs,” Servando calls from his desk where he’s playing with a Rubik’s Cube. Tobin’s Rubik’s Cube. “Goddammit. How do you do this shit, T? I’ve been sitting here for an hour and can’t fucking figure it out.”

“It’s a pattern. Look it up.”

“Fuck no. I’m gonna figure this shit out on my own,” he huffs and goes back to trying. 

Tobin lets out a breathy chuckle while shaking her head and turning her head back to her computer. “I still have work to do. Shouldn’t you be glad I’m still here working?” 

“Yes, thank you. But leave,” Anthony demands bluntly.

“What?” She looks up over her computer screen to meet his gaze. 

“I said leave.”

“Ant- I’m not understanding-”

“It's a Friday night in New York City, Tobin. You should not be here. You should be out, meeting girls, hooking up, whatever.”

She scrunches her face up in distaste. “Not my thing. I don’t do hookups.”

“Oh, please. I’ve seen you flirt, T.”

“Aren’t you, like, my boss or some shit? What does dating have to do with work?”

Anthony sighs and walks up to her desk. He kicks her rolling chair away and saves her work before turning her computer off. “Hey! What the fuck, dude? I wasn’t done!”

“I can’t leave ‘til you leave.”

“That’s never stopped you from leaving before?” Tobin challenges.

His nostrils flare in frustration, but she knows he’s not really mad. “I’ll tell you what, T. If you find yourself a girl, I’ll let you on the new Broadway show team. I can convince Mark even though no one from our division is supposed to be hired on that squad.”

Tobin’s eyes shoot wide and she sits up in her chair. “You’re lying. That’s- that’s our biggest upcoming project. That’s the biggest thing we’ll have done.”

“If it’ll get you out of here and out there,” he points to the ground and then makes shoo-ing motions toward the door, “I’m not.”

She bites her lip and looks over at Servando who is now staring past the Rubik’s Cube at her and nodding furiously. “How long do I have?” 

“Meeting to finalize that team is in…” he drags the word out as she counts the days on his fingers, “ten days.”

“Ten?! That’s nothing!”

“I didn’t say you had to fall in love, Tobin. All I said was to go find someone.”

“Okay, but this is a big city. How am I supposed to find someone in ten days?!”

“Exactly, Tobin. It’s a big city with plenty of women. Now, go.”

Servando is pulling her up and out of the office by the collar of her shirt before she can even say anything else. 

///

“Oooh, what about that one?” Alex excitedly points at a guy at the bar watching some baseball game with his friends.

“Oh hell no. He looks like a meathead.”

“Okay, that one?” Julie points to a girl dressed in a tight black skirt that ends far too high on her thighs for Christen’s liking. 

“Really, J? Does that look like the type of person I’d ever go for?”

“You’re the one who said it doesn’t matter who it is.”

“Yeah, but I want to at least be somewhat attracted to them. I’ll probably have to kiss them or something at some point and I don’t want to be completely uncomfortable for ten days.”

“Over there. Gray shirt.” Ali cocks her head to the side in a quick motion and raises an eyebrow at the same pace. 

Christen looks over to the bar to see a girl with her body leaned lazily against the bar counter, angled to talk to one of her friends. She’s clutching a beer in her hand by the bottle’s neck and Christen can practically see the valleys her veins create on the face of her hand. She’s wearing an oversized dress shirt that Christen isn’t even sure is gray because the lighting in the bar is too low to help distinguish the color, but the way it almost hangs off one of her shoulders makes Christen drawn to her. Her hair is down in loose waves and pulled around her neck to fall over her shoulders; the one that is completely covered by her shirt to be specific. It leaves no room for imagination of what her collarbone looks like or just how defined it is.

Christen has to pull her eyes away before she gets too caught up. “Yeah. Yeah, I think that’s the one. Good one, Al.”

“She’s cute. Go talk to her,” Alex urges.

Christen nods and takes a sip of her drink before she puts it down on their high top table and wipes her wet hands from the condensation of the glass on her work pants. She runs a hand through her hair, flipping her natural curls over to one side for volume and takes a deep breath. “Here goes nothing.”

She saunters over to the bar as best she can and stops just behind the girl’s friend, leaning against the countertop on her forearms, trying to get the attention of the bartender. She allows her eyes to flick over to the woman for a few seconds, trying to make eye contact, but the woman makes no move to give her any attention. She doesn’t want to get caught blatantly staring, so she keeps trying to get the bartender’s attention. He pays no mind, heading over to the far end of the bar. Christen sighs and leans her chin onto her fists, picking one of the 6 random sports games to watch whilst she waits. Before Christen realizes it, the friend is gone and the bartender is suddenly helping the woman whose attention she is trying to earn and name she has yet to learn. She’s about to sigh in aggravation of someone else being helped before her, but then the woman looks over at her and says, “What’s your order?”

“Oh, uh, I’m sorry?”

The woman chuckles and repeats herself. “What’s your order? I saw you trying to get his attention and I’m trying to help you out here.”

“I can summon a bartender on my own, thank you very much.” 

“Summon? Wow, formal word for a bar.”

“Excuse me?” Christen is sort of thrown off .

She laughs again. “It was a joke. What’s your order?”

Christen is about to tell her to fuck off and insist she can order her own drink, but then she remembers what she’s doing at the bar in the first place. 

“Cosmo.” It makes the woman laugh before she leans her head sideways toward the bartender and repeats the order. 

“So, is your name Carrie?” The woman asks when she turns her head back around. Her body steps a little closer to Christen’s and she’s doing that thing again where she leans sideways into the bar and her shirt falls slightly off her shoulder with her weight.

“What?”

“Oh, come on. Sex and the City?”

Christen’s eyes widen in realization and she can’t help the embarrassed laugh that escapes her lips. “Oh, right. Of course. No, not Carrie. Christen.”

“Christen.” The woman smiles. 

“And you are?”

“Ah,” she bows her head for a moment, “I think I relate to Samantha most but if Mr. Big gets Carrie, I choose him.” She smirks.

Christen’s cheeks redden and she looks over to the bartender to see what the wait is. “I, uh- I meant your name.”

“I know,” the woman winks. “It’s Tobin.”

“Tobin.”

“That’s me.”

“Got that.”

The bartender places a Cosmopolitan and another beer in front of them just then. 

“Cheers,” Tobin holds her beer up, tilting it forward slightly. 

“To?” Christen asks and raises her glass slowly.

“Sex In This City.” Tobin winks again and her voice is a little too sultry for Christen not to know what she means. 

“_And The _ city,” Christen corrects as she clinks her glass to Tobin’s bottle. 

“I know what I said.” She smirks before she takes a swig of her beer. She lets out a satisfied ‘ah’ after she swallows and smacks her lips against her teeth.

“So, Christen,” she says her name again and it’s crisp off her tongue, “what are you doing in a bar on a Friday night?”

“Are women not allowed to go to bars after work on Fridays?”

“Of course they are. I’m here, aren’t I?”

“Guess so.”

“I guess you just don’t strike me as the bar type.”

“Oh, really?” Christen almost scoffs. “Should I take offense to that?” She tilts her head to the side and squints her eyes. She’s about to reconsider her choice of who to make a move on until-

“None. Just too pretty to be in a bar like this, is all.”

Christen fails to find words in response to that. She takes a sip of her drink instead.

“So you’re here after work, then. What do you do?” Tobin is talking again.

Christen considers lying for a moment. Then she realizes nothing has ever piqued her interest like writing has and she wouldn’t be able to go on about a fake profession for ten days if she wanted to.

“I’m a writer.”

“Oh, cool! What kind of stuff do you write?” 

“Oh, I work for a magazine, actually. _ The Feminine Essence _. I don’t know if you’ve heard of it or if you even read magazines. A lot of people don’t these days.”

“Are you kidding?” Tobin laughs. “You guys are one of the biggest magazines in the world. Of course I’ve heard of it. That’s like asking me if I know _Time_ _Magazine_.” Christen chuckles at the true statement. They really were that big of a magazine. “That’s awesome,” Tobin smiles widely. 

“Yeah,” Christen offers a polite smile back. “It’s a dream.” _ Sometimes _. “What do you do?” 

“I’m a graphic designer.” 

Christen’s eyebrows raise then furrow. “What are you doing in New York? Shouldn’t you be in like LA or something? Like in the movie world and all that?”

“The Big Apple has everything, Christen,” Tobin smiles. “And there are different types of graphic design. It’s not all TV and film animation.”

“Sorry,” Christen apologizes quickly, “that was pretty ignorant of me.” 

“It’s no worry,” Tobin smiles politely. “I wouldn’t know the first thing about writing if I tried. Can’t even spell right sometimes.”

“Ooh, that might be a deal breaker,” Christen laughs and scrunches her nose up playfully.

“There’s a deal to break?” Tobin’s eyebrow raises and she lifts her beer to her lips again. She waits a moment before actually sipping it, though, letting a smirk spread behind the rim of the bottle as she stares at Christen. 

_ Flirt back, Christen. Do _ ** _something_ ** _ . _

“I haven’t decided yet.” _ Amazing. Wow. Truly your best, Christen. _

“Aw, bummer,” Tobin pouts. “When will you know?” She steps in a little closer again.

Christen eyes her curiously for a few moments, not able to hide the threatening grin on her lips. It makes Tobin smile back and giggle softly. Christen actually finds it a cute giggle. “Not sure,” she sips her drink, “Try a little harder. Might speed the process up a little.”

“Oof,” Tobin laughs and brings her hand fisted around her beer up over her heart, scrunching her face a little. “Ouch. I’m really that bad at flirting then, huh?”

“No, not too bad. Just teasing.” Christen sends her own wink Tobin’s way and Tobin bites her lip softly at it. 

_ She can’t wink_, Tobin thinks and laughs through her nose. 

“What are you laughing at?” Christen questions her almost accusingly. 

“Nothing.” Tobin smiles softly and looks up to one of the TVs.

“So what kind of graphic design _ do _ you do then?” Christen asks, trying to gain her attention back. Tobin realizes it right away, so she turns her body so her back is against the bar and she’s facing away from the screens.

“‘Do you do’… so eloquent.”

“I’m off the clock. I don’t need big words and fancy sentences right now.”

“_Please_. You said you could _ summon _ a bartender on your own.”

“I thought we were talking about you?” 

“I think I’d rather talk about you.”

Now Christen bites her lip. These rapid fire responses are keeping her on her toes and she’s failing at some of them. If one thing is for certain, Christen hates failure. “You didn’t answer my question.”

“Sure I did. I said I’d rather talk about you.” Tobin pushes herself off the bar and faces Christen, nodding her head to the back of the room that seems to be a little less loud and a little less crowded. “Wanna go sit over there? My legs are getting a little tired and I’m sure we’re wasting space at the counter.”

“Yeah, sure.”

Tobin sticks her unoccupied hand out a little in front of her. Christen takes a quick look at it, then looks up at Tobin without moving. Tobin quirks an eyebrow, then sticks her hand out a little further. “It’s a little crowded in here. Don’t wanna lose you.” 

“I’m sure I’ll be fine.” _ Goddamnit, Christen. Work with her. _“But we wouldn’t wanna risk it, would we?”

Tobin smiles and mumbles, “Definitely not.” Christen grabs her hand, then turns to grab her drink and lets Tobin lead them through the crowd of raucous people. 

“So, graphic design,” Christen says as soon as they plop themselves onto a couch. Tobin sits with one leg underneath her, one arm laid across the back of the couch, hand right next to Christen’s shoulder, the other still clutching her beer and rested against her knee. Christen sits normally, legs crossed politely, but her body is slightly angled toward Tobin’s. 

“Right,” she sips her beer that is now turning warm. “I do production design.”

“What does that mean?” Christen asks shyly. “Sorry, I obviously know nothing about the graphic design world.”

“Like I said, no worries.” Tobin smiles and casually leans her thumb onto Christen’s shoulder, rubbing it back and forth a few times and leaving it there. Christen has to stop her head from turning to look at their point of contact. “Basically it means I work with the visuals in artistic sets. Concerts, theater, award shows, blah blah, blah.”

_ A future theater project, I hope, _ Tobin thinks.

“Oh, that’s so cool!” Christen excitedly turns her body to face Tobin a little more, resulting in her shoulder pressing further into the couch and Tobin’s hand falling onto it completely. Neither woman makes any effort to move. “What kind of stuff have you done so far?”

“I was actually lucky enough to be on the Meadows Music and Arts Festival team this last summer.”

“What?!” Christen’s eyes widen. “That’s, like, one of New York’s biggest music festivals!”

“Uh, yeah. I guess so.” It’s the first time Tobin goes shy that night and Christen would be kidding herself if she said she didn’t find it endearing.

“That’s amazing, Tobin.” Her own unoccupied hand finds its way to Tobin’s thigh, right over the rip in her black jeans. Tobin does look down at it, pausing for a moment before saying anything. She looks back up and offers a close lipped smile. “Thanks.”

“Yeah, of course,” Christen smiles back and retracts her hand. 

“You have really pretty hair.” Tobin lifts the hand on Christen’s shoulder to twist a strand of curls around her finger. “It suits you.” She’s back to being flirty and confident again and Christen is having such a hard time keeping up. She tells herself it’s because she hasn’t done this in a while, trying to avoid any other explanation that could potentially hold more meaning.

“Oh, uhm, thanks. It’s a hassle a lot of the time. Having curly hair is so hard to style and I woke up kinda late today so I just left it. I don’t usually have it like this. I try to straighten it or curl it because it’s so wild like this.” She’s rambling. 

“I like wild.” 

_ Wow, she’s good at this. _“Lucky you, then.”

“Lucky me.” Tobin smiles. A silence lingers between them for a moment as they both search each other’s faces for something, though neither of them knows exactly what they’re looking for. “So you never answered me earlier. What’s a pretty girl like you doing in a bar on a Friday night? I’m sure you have somewhere better to be. Someone waiting for you at home.” 

_ Typical _, Christen thinks and shakes her head a bit. “No, no one waiting for me…” she trails off, trying to think of something to answer. “Just girl’s night.”

“Oh, are you here with your friends?”

“Yeah. They’re over somewhere by the bar still.”

“I’m sorry. I wouldn’t have taken you away from them if I had known. I can let you get back to girl’s night-”

“Tobin, you’re fine,” Christen chuckles and puts her hand back on Tobin’s thigh. “I would have actually said no to your invitation over here if I had somewhere else to be.”

Tobin’s worried demeanor fades and a genuine smile spreads across her lips. “But it’s _ girl’s night _ . You can’t mess with _ girl’s night _, Chris.”

“Why does that sound mocking and not at all sorry?” 

“Because I’m secretly happy to take you away for myself.” She smiles, sticking her beer in her lap where it won’t fall and covers Christen’s hand with her own, turning it over to hold it.

“That’s greedy,” Christen knocks her knee that is crossed over her other into Tobin’s playfully.

“Oops.”

“So what else do you like, Tobin? Other than Sex and the City and graphic design.”

“Pretty girls in bars.” The wide grin on Tobin’s face makes Christen laugh. Actually, full on, squinted eyes, wide smile, laugh. The weird part is, there’s no real reason to.

“Is that right? I’m sure there are many of those.” Christen’s eyebrows raise as she plays along.

“That is, indeed, correct, Christen. However, I’m only interested in one at the moment.”

“_Wooow_,” Christen laughs. “So proper.”

“Gotta keep up with the ‘summons’, y’know.” She shrugs cooly, abandoning the proper talk. “Hafta impress you somehow.”

“Impress me? What for?”

“Hey, Chris,” And of course. Of. Fucking. Course. Julie walks up. “We’re heading out. Gotta stop Alex’s drunk ass from leaving with someone before she regrets it in the morning. You coming or you gonna stay?”

“Oh, uhm,” she looks over at Tobin who gives her absolutely no help in deciding. She’s dropped her hand now, replacing it with her beer, sloshing it around in circles, and her other hand is on the back of the couch again, off her shoulder. Christen moves her own hand that is still on Tobin’s lap back to her own as casually as she can. “I guess it is getting kind of late. Give me a minute and I’ll be right out?” 

“Yeah, of course. We’ll be outside.” Julie says and sends Tobin a polite smile before walking away.

“Guess this is bye then,” Christen says softly but makes no move to get up.

“Guess so.” Tobin waits a moment but makes the move for them, standing up and offering a hand in assistance to Christen.

“It was nice talking to you Tobin,” she says and rests a hand on Tobin’s bicep softly before she drags it down her arm and lets go. 

“Yeah. Yeah, you too. Goodnight, Christen.”

“Goodnight.”

_ Get her number, Tobin. _

“Uh, hey, Chris?” Tobin catches her hand before she’s even completely turned around. Christen turns her head, looking down at their hands before looking up with slightly raised eyebrows.

“Sorry, uh,” she drops her hand, “you just never let me know what you decided on.”

Christen turns her body around completely again and then shifts on her feet, bending a knee and tilting her head. “What I decided on?” 

“Yeah, if there’s a deal to break.”

Christen chuckles and bows her head, taking Tobin’s hand back into her own. “Do you want there to be a deal to break?”

“I want a deal but I hope neither one of us breaks it.” She squeezes her hand, stepping in a bit closer, and then brings her other hand up to push some of Christen’s curls behind her ear. She trails the back of her index finger along Christen’s jaw and whispers, “Can I see you again?” Christen almost doesn’t hear it, but she can definitely read it off her lips. 

_ Oh, fuck. I’m staring at her lips, _Christen thinks and snaps her eyes up to Tobin’s eyes. 

_ Oh, fuck. Her eyes this up close are heavenly, _Tobin thinks as she runs her finger further down Christen’s face, just below her chin. She takes a chance and hooks her thumb into the dip of it, brushing it back and forth, just passing over the line of her plump bottom lip. 

_ Fuck, don’t kiss me. Don’t kiss me. Don’t kiss me. _Christen thinks.

“I don’t know, it depends on what the deal is.”

“How about a date?” Tobin offers.

Christen bites her lip, teeth barely grazing the skin of Tobin’s thumb and makes them both blush. “How about two deals?”

“What’s number two?” 

“Phone numbers. How else are you supposed to find me again?” 

The smirk on Christen’s lips makes Tobin’s hand drop from her chin and her eyes flutter closed as she laughs. “Yeah. Yeah, of course.” She reaches to pull her phone out from the back pocket of her jeans and hands it to Christen to put her number in. 

When Christen hands the phone back and doesn’t do anything but smile, Tobin says, “I thought you said phone numbers?” She emphasizes the plural form of the word. “You don’t want mine?” 

“You can text me and then I’ll have yours.” Christen winks and it makes Tobin grin like a fool. 

“Okay. I can do that.” She puts a hand on Christen’s hip and leans in close. “Goodnight, Christen.” The kiss she places dangerously close to the corner of Christen’s mouth makes her gasp quietly, but Tobin hears it anyway due to their proximity. 

“Night, Tobin,” she smiles shyly once Tobin’s head is completely pulled back. She begins to walk away before she stops again. She turns on her heel and says, “Oh, and Tobin?” Tobin looks up. “Only certain people get to call me Chris.” She gives her one last wink while taking a few steps backwards before spinning around and leaving completely.

“Dude, I just met the coolest girl, you’ll never believe-” Servando walks up beside her, slapping his hands on her shoulder and back, but then follows her eyes to Christen’s figure walking out the door. “Oh, how did that go?”

“That,” she thrusts her now warm beer into his chest, making him take hold of it, “was my first step in getting that spot on the new Broadway show team.”

///

When Christen walks out the doors of the bar, she immediately sees Alex jumping up and down as Ali holds onto her wrist, trying to guide her into the cab. Christen laughs to herself. There were two drunk Alex’s: super happy drunk Alex and super whiny drunk Alex when someone tampered with happy drunk Alex. 

“Alexandra Morgan, get in the damn cab.” 

“But the _ guy _, Ali! He’s still in there!” 

“He has your number thanks to me, now get in.”

_ God bless Alexandra Krieger’s heart. _

“That was longer than a minute, Chris.” Julie has a smirk on her lips and Christen’s eyelids actually twitch from how hard she rolls her eyes.

“Shut up, Julie.”

“Gray shirt was getting pretty handsy there, don’t ya think?”

“What?” Ali’s head snaps to them as she shields Alex’s head from hitting the roof of the cab. 

“Her name is Tobin,” Christen says at the same time as Ali questions them.

“Ah, I see. _ Tobin _ was getting pretty handsy there, don’t ya think?”

“She was just flirting. Isn’t that a good thing?”

“Handsy how? What does _ handsy _ mean here?” Ali is desperately trying to get information on the situation as she climbs into the passenger’s seat of the cab and spits out the closest of their addresses to the driver. 

“I don’t know, C. You seemed to be liking it.”

“Handsy _ how _?” Ali turns to face them in the backseat.

“Her arm was across the back of the couch with her hand on C’s shoulder and the other was full on holding one of Christen’s.”

Ali gasps and her eyes widen. 

“Oooh, Chris! You _ are _ getting some,” Alex cheers but then glares at Ali in the front seat. “At least _ someone _ is.”

Ali rolls her eyes and turns back to Christen, awaiting some sort of comment from the woman.

“I was doing my job. What was I supposed to do? Act disgusted and turn her away?”

“Wait, so,” Ali frowns, “You don’t like her?”

“I don’t even know her.”

“But did you _ like _ her?” Julie presses.

“I don’t know her!”

“Cut the crap, Christen. Just tell us if you were attracted to her or not.”

“Yeah, Christen! Cut the crap!” Alex yells and then starts laughing at herself.

“I mean, she wasn’t _ not _ attractive...”

Ali and Julie squeal. “That means yes! Oh my god, who would’ve thought all it would take was an article?” Ali half screams, half laughs.

“Oh,_ come on _. I told you I wanted to be at least a little attracted to them if I was gonna do this!”

“Okay, okay. In all seriousness,” Julie straightens her face, “would you bang her?”

Ali howls from the passenger seat. 

“Driver you can just drop me off here. I’ll walk home.” Christen cranes her neck to look past Julie and raises her voice slightly.

“Don’t you dare!” Ali points at him.

“Look, either I drive you and you calm the fuck down or get the fuck out,” The driver snaps. 

“Yeah, whatever,” Ali waves him off. “This is New York, you’re used to worse than us.”

Christen rolls her eyes and leans back into her seat, crossing her arms. 

“Aww, little Chrissy is mad at us because she knows we’re right,” Julie annoyingly fake coos and goes to pinch one of Christen’s cheeks. Christen swats her hand away and Julie doges it, leaning into Alex while laughing. 

“Did you get her number?” Ali asks.

“Gave her mine.”

“Christen!” Alex screams.

“Alex!” Christen says back at a much more appropriate volume.

“You gave a girl your number!”

“That I did.”

“But you gave a girl your _ number_!”

“Okay? And?”

“_Annnd _, you never give anyone your number!”

“That’s true, Chris. You always find a way around giving your number out.” Julie adds in agreement from the middle seat. 

“Okay, how many times do I have to say that this was my job and I needed to? How else were we supposed to plan something to do next?”

“Uh, you just give her a time and place to meet you, duh,” Alex explains and shakes her head slowly like it was obvious. Julie and Ali are trying their hardest not to laugh at the realization that strikes Christen’s face at Alex’s drunk advice.

“I… didn’t think of that,” she admits sheepishly.

“Silly Chrissy,” Alex giggles. 

“Yeah, _ silly Chrissy_.” Julie smirks. 

“_Shut. up_. _ Julie_.”


	2. it's a deal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> christen gets teased by the girls. servando plays hypeman. they go on a date.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> helloooo! I'm so happy y'all seem to be liking this!!! I always love reading your comments and asks, so please, leave me more!
> 
> as always, enjoy and feel free to leave me comments or asks on my Tumblr @ chrvstenpress.tumblr.com !  
Thanks for reading!

“My _ lord_, I’m so tired.” Ali flops onto their couch, bouncing slightly and kicking her legs up. “Chris, take my shoes off for me.”

Christen looks over from where she’s plugging in her phone to charge at the kitchen counter to see her holding a single leg up in the air. “You are more than capable of doing it yourself, Ali.” 

“Yeah, but I’m tired,” she whines. “_And _ I went with you tonight _ and _ took care of Alex as a consequence. You owe me one. Probably two.”

Christen rolls her eyes as she places her phone down and walks over to the couch. “You are such a drama queen. How do I put up with you?” She tugs one of Ali’s shoes off, stepping back from the excessive force, before moving onto the other once Ali holds it up.

“‘Cause you love me and I’m the best roommate ever and I do shit for you so you have to do shit for me.”

“I guess,” Christen playfully concedes. “Scooch.” She shoves Alis’s legs further into the couch to make room for herself. 

As soon as Christen has taken her own shoes off and flopped onto the couch just as dramatically, they both take one of each other’s feet to massage. 

“So…” Ali begins and Christen has her eye roll on queue, “Tobin.”

“What about her?” She sighs and presses into the arch of Ali’s foot extra hard.

“Okay, _ OW_,” Ali pulls her legs back slightly before pressing into the arch of Christen’s foot the same, eliciting the same reaction. “_Anyway_, Tobin.”

“Yup, you said that already.” She raises an eyebrow and gives a slow nod. “Come on, Al, don’t make this worse on me. I don’t wanna do this as it is.”

“I didn’t even say anything!”

“You didn’t have to,” Christen groans and reaches for the remote on the coffee table. 

“All I was going to say was that she was cute.”

Christen turns her head and gives Ali an exasperated look that says ‘really?’

“What?” Ali holds her hands up defensively and laughs. “I was!”

“Okay.”

“Okay.”

They’re quiet for a moment as Christen scrolls through Netflix to find something to watch. 

“So…”

“Oh my god, Ali. What?”

“Geez, C! Who put a stick up your ass?”

“You guys!”

“Wow, okay." Ali laughs incredulously. "Sorry we were being supportive.”

Christen squeezes her eyes shut. “I’m sorry. I know you guys were just being there for me like I asked you to. I’m just tired and I’m over Kate giving me these stupid dating sections. I don’t want to be doing this. Can we just not talk about it?”

“Okay,” Ali agrees gently and goes back to rubbing Christen’s foot, a little softer this time.

“I really am sorry,” Christen says after a moment. “You know how grateful I am for you, JJ, and Lex.”

“I know,” Ali responds simply. Christen had just finished asking if they could not talk and now she’s talking, so Ali decided to let her lead the conversation. 

“Okay.”

“Okay.”

Christen puts on some baking show and another moment passes before she’s saying-

“I just- I don’t know, maybe I should tell Kate just to give me a different assignment. I’ll just keep doing the dating section.”

“You know she’s gonna want you to keep this one. Did you see her face when you pitched it?”

“I know.” Christen sighs. There’s a buzz from the kitchen counter and both of their heads turn to look in the direction. Ali slowly turns her head slowly back to Christen with a single raised eyebrow. “I’ll check it later,” Christen mutters as casually as she can. 

“But what if it’s Julie or Alex?” 

“Then they’ll text you if they really need something.”

The phone buzzes again.

“But what if it’s an emergency?” Ali prods.

“Then they would have called.”

“_Christen_,” she groans.

“Yes, Ali?”

“Go check it.”

“I’m okay.”

“Can I check it for you then?” 

“NO!”

Ali’s eyebrows raise and eyes widen at the exclamation. She can’t help the laugh that escapes her lips in surprise. “Oh. Okay. Something to hide, Chris?”

“No,” she replies quickly. “Nothing to hide. It’s probably just J or Alex like you said.”

“So you don’t mind if I go check it then?”

“NO!” Christen grabs Ali’s ankle tightly as she moves to get up from the couch.

“Christen, just go check it!” She laughs and settles back into the couch, scratching Christen’s foot in a way she knows tickles the girl. 

Christen yelps and jumps up from the couch quickly. “I hate you!” She yells out as she walks away.

“You love me!” 

**[Unknown]:** _Hey. This is Tobin. I’m hoping this is Christen and the pretty girl I met at the bar didn’t give me a fake number._

**[Unknown]:** _If this isn’t Christen, the pretty girl from the bar, I’m sorry for both you and me right now._

Christen can’t help but chuckle at the messages. Ali does her best to be discreet as she stares at the girl smiling at her phone from over the back of the couch, but it’s no use. Christen is well aware of the set of eyes on her and bites her lip to try to contain her grin. That, too, is no use. It only makes Ali ask, “Who was it?”

“Huh?” Christen looks up. “Oh, uh, no one. Just my sister.”

“Oh really? Which one?”

“Channing.”

“Channing makes you laugh and bite your lip like that?” She raises an eyebrow. “I’m gonna be honest here, I’m a little concerned, C.”

Their eyes meet. Christen looks shyly guilty. Ali is sporting a smirk that makes Christen all the more nervous. 

“Who was it?”

“No one.”

“_Christen_.”

“It’s Tobin.”

Ali smiles gently from the couch, sitting up a little and biting her tongue to stop herself from squealing.

“Just ask, Ali.”

“Ask what?”

“_Ali_.”

“What did she say?”

Christen groans and unplugs her phone from the charger harshly, stomping over to the couch like a pouty child. She drops her phone onto Ali’s lap as she plops down once more. “I really do hate you.”

“Yeah, sure, whatever.” Ali takes the phone and begins reading. 

“Pretty girl, huh?”

Christen groans again shoves her face into her hands. 

“Okay, okay. I’m sorry.” Ali pulls one of Christen’s arms away from her face and hands the phone back. “She’s funny.”

“Yeah.”

“You’re blushing.”

“Am not,” Christen defends.

“Are too.”

“Ugh.”

It makes Ali laugh and squeeze her wrist. “Chris! You haven’t been like this in forever!”

“It’s just because I’m out of it. I don’t go around flirting all the time nor do I _ get _ flirted with all the time.”

Ali ignores that. “What are you gonna say?”

“I don’t know!”

“Oh my god, Chris,” she laughs again. “Just confirm that it’s you and say hi.”

“Okay, yeah.”

She types out, “This is she. Hi.” before literally facepalming. Ali peers over to the screen and bellows in laughter. 

“Christen! You can’t answer it like it’s an email or a conference call or something!”

“I know that!”

“Delete it!”

“I am!” 

The girls are both in a fit of giggles and it reminds Christen how fun it is to do this. To laugh and freak out with friends over flirting and dating. 

“Do you want me to go? Will you be more comfortable that way?” Ali asks gently once they’ve settled and Christen still isn’t typing.

“I don’t know. Maybe? I can go to my room, you don’t have to-”

“It’s fine. I’m tired anyway. Good luck, babes. Tell me what happens in the morning.”

“Okay, yeah. Night, Ali.”

Ali leaves to her bedroom and Christen is left to herself to respond without pressure of anyone reading their conversation. 

**[Christen]** : _ It seems that you’re in luck once again. Hi, Tobin. _

The little three bubbles at the bottom left corner of her screen bounce right away and she bites at a hangnail on her ring finger. 

**[Tobin]** : _ Ah! Lucky me, again. Hi Carrie! _

Christen smiles at the name and goes to type again.

**[Christen]:** _It’s Christen._

**[Tobin]:** _That’s right. Christen, the pretty girl from the bar._

She doesn’t know how to respond to that. She considers running into Ali’s room for help, but decides against it almost immediately. Before she even has a single idea of what to say, Tobin has sent another message. 

**[Tobin]:** _So, Christen, the pretty girl from the bar. What are your plans tomorrow afternoon?_

**[Christen]:** _Tomorrow already? Someone’s eager._

**[Tobin]:** _What? What are you talking about?_

Christen panics and types out a response quickly. 

**[Christen]:** _Oh, I’m sorry. I thought that was your way of asking me on that date you were talking about earlier. Sorry._

She watches her phone in anticipation of a response but locks it and drops it onto her lap once she’s realized Tobin is taking a while to respond now.

**[Tobin]:** _I was just kidding. I am eager and that was my way of asking you out on that date I was talking about earlier._

**[Tobin]:** _ Lol sorry. _

**[Tobin]:** _Also, you said sorry twice. Nervous? ;)_

_ God, she’s too good at this _, Christen thinks.

**[Christen]:** _You’re a jerk. _

**[Tobin]: ** _ Aw, I’m sorry. Can I make it up with a date tomorrow? _

**[Christen]:** _After that, I want to say no. But I guess that was part of the deal, wasn’t it? Or should I say deals?_

**[Tobin]:** _It was. And now that you’ve got my number/you’re end of the deal, I would like mine._

Christen bites her lip as her thumbs hover over her keyboard.

**[Christen]:** _I assume that would only be fair. _

**[Tobin]:** _No assumptions. It is only fair. _

**[Christen]:** _What did you have in mind?_

**[Tobin]:** _That’s supposed to be a secret._

Christen rolls her eyes, a smile still lingering on her lips.

**[Christen]:** _Really? A secret?_

**[Tobin]:** _Yes, really. You’re obligated to follow through on the deal though, so it doesn’t matter if I tell you what it is or not._

**[Christen]:** _Obligated by whom? And what if I’m busy tomorrow?_

**[Tobin]:** _Obligated by the Deal Rules._

**[Tobin]:** _ Are you? _

Christen almost wants to mess with her in retaliation and say she is busy, but decides against it. She’s too nervous and will mess up.

**[Christen]:** _No._

**[Tobin]:** _Great._

**[Tobin]:** _I’ll pick you up at 1?_

**[Christen]: ** _ How do I know you aren’t a stalker that’s just trying to get my address? _

**[Tobin]:** _Do I seem like the type?_

**[Tobin]:** _Also, you gave me your number. If I was a stalker, I’d have enough info with just that to do something._

**[Christen]:** _That’s something only a stalker would know. _

**[Tobin]:** _lol_

**[Tobin]: ** _ You can come to mine then if it makes you feel better. _

She attaches her address in the message. 

**[Christen]:** _How do you know I’m not a stalker that’s just trying to get your address? You just give it out like that?_

**[Tobin]:** _You don’t seem like the type. See you at 1 tomorrow, Christen._

**[Tobin]:** _Sweet dreams, pretty girl from the bar._

Christen doesn’t reply after that. Instead, she goes to sleep overwhelmed by the other woman’s charm.

When she wakes, it’s 8:30 am and Alex and Julie are jumping on her bed as Ali watches from the doorway with her arms crossed.

“Where’s your phone?!?” Alex screams as she shoves Christen’s sheets around.

“What the fuck?” Christen groans through a rasp as she lifts her head off her pillow. 

“I tried to tell them not to, C,” Ali adds from the doorway of her bedroom.

“Mornin’, Chrissy!” Julie smiles. “Where is your phone?” She questions with mischievous sweetness. 

Alex is still ripping her bed apart looking for the device as Julie sits leaning onto Christen’s body. 

“What do you want my phone for? And why are you here so damn early?” 

“We heard that a certain someone messaged last night,” Alex admits breathlessly as she stops searching.

“Oh hell no, you are not getting my phone,” Christen shakes her head and lays her head back down on her pillow, pulling her covers further up her body.

“_Christen_,” Alex and Julie whine at the same time.

“No. Leave me alone.”

“_Chriiiis_,” Alex continues.

“Aren’t you hungover, Lex? How are you even awake right now?”

“Nope. Took Advil.” 

“Great,” Christen mutters.

“You’re phone please,” Julie requests with a smile.

“No.”

“Ugh,” Alex groans, “at least tell us what she said.”

“Actually,” Ali gets into the bed too, “I would also like to know. You shooed me away last night.”

“Excuse me,” Christen scoffs, “you offered to leave.”

“True, but I still wanna know.”

“Scoot over,” Julie nudges Christen to make room for herself under the sheets too. 

“Oh my god. It’s like,” Christen pulls her phone out from under her pillows, “8 in the morning. Let me sleep.”

“It’s almost 9, shush,” Ali dismisses her.

“Oh look, it’s your phone! Now what did she say?” Julie says as she moves herself under the covers.

“_Oh my god._” She goes silent after her groan for a moment, closing her eyes and waiting to see if they’ll leave her alone. They don’t. They lay patiently beside her. “Ugh, I really, really dislike you guys. Get out of my bed and go wait in the kitchen. I need coffee.”

The three girls comically scramble out of her bed and run out of her room to wait for her. She’s slow to get herself out of bed, letting her eyes close for a moment longer before she lugs herself up and to the restroom to brush her teeth and fix her hair. When she walks into the kitchen, there’s a cup of coffee waiting for her already and all three of the girls are sat expecting her. Alex even has her chin on her fists and a childish smile on her face.

“You guys are ridiculous.” Christen laughs and shakes her head, going to grab her mug and take a sip. As soon as she swallows and licks her lips of the coffee residue left there, she says, “We’re going out later.”

Julie chokes on the coffee that she’s sipping on. Ali’s eyes widen in shock. Alex stays in her position, but her smile grows wider. 

“That’s what you decide to start with?” Julie asks as she holds her chest.

“That’s what you wanted to know.”

“_No_, we wanted to know what she said,” Ali points out.

Christen’s cheek blush slightly as she takes another sip of coffee to excuse herself from having to speak.

“So I guess what she said was ‘go out on a date with me’ then?” Julie questions.

“Uhm, kinda?”

“What does ‘kinda’ mean? Did you ask her?” Alex sits up fully now.

“No! No, she asked me. I guess I mean ‘kinda’ because she had already asked me at the bar.”

The word ‘what’ comes out of three mouths in exclamation at the same time. 

“And you said yes at the bar?” Ali asks in shock.

“Oh, god. I didn’t wanna have to tell you guys everything. Here we go.”

“Yes, please. Go on. Tell us everything, Christen.” Julie sits back and crosses her arms, satisfied with where this conversation is headed.

“She just asked if she could see me again. Which is why I gave her my number.”

“You said everything,” Alex reminds her.

Christen takes a long swig of coffee before huffing and beginning her retelling of the previous night’s events. She tells them about the Sex and the City reference Tobin made early on (save for the Sex In The City toast), the way she couldn’t lie about her job and had to tell her the truth, how cool Tobin’s job seemed to be, the flirty banter she was having a hard time keeping up with, and so on. 

“I mean, she seemed into and that’s a step in and of itself.”

“So what are you guys doing today then?” Julie questions, genuinely excited for her friend.

“I’m not sure, actually. She says it’s a secret.”

“Ahh, so she’s a romantic.” Alex grins and gets up from her seat, walking to Christen and Ali’s fridge to help herself.

“How is that romantic?” Christen asks in confusion, following Alex with her eyes.

“If she wasn’t a romantic on some sort of level, she would have just said what you two were doing today. Her not telling you means she wants it to be special and she hopes it’ll be enough for you to like it.”

The space between Christen’s eyebrows creases as she ponders over Alex’s statement for a moment.

If that’s true, it’s been a while since someone has cared enough to do something like that. Most people just asked for a simple dinner date or coffee date. Or sex. It was admittedly nice to have someone show that kind of interest for a change, but she had to stay focused. She gave in too much at the bar. Sure, she had to secure some kind of next meeting with Tobin, but she enjoyed it far too much. She needs to set boundaries for herself. She can’t flirt too much, because, in reality, she’s not really trying to get the girl to fall in love with her. She just needs enough to take to Kate to say it doesn’t work. She can’t enjoy it either. Enjoying leads to… _ things _. It leads to feelings and feelings need to be far, far away from whatever it is she’s about to do with Tobin. 

“How do I make it seem like I’m interested but also not give her enough to actually fall in love with me but also not scare her away?” She looks up to see Alex eating some toast and strawberries, Julie on her phone, and Ali watching her intently.

“That’s a loaded question,” Ali states. It’s like she knows. Ali always knows.

“Yeah, well this is a loaded assignment.”

“It’s not like you asked for it, though, y’know…” Julie says sarcastically.

“Okay, woah. Let’s not go there right now, yeah? I don’t wanna be agitated today.”

“Sure thang, sweets.” Julie locks her phone and sets it on the table with a sigh.

“What do you mean by all that?” Alex questions. “Isn’t the task to fall in love in 10 days?”

“I told you guys, I’m not actually trying to get her to fall in love with me. I just need a few days to be able to tell Kate it’s not gonna happen that fast. Even if I _ was _ trying, it wouldn’t work. Ten days isn’t enough.”

“Why are you so worried then?” 

_ Fuck _. She didn’t think about that.

“I’m not sure,” she answers softly. “It’s a sticky situation, I guess.”

“But you said it yourself: 10 days isn’t enough to fall in love. So what’s the issue? Why do you need to be worried about her actually falling in love with you?”

“I- I don’t know. I guess maybe it’s not enough to fall in love but if I’m gonna be seeing her for 10 days, that doesn’t mean feelings might not come up.” Her throat is going dry and her voice cracks a few times on random words. 

“Christen,” Ali calls gently. Christen’s eyes meet hers and it’s everything Christen knows her friend to be. It’s caring and careful and concerned and supportive all at once. “It’s not too late to back out. You can text Tobin and tell her you don’t want to meet up and email Kate for a new assignment.”

“No,” she replies quickly, shaking her head. She wants to do this. She _ needs _ to do this. “I want my pick next issue. I have to do this.”

The girls all want to tell her she doesn’t. She can have other options if she seeks them. But they all know Christen and they know nothing will change her mind about this. 

“Okay,” Ali concedes gently.

“Uhm, do you guys want something to eat? I’m gonna make myself an omelet and potatoes.” Christen changes the subject. 

“Oh, heck yeah. I’m _ starving _.” Julie grabs at her stomach.

The girls leave after breakfast and helping Christen choose an outfit. They had urged her to text Tobin for hints so she could plan her outfit accordingly, but she didn’t want to have to put up with the girls trying to sneak peeks at their conversation. She decides that she should get some work done with the time she has before she needs to leave, but she can’t seem to get anything out. 

She sits with her laptop on the couch, typing a sentence, then deleting it only to start a new one that sounds almost exactly the same. It shouldn’t be this hard. All she needs to do is give a write up of what happened the night before. All she needs to say is that she met Tobin at a bar, Tobin ordered her a drink, they had a conversation, exchanged numbers, and then said goodnight.

But she can’t. It doesn’t seem that simple and she can’t type it like it is.

///

“Yo, T. What’s up?” Servando’s voice fills Tobin’s phone speaker.

“Nothing much. Just, y’know, getting ready for a date.” He can’t see it, but Servando can just hear a smirk spreading on Tobin’s face.

“What!? The girl from last night?” Servando exclaims.

“Uh huh,” she drawls out.

“That was fast.”

“Yeah.” Her smugness disappears and her voice goes soft. “Only got ten days.” Servando doesn’t say anything, almost like he can sense she has something more to say. “And she’s interesting. I don’t know, we didn’t talk much but there’s just something different about her vibe, dude.”

“She was hot.”

“Oh, don’t be such a boy,” she laughs. “I told you guys I’m not looking for that. And even though I’m doing this for the job, I’m just gonna let things happen. See where things go I guess.” 

“That’s cool, Tobs. Nothing wrong with that. I’m not surprised it happened so fast. Got a little beer in ya and you were off to the races to find yourself a girl. It’s the Heath Charm. I’m sure you would’ve been fine even without the beer.”

She chuckles and her head dips slightly in embarrassment. “Yeah, I guess.” Truth be told, she was completely sober. She stopped drinking her beer in favor of paying attention to Christen. .

“Don’t go all insecure on me. You’re a charmer and not in a bad way, Tobin. You’ve never had bad intentions.”

When she doesn’t reply, Servando takes the hint that she may need some time for herself before the date, despite their call being short, and says, “Listen, T, I’m gonna let you go but it’s all gonna be good, alright? You obviously already seem to like her so go charm her away and get yourself a girl!” 

Tobin laughs and shakes her head at his hypeman behavior. “Alright man. Thanks for talking.”

“No problem, Tobs. I’ll be your wingman anytime.”

“Yeah, alright,” she laughs again before saying goodbye and hanging up.

She blows a long breath out of her mouth with puffed cheeks. “Alright, Tobin. You got this.” 

///

Christen arrives at her building 30 minutes later at 1:00 exactly. She rings the buzzer and Tobin lets her in, telling her she just needs to get her shoes on but she’ll be ready by the time she’s there.

Christen knocks on her door and wipes her hands on her jeans as she waits.

_ Do I hug her? Wave? _

She doesn’t have time to decide before Tobin is opening the door as she shoves one of her shoes on, jumping around for balance. She stomps her foot on the ground as soon as her foot slips into her sneaker. “Got it.” She grins and stands in place. Neither of them is moving.

“Thought you said you’d be ready?” Christen jokes and points lazily at Tobin’s foot.

“I am!” She opens her arms up and does a little ungraceful turn. “See?” She grins again after looking down at herself and then back up to Christen.

“I see,” she nods, giving the woman a once over. It’s not fair that someone can look so put together in such a lazy outfit. She’s literally in jeans, a baggy t-shirt, sneakers, and a snapback and Christen envies how someone could just seemingly throw anything on and still look like _ that _.

“Oh, uh, hi by the way,” Tobin nervously laughs and steps in to give Christen a hug.

Christen, caught slightly off guard for having been literally checking Tobin out, was only able to return the hug just before Tobin was about to pull away.

“Just let me grab my keys and phone and we can go. You can come in.” She pushes the door open wider and nudges her head in signal for Christen to follow her. Christen obliges, but stays just in front of the door, not wanting to intrude.

“Okay,” Tobin smiles, “We can go now.”

“And where is it that we’re going exactly?” 

“Aw, c’mon Chris. I said it was a secret!” Tobin gives a mischievous grin as she holds the door open for Christen and the woman walks past her.

“Yeah, but now it’s the actual date so you can tell me.” She decides not to tease Tobin over the fact that she called her ‘Chris’ again. She thinks Tobin probably even did it on purpose. (She did.)

“I think you can wait a little longer.” Tobin winks as they make their way down the hall. 

They make their way down the street, into a subway station, and onto the subway. Tobin keeps a hand on the small of Christen’s back most of the time. Christen tries to ignore the warmth it leaves every time it pulls away.

“Alright, I think you might have guessed it by now,” Tobin says with a shy smile as they walk up the stairs of the subway station onto the street. 

Christen’s face contracts in confusion for a moment before her mouth goes into an ‘o’ shape and Tobin laughs at her reaction. “Central Park?”

“Yeah!” Tobin says excitedly. “I was thinking we could just walk around and buy some of that probably really gross food from the stands that actually tastes really good and just chill.”

_ The big secret was Central Park? The largest tourist attraction in the entire city? How cliché. _Christen thinks.

“Cool,” she offers a tight lipped smile. 

Tobin obviously doesn’t pick up on her slight change in attitude because she sticks a hand out to her, almost just like the night before at the bar, and says, “Don’t wanna lose you when we cross the street.” 

Christen wordlessly takes her hand, allowing her to guide them through the sea of people passing by them. When Christen instinctually squeezes her hand when someone walking by shoves her a little too hard, Tobin turns to her and resolves to wrapping an arm around her shoulders instead. The way Tobin protectively pulls her in makes Christen’s face nestle into her shoulder and she has no other option but to wrap her own arm around Tobin’s waist if she doesn’t want her arm trapped awkwardly between them. 

“Thanks,” she says softly as they make it out of the foot traffic jam. She goes to pull away completely, but instead, Tobin squeezes her shoulder, saying, “No problem,” and trails her hand down Christen’s arm as she pulls away from the embrace. She catches Christen’s hand in her own, interlocking their fingers for the first time as if she had done it many times before, and Christen can’t quite bring herself to hate it. 

“Alright, are we hungry now or later?” Tobin bumps her shoulder against Christen’s.

“I’m good for now but if you’re hungry, I have no issue eating now.”

“How very polite of you,” Tobin teases and rubs her thumb on Christen’s hand. 

Christen rolls her eyes and looks around the park to hide the way it makes her smile. She hadn’t actually seen much of Central Park. She visited a few times when she had first moved to the city, but always ended up going back to the same parts. She enjoyed it, but just hated the amount of people that made it feel like an amusement park more than anything. 

“You been here before?” It’s like she reads minds.

Christen turns her head to look at Tobin and opens her mouth to respond but Tobin beats her to it. 

“Sorry, that was a dumb question. You live in New York, of course you’ve been here before.”

Christen laughs and says, “Yeah, I’ve been here before.” The look of disappointment on Tobin’s face makes Christen nearly melt so she continues, “But I’ve only been a few times and I went back to the same places every time so I didn’t see much of it.”

Tobin lifts her eyes to look at her from the way her head still hangs slightly. “Why would you do that? This place is huge.” 

“I know,” Christen drawls dramatically and widens her eyes as she looks around them. “I guess I just really liked the places I went the first times so I wanted to go back.”

“But there are so many places here to see!”

“Take me then!” Christen challenges with a squeeze on her hand.

“Okay,” Tobin smiles. “Wait, where did you go the last times? Because we are definitely not going there this time.”

“I think it was the Conservatory Water place and then some bridge that I can’t remember the name of.”

“Oh my god, do you know how many bridges there are here?” Tobin questions in a feigned exasperated state.

“No,” She admits sheepishly. “I assume many?”

It makes Tobin laugh in slight disbelief. “That’s right. Probably _ more _ than many.”

“Sorry,” Christen winces. 

“It’s cool. Guess we’ll just have to take our chances and hopefully we end up at one that isn’t the one you went to.” She smiles and sends Christen a wink as they make a turn on a path. “I have a plan so I hope you have your walking shoes on.” Tobin takes the opportunity to give Christen her own once over. Christen does her best not to get flustered over the way Tobin’s eyes take their time to meet her own again.

“Oh! This is that place you always see online! Like the Central Park staple!” Christen can’t stop herself from tugging on Tobin’s hand a bit and pointing like an excited child. Tobin finds it adorable.

“Literary Walk?”

“Yeah, that!” Christen reaches into the pocket of her jacket, fishing her phone out and fumbling around with it to get her camera open. Tobin lets go of her hand so she can use both for her phone, saying, “Go ‘head. Take your pictures,” with a gentle smile when Christen turns around at the loss of contact.

She lets Christen take pictures, watching her from behind and laughing silently at the way the girl is being a complete tourist even though she lives in the city.

When she’s finished, they don’t go back to holding hands. Instead they walk close by each other, brushing arms every so often and making Tobin want to grab her hand all over again.

They stop to look at statues every once in a while, quizzing Christen on her knowledge of literary figures. (She doesn’t do as well as she’d have liked and argues that she’s a journalist, not a fictional writer or poet.)

They pass by Bethesda fountain before Tobin leads them to Bethesda Terrace where Christen is left speechless by the beauty of the art and architecture. She stands in the middle of the walkway, head up to the ceiling, hands dangling at her sides, jaw slacked. Tobin watches her for a few moments, marveled by the way the woman is so enraptured that she twirls slowly in place to look at the art from different angles. 

Tobin comes up behind her, resting a gentle hand on her hip and starling the woman.

“Sorry,” she laughs and steps back slightly, capturing Christen’s hand in her own again as she does. “Probably shouldn’t have done that in a city like this.”

Christen chuckles back as she squeezes Tobin’s hand in her own. “It’s okay. I just got so caught up in all this, I forgot where I was. I’m sorry, I’m probably being a bad date.” She scrunches her nose quickly and Tobin can’t help but laugh at how cute it is. 

“Not at all,” she whispers, bringing her free hand up to Christen’s hair again just like she did at the bar. This time, though, she cups Christen’s cheek in her hand after she pushes her hair behind her ear. She strokes her thumb along the shape of Christen’s cheekbone a few times before she starts to lean in. 

Christen almost panics until she sees Tobin’s head lean to the side and the woman is placing a feather-light kiss on her cheek instead of her lips. She lingers for a few seconds, letting her hands fall around Christen’s waist to hug her and whispering, “Thanks for coming with me today.”

Christen places her hands on Tobin’s upper arms, pulling back from Tobin’s face and offering a sweet closed-lipped smile as a response.

They decide they’re hungry then and Tobin convinces Christen to eat a hot dog with her from a random stand. Christen gives her a skeptical look, but ultimately decides to go with it. 

“Okay,” Christen giggles through a mouthful of hot dog, “I hate to admit it, but this is actually good.”

“I told you!” Tobin exclaims as she chews her own bite. She swallows harshly before saying, “See? You just have to trust me on some things.”

“Oh yeah?”

“_Yeah_.”

“Like what?” 

Their playful banter is back and they both find comfort in it as they carry on walking and eating.

“Like the fact that New York City hot dogs are actually good. And the fact that this bridge we’re about to go to is the prettiest one you’ll see in this entire park.”

“Oh really?” Christen laughs before taking another bite of her hot dog.

“Uh huh.” Her mouth is full with her last bite and she crumples up the paper into a ball.

Christen does the same with her own paper and takes Tobin’s ball from her. She walks away quickly to a nearby trash can and comes back sticking a hand out in front of her. “Well then show me.”

Tobin’s grin is wide as she accepts Christen’s hand and leads them in the right direction. 

“This is one is Bow Bridge. I don’t know if this is the one you saw, and if it is, oops, but I think you would have remembered it if it actually was.”

“Guess I’ll just have to trust ya.” Christen winks and giggles.

“Guess so,” Tobin whispers as she tears her eyes from Christen’s captivating green ones to watch where they’re going.

“Oh my gosh,” Christen whispers in awe as they approach the bridge. “Definitely not the one I saw,” she laughs.

“Really? Whew, okay. I was actually kinda nervous that it would be the one you had already been to,” Tobin chuckles shyly. 

“Nervous?” Christen’s eyebrows furrow. “Why were you nervous?”

“I, ah, I don’t know. I just want this to be special, I guess.”

_ There it is. Goddamn Alex for being right. _

“Well you’re doing a pretty good job so far, Tobin.” She shoots the woman a sweet smile, one that can be seen in her eyes, and squeezes her hand. It pulls Tobin the slightest bit closer so she can clasp her other hand over their already conjoined ones. 

Tobin can’t help but do anything but smile back and look to the ground again. 

They make their way onto the bridge and stand against the edge of it, staring out to the water, row boats, and skyline in silence for a bit. Christen, of course, takes her pictures, still in awe of just how beautiful this park is when you look past the touristic aspect of it.

Once she puts her phone away, Tobin leans onto the edge by her elbow, facing Christen. 

“I’m really glad we met last night,” she mentions softly. 

Christen turns her head to the left from her position where she leans with both elbows on the edge of the bridge. “Yeah,” she smiles as genuinely as she can, “Me too.” There’s some sort of unsettling feeling in her that comes every time Tobin says something sweet like that. She does what she can to ignore it and just be in the moment.

Then Tobin’s hand is grabbing hers again. It’s like she can’t go too long without it. She swings them between their bodies idly. “I know it may seem weird that I want this to be special because we don’t even know each other, and I can’t really explain it well, but all I know is that you seem like the type of person that deserves special. So if I’m lucky enough to be the person to give that to you, I’ll do my best to do that.”

Christen’s heart does that flutter thing that she hasn’t felt in oh so long. She doesn’t know how to respond. She doesn’t know how someone she met a damn bar can be this tooth-achingly sweet and charming, albeit a little dramatically.

Then Tobin’s hand is letting go of hers and nudging her hip a little. It moves her just enough so her back is pressed against the edge of the bridge instead of her elbows. Her hands are on Tobin’s upper arms again, this time holding on a little tighter out of surprise. Tobin’s body is leaning into Christen’s so casually, Christen can barely register how they ended up like this. 

“I’m not gonna kiss you, you don’t have to look so scared,” Tobin chuckles with the slightest hint of a sad smile. “Just wanted to be a little closer. Is this okay?” 

Christen feels guilty for the way Tobin was able to read her nerves so easily. She doesn’t mean to make it so obvious. She doesn’t want the woman to think she doesn’t want this, so she runs her hands down Tobin’s arms until they land at her wrists. She wraps her fingers around them purposefully and Tobin’s fingers give slight release on Christen’s hips in fear that, no, it’s wasn’t okay. But then Christen’s hands tug her arms around her back completely before running back up them to rest on her shoulders. 

She offers a slight nod, giving Tobin permission to hold her completely. “It’s okay,” she smiles and squeezes Tobin’s shoulders gently. Tobin takes that as her cue to smile back and lock her arms around Christen’s body, resting just on the arch of her back in that way that makes them stand so close, Christen has to lean back slightly so they can actually see each other clearly.

“Thanks,” Tobin whispers as she lets her eyes study Christen’s face this close, a lopsided smile gracing her lips. For the first time, she’s able to _ actually _ see her in full light. The first thing she notices is the way a few freckles sprinkle along the length of her nose. She didn’t recognize them before, not having been granted access this close and not having studied her long enough to appreciate them. They’re barely there under Christen’s makeup, but they’re _ there _ and Tobin has to question why she’s so captivated by a few small freckles. 

The next thing she notices is her eyes. She’s not sure how it’s not the first thing she noticed. Well, it _ is _ the first thing she noticed the night before at the bar, but not now. She wants to kick herself for it. Eyes like that deserve to be noticed before anything else. They’re just so different. They’re green. A little bit gray, but still green. It’s a wonder how her eyes can be such a muted tone and still carry such vibrance. Tobin realizes that it wasn’t until now that she was able to see the color green like _ that _.

Christen doesn’t quite know what to do with herself under such careful scrutiny, so she studies Tobin the same. She thinks her favorite thing about her may be her pout. The way her lips naturally pucker and she knows it, so she tries to constrict them. The next is just how soft her eyes are. Tobin gives off such a cool girl vibe, but everything in those eyes is so delicate. 

They don’t realize they’re literally staring into each other’s eyes until something clicks and both of them go red in the cheeks. They still don’t tear their eyes from each other’s, though. They stay blushy and shy, but they don’t look away. 

“Permission to kiss your cheek?” Tobin whispers as she flicks her eyes back and forth between Christen’s.

It makes Christen laugh almost a bit too loudly. “You’ve already kissed my cheek without asking. What makes you ask now?”

Tobin smiles wide and shrugs, moving Christen’s hands with her shoulders. “I dunno. Maybe I just realized you deserve to be asked first.”

Christen lets out a breathy chuckle as she says, “Okay,” in slight incredulity. “Got ourselves a charmer here, do we?” She pats Tobin’s shoulder playfully. 

“Maybe.” Tobin smirks. 

“How ‘bout I do you one better?” Christen asks, causing Tobin to raise an eyebrow. She leans in slowly, making Tobin’s breath catch, but it’s only to place her own lips on Tobin’s cheek. 

Tobin’s eyes flit closed as the soft lips come in contact with her skin. It’s so innocent, and maybe not what she was expecting when Christen moved in, but it feels so nice.

She decides she’ll take whatever Christen gives.

“Yeah, definitely better,” Tobin says breathily and Christen can’t help the giggle that escapes her at it. “But I still want my own,” she grins goofily and presses a more intentional kiss to Christen’s cheek, not bothering to take her time leaning in like with the others.

She notices the way one of Christen’s hands moves from her shoulder to the side of her neck. The way her thumb, index, and middle fingers barely make their way into the baby hairs below where her backward snapback ends. They way she leans her cheek into Tobin’s lips. The way her breath hits Tobin’s ear when she laughs. She notices it all even though it’s so much at once. 

“Hey now, I didn’t give you permission.” Christen gives her a sly smile.

“Oh, I’m sorry. May I please have permission to kiss your cheek?” 

_ God, do we sound stupid, _ Christen thinks. 

“Another one? You’ve given me like three already!”

“No,” she shakes her head back and forth a few times, a stupid grin threatening to establish permanent residence on her lips. “Only two.”

“You counting?” Christen’s eyebrows raise and her lips purse through a contained smile.

“Maybe. So how ‘bout that third then?”

“Oh my god,” Christen whispers and laughs. Tobin stays awaiting an answer. It isn’t until Christen meets her eyes again that she realizes Tobin was being serious. 

“Oh, you’re really asking?” 

Tobin lets out an amused huff through her nose. “I’m really asking.”

“Oh…” Christen trails off, suddenly feeling like a cheek kiss is much more intimate than it really is. “Uhm, yeah. Permission granted.” She laughs nervously, staring down to avoid Tobin’s eyes.

She has to wait a few moments until she feels one of Tobin’s hands move from her back to her cheek, her ear fitting just right into the space between Tobin’s thumb and pointer finger.. Then comes the weight of Tobin’s body pressing gently into hers. Then come the lips on her jaw, not her cheek. 

Tobin doesn’t leave one kiss. She leaves a trail of a number Christen forgets to count up the line of her jowl. They’re small, innocent, pecks and Tobin doesn’t make the effort to lift her lips from the skin between every kiss. She instead drags them lightly across the skin, rubbing her thumb onto Christen’s earlobe, and then whispers, “You’re beautiful.”

_ That’s _what makes it intimate.

///

"Favorite thing to eat?"

They’re sat atop Umpire Rock letting their feet rest from all the walking they’ve done.

"Oh!" Tobin exclaims. "New York pizza!"

"Pizza?" Christen scrunches her face up in dissatisfaction and laughs.

"_New York_ pizza."

"I get the feeling you just like New York food."

"Probably. I mean, it's always the unhealthy food that tastes the best."

"What about a real meal?"

"Any kind of pasta. I love them all."

"Interesting..." 

_Hot dogs. Pizza. Pasta._

“Alright,” Tobin pauses for effect, “one thing in the city you haven’t done yet and want to do.”

Christen scoffs a ‘pshh’. “Easy. Hamilton.”

Tobin sits up abruptly from the way she had been leaning back on her elbows. “You haven’t seen Hamilton?”

“Ugh, don’t rub it in. Tickets are hard to come by!”

“Wait, seriously? Not once?”

“No.”

“Tell me you’re lying.”

“I wish I was.”

Tobin’s jaw hangs open for a few moments as she blinks slowly, trying to process how someone who lives in New York City has yet to see Broadway’s most popular musical. 

“Okay, but you know the music, right?”

“Of course I do.” Christen shoots her an ‘are you kidding?’ look.

“Oh, thank goodness.” She puts a dramatic hand over her heart and lets out a heavy sigh. “I thought we would have had a deal breaker here.”

The smirk on Tobin’s face makes Christen roll her eyes and look away. 

“A deal to break, huh?”

“A deal,” Tobin confirms.

“And that deal is?”

“Ah, right. We need a new deal.” She ponders over the matter for a few seconds, tapping her chin like she’s thinking hard. “How about two deals?” She repeats Christen’s words from the night before with a grin.

“And what would those two deals be?”

“Another date and another kiss on the cheek.”

Christen looks at her through a side eye, grinning though she doesn’t mean to. “Can’t come up with something new? And haven’t you had enough cheek kisses for the day?”

Tobin looks at her with furrowed eyebrows, pretending to be shocked by what she just said. “Enough? No. Not enough.” She almost says, ‘never enough.’

“And what about me? What’s my end of the deal?”

“What do you want your end of the deal to be?”

_ Crap. _She really set herself up for a question she didn’t have the answer to. 

“I guess another date wouldn’t be so bad.”

“Agh, you can’t steal mine! That’s a cop out!”

“I can take that one since you had two. We’re even now.” 

Tobin laughs, nodding her head slowly. “Alright. Fair enough.”

“Good.”

There’s a silence that falls between them as they people watch. That is, until Tobin says, “Can I cash in my end of the deal now?”

(Christen lets her.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sooo, I've never actually been to NY. I just researched a bit and hoped I wrote it as accurately as I could!


	3. helpless

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> tobin has a surprise for christen. (christen has a surprise for them both)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I said I was gonna update my other two fics before this, but I've been having so much fun writing this one, it kinda just happened?  
hope you like it and sorry about the slow updates on all my fics!
> 
> as always, enjoy and feel free to leave me comments or asks on my Tumblr @ chrvstenpress.tumblr.com !  
Thanks for reading!

**Tobin:** _Remember when you told me to get a girl in ten days?_

**Anthony:** _ Well hello to you too, Tobin. _

**Anthony:** _Yes, I remember. It was only yesterday._

**Tobin:** _Sorry, hi. What would you say if I said I needed Hamilton tickets for tomorrow because I found a girl and if I wanna impress the girl, I need the tickets? _

**Tobin:** _And you, very kind sir who forced me to do this, have the hookups._

It was true. Because their company had worked on so many Broadway shows, and Anthony was often on those teams, he made some connections. She wasn’t even sure if Hamilton was one of them, given the show didn’t need a graphic design team for their set, but it was worth a shot.

**Anthony:** _Wait wait wait. Hold up. You got a girl already?_

**Tobin:** _maybe…_

**Anthony:** _Good god, Tobin._

**Anthony:** _ You see? All you had to do was try. _

**Anthony:** _I’ll see if I can pull them. Gotta ask around. You know how hard they are to get. _

**Tobin:** _Yeah, for sure. Thanks, Ant._

She had just dropped Christen off at her building and sent Anthony the text right away. As soon as Christen said she had never seen the show, Tobin knew she was going to ask him. It may have been a bit over the top; Hamilton tickets were expensive and she had only known the woman for two days, but Christen seemed worth it. 

**Tobin:** I had a really great time today. Thanks for coming.

**Christen:** You don’t have to keep thanking me. I had a great time too. Also, you just dropped me off. Miss me that much already? ;)

Tobin laughed at how Christen was calling her out. She was still only on the subway back to her place and she was already texting Christen.

**Tobin:** You know it. 

**Tobin:** Can’t wait to give you another kiss on the cheek on our next date.

**Christen:** Hey now, you cashed that in already today, remember?

She bites her lip in attempts to hide her smile, looking up to see if anyone on the subway had caught her as if they knew why she was smiling. 

**Tobin:** _Are you telling me I won’t get to give you another? :(_

**Christen: ** _ I’ll think about it. _

She can’t stop her smile that time and, quite frankly, she doesn’t care if anyone sees it.

**Anthony:** _You’re in luck my dude. Like SERIOUS luck. My friend was planning to go to tomorrow’s matinee and something came up. Had no idea what to do with the tickets so they’re yours._

**Tobin: ** _ You’re kidding. _

**Anthony: ** _ Nope. Do you want me to be kidding? I’ll take them if you don’t want them. _

**Tobin: ** _ NO. Nope. I’ll take them. Thanks so much, Ant. I owe you a BIG one. _

**Anthony: ** _ Yeah yeah. Meet me later to get them. _

_Holy shit._ She didn’t think it would actually work. Especially not that quickly. She thought she’d have to press her luck with the ticket lottery, and god knows just how unlikely it is to win that. Tobin has to stop herself from having a celebration on the train because she’s so excited.

///

“So,” Anthony holds back the two tickets as Tobin makes grabby hands for them, “this girl...”

“Uh huh.”

“She’s worth Hamilton tickets, huh?” 

Tobin laughs, mostly at herself. “Yeah, man. She’s pretty cool.”

“And you met her where?” 

“A bar.”

“You met a girl worth Hamilton tickets at a bar?”

“Uh huh. What’s with all the questions, man? You didn’t tell me I needed to find her on Wall Street. You just said find one.”

Anthony laughs loudly as he hands her the tickets. “No means to interrogate you. Just surprised you’d ask for something like this only a day after meeting her.”

Tobin stares at the tickets shyly. She was surprised with herself as well.

He smirks at her silence. “Listen, I gotta run but you enjoy that okay? And if she’s special enough for Hamilton tickets on day 3, do your best to keep her around, yeah?”

She huffs out a laugh. “Yeah. Thanks again, Ant. I really appreciate it.”

“No problem, Tobs.” He pats her shoulder as he leaves. 

She stays staring at the tickets for a few moments, flicking them back and forth at the tips with her fingers. 

Then she realizes she hasn’t even asked Christen. She had no idea if she already had plans and wouldn’t be able to go. Tobin fishes her phone out of her sweatshirt pocket in a hurry, fumbling around with it in search of Christen’s contact. 

“Hello? Tobin?” Christen’s voice sounds confused and Tobin can hear something sizzling. 

“Hi,” Tobin giggles. “Sorry, are you busy?” 

“Just cooking. What’s up?” 

“Missed you,” she says slyly. “And I might have a surprise.”

“Can’t go a few hours without me, huh?” Christen laughs. “A surprise?”

“A surprise,” Tobin repeats. “But I _ can _ tell you about this one right now. I won’t keep it a secret.”

“Okay,” Christen drawls in suspicion. “I’m listening.”

“Would you happen to have plans already for tomorrow afternoon?” 

“Can’t go a few hours without talking to me _ or _ a day without seeing me? Man, Tobin.” Tobin is actually blushing from all the teasing, but she carries on. 

“You’re irresistible, Christen.” The line is silent on both ends for a few seconds. “So, do you have plans tomorrow afternoon?”

“I do not. What’s the surprise?”

Tobin waits a moment, smiling to herself as she walks down the busy street. 

“What would you say about doing the one thing in New York you haven’t done yet but really want to? With me. Tomorrow.”

“_Tobin_.” Christen’s tone is full of disbelief.

“_Christen_,” Tobin repeats in the same tone playfully.

“Tobin, are you asking me what I think you’re asking me?”

“If you think I’m asking you to go see a matinee of Hamilton: An American Musical on Broadway tomorrow afternoon, then yes, I am asking you what you think I’m asking you.”

“Tobin, no. I can’t ask you to take me to see a Broadway musical for far too much money than is reasonable.”

“But you’re not asking me. I’m simply inviting you.”

“Tobin, don’t do that. You’ve only known me for two days.”

“Christen, please? I already have the tickets.”

“Tobin!”

“What?” Tobin laughs.

“You bought ridiculously expensive tickets without asking me first?!”

“I may have pulled them with work.”

“Tobin,” Christen whines.

Christen has said her names too many times for her to count now and she loves hearing it in the woman’s voice, even if it’s a little bit annoyed.

“See? Does that make you feel better? I didn’t spend crazy money on them.”

“No! You pulled them from someone at work! You’re using work connections on me!”

“Chris,” Tobin calls sweetly. “Please go with me tomorrow. If you don’t, I’ll have to ask my friend Servando and that will be way less fun than going with you.”

Christen has to ignore the flutters in her stomach that come from the way Tobin calls her ‘Chris’. Or the way that she’s so desperately trying to impress her. 

“I- I don’t know, Tobin.”

“Chris, it’s not that hard,” Tobin laughs. “Just say yes.”

There’s a long moment of silence and if Tobin couldn’t still hear the sizzling in the background, she might think Christen had hung up. 

“On one condition- actually, on _ two _ conditions,” Christen finally speaks. 

“Anything. Hit me.”

“One: you don’t pull something like this again because I feel really guilty right now for some reason.” 

Tobin chuckles, “Okay, I’ll try my best.”

“Two,” she pauses.

“What’s number two, Chris?” Tobin asks teasingly. 

“Don’t be so smug. I’m trying real hard not to be so annoyed with you right now. Two,” she pauses again, “I give _ you _ some cheek kisses for being incredibly and annoyingly sweet like this.”

Tobin’s heart may as well jump out of her chest and bounce its way right over to Christen’s feet. 

“So _ I _ get the cheek kisses and the pretty date? Ugh, I’m so lucky.” 

“You’re unbelievable,” Christen laughs.

“Well believe it because we are going to see Hamilton, the best show you’ll ever see, tomorrow.”

Christen laughs, “Yeah, still having a hard time believing that too.”

///

“I can’t go to lunch tomorrow after all, sorry guys.” Okay. Maybe she _ did _ have plans.

“What? Why not?” Ali immediately questions.

“Wait! Let me guess!” Alex says. She and Julie went over again (and forced Christen to cook dinner) just to hear about the date. “You have plans with _ Tobiiiin _.” Christen wants to actually kick Alex out of her apartment and deny her dinner just so she’ll stop being so irritating.

“Blowing us off for a girl? What, are we not good enough friends Chris?” Julie inputs, walking over to Alex’s side to team up on Christen.

“Yes, I have plans with Tobin and no, I’m not trying to blow you guys off. When you hear what the plans are you’ll forgive me. Or at least I hope you will.” She mutters the last part to herself.

“Okay. What are your plans then?” Ali asks as they sit down at the table to eat.

“She’s taking me to watch Hamilton.” She tries to play it cool, but the grin tugging at her lips tells the three girls just how excited she is.

Their jaws all drop. 

“Wait. So she’s taking you to see the show you’ve been just _ dying _ to see tomorrow? Just like that? Just dropped all that money on you after two days?” Ali questions as she pauses from taking a bite. 

“Seriously, what kind of charm did you put on her, Chris?” Alex asks. 

“Okay, I asked the same thing! But she said she got them from work, which I wasn’t all that much more comforted by.” Christen pretty much ignores Alex, only answering Ali’s questions.

“This is too good,” Julie laughs before taking a sip of her drink. “She’s so into you, C.”

“Well I guess I’m doing my job then.”

They all go silent at that. Christen immediately feels something unsettling weighing down from her chest to her gut. 

She sees Ali look around awkwardly for a few seconds before taking another bite. “What did you put in this today, Chris? It’s really good.” She changed the subject.

Seriously, god bless Alexandra Krieger’s heart. 

///

**Christen:** Is a matinee still as dressy as the evening show?

Christen throws her phone onto her bed and steps back over to her closet in search of something appropriate to wear. She thinks she’s probably overthinking it, but it’s better to be safe than sorry.

**Tobin:** _People still get dressed up for the theater?_

**Christen:** _I don’t know, that’s kinda why I’m asking. _

**Tobin:** _Okay, sassy. I was just gonna go in a blouse and some jeans. I don’t remember seeing many people seriously dressed up last time. _

**Christen:** _ Lol sorry. I didn’t mean to be sassy. A t-shirt or a blouse? _

**Tobin:** _I’m not a hobo, Chris. A blouse_.

**Christen: ** _ Okay, sassy. Thanks for the advice. _

**Tobin** : _ No problem:) See you in a bit, beautiful. _

Christen smiles at the message before locking her phone and searching through her closet once more. 

“ALI!” 

Ali comes speed walking into her room saying, “What? Are you okay?”

Christen falls onto her bed with a pout. “I have nothing to wear.”

Ali laughs and starts walking over to her closet. “Sure you do. You say this every time you have somewhere to go.”

“But I wear that stuff all the time!” 

“And? Tobin’s never seen you in any of it?”

Christen falls backward onto the mattress dramatically from her sitting position. “Ugh.”

“Stop your whining. Here, wear this.” Ali throws a gray knit sweater, black pair of skinny jeans, and royal blue coat at Christen. “It’s getting colder out now and it makes it look more formal. Put a pair of heels with it and ta-da.”

Christen sits up again as Ali walks out of the room, holding the clothes on her lap so they don’t fall. “Thank you fairy godmother!” She calls out.

“You’re welcome, Cinderella!” Ali calls back, secretly smirking to herself over the fact that Christen is so caught up over Tobin.

///

“Hey! Oh, wow.” Tobin stops from where she’s about to give Christen a hug, looking her up and down with a slacked jaw. “You were worried about what to wear and you still look gorgeous.” 

Christen stands still with slightly outstretched hands from the way she was about to accept Tobin’s hug, blushing at the way the woman is looking at her. “I’m not all that dressed up, but thank you.” She smiles sheepishly. 

Tobin finally gives her a big hug, holding her with locked arms around her waist and face buried into her hair that’s half-up half-down in its natural curls. “Still. You’re always beautiful.” 

Christen wraps her own arms around Tobin’s shoulders, giving her an equally as tight hug. She pulls back her face a little, bringing one of her hands to cup the side of Tobin’s neck like she did the day before. “You don’t look so bad yourself.” 

Tobin is in a nearly sheer white button-up blouse with black jeans, a light brown coat, and a pair of booties. 

They both grin while in each other’s arms. 

“Oh!” Christen leans in and gives Tobin a kiss on the cheek. It’s neither quick nor lingering, but just right for a hello. “Number one.” Her smile is so bright, Tobin feels like she’s actually staring at the sun.

She can’t help but laugh a bit. “I will _ definitely _ not complain about those.” 

Christen giggles and rubs her thumb along the space on Tobin’s neck just behind her jaw. “Good,” she gives her another one, quick this time, “you’ll be getting a few of those today.”

“Can’t wait.” She grins at Christen before giving release on her body, opting to hold her hand instead as they make their way to the entrance line. 

“Seriously, Tobin. Thank you. I can’t believe you did something like this.” 

“Cheek kisses are enough thanks, Chris,” she chuckles. “You don’t have to keep voicing it.”

“Well, too bad because you’re gonna get both.” Christen sends her a playful wink, giving her a quick kiss on her jaw because her aim was off from her speed. 

“Are you excited?” Tobin decides to change the subject. She’s never been one to like attention like that on her.

“Oh my god, I listened to the cast recording all morning. You don’t even know.” Christen tugs Tobin’s hand a bit for emphasis.

Tobin grins at her as they make their way closer up the line. “Well I’m excited for you. You’re gonna love it.” 

“I’m sure I will,” Christen smiles back. 

They make their way into the theater, stopping by the merchandise table to see if there was anything they’d want. Christed said she’d decide after the show so she had some time to think. 

“My heart is beating, like, so fast out of excitement,” Christen says as she leans into Tobin’s body to make herself audible over the loud chatter in the theater. 

Tobin laughs and grabs Christen’s hand, resting it in hers on the armrest between them. “Had you really been wanting to see it that bad?”

“Yeah,” Christen admits shyly. “And the energy in here is just buzzing. It’s like everyone knows something special is about to happen or something.”

Tobin nods. “Something special _ is _ about to happen.” She leans in to kiss Christen on the forehead. “Enjoy it.”

Christen’s eyes close at the way Tobin’s kiss is so tender. By the time she’s opening them again, the lights are dimming and the opening chords of Alexander Hamilton are booming throughout the theater. She feels Tobin squeeze her hand and turns to face her for a second, met with a smirking Tobin not giving her attention, eyes trained on the stage. Tobin gives her one last squeeze on the hand, like she’s telling her to pay attention, before she turns her attention back to the stage.

///

“Oh my god. What the heck?” 

Tobin laughs at the immediate words that spew out of Christen’s mouth as soon as the first act of the musical ends and the house lights are turned back on. 

“It gets better. Or sadder? Sadder but definitely better, just you wait.” Tobin winks and laughs at herself for her pun. 

“_Oh my god, _you did not just-”

“Oh, I did!”

Christen laughs in disbelief and puts her forehead into her hand, leaning onto the armrest between them. Suddenly, she feels Tobin next to her ear and she’s whispering, “I wasn’t gonna throw away my shot to make a pun like that.”

Christen pulls her head up from her hand, her jaw slacked open in a barely there smile. Tobin has a wicked grin on her face. She seems so genuinely pleased with herself for the two jokes she made. 

“That was horrible. Please don’t do that again,” Christen pleas through giggles.

Tobin laughs along with her for a moment. “But, Chris! I’ll never be satisfied if I don’t get all the puns in!” 

Christen is laughing way too hard to be appropriate for the theater, but she can’t find it in herself to care. No one is paying attention to them anyway as far as she’s aware.

“You’re a dork,” she says as she calms herself down. “A _ huge _ dork.”

Tobin just grins, excusing herself to go use the restroom quickly and buy them a snack if there’s time.

When she returns, she has a small bucket of popcorn and a single soft drink in her hand. “Hope you’re okay with sharing,” she says as she sits back in her seat and smiles sheepishly, putting the popcorn in Christen’s lap and the drink in the cupholder between them. Christen stares at the drink for a moment, realizing there was only one straw and they would be sharing that too. It was childish, but it still made her nervous because it was such a couple-like thing to do. 

“You okay?” Tobin questions as she reaches to Christen’s lap for some popcorn. 

“Yeah! Yeah, sorry. Thank you, Tobin.” 

Tobin smiles as she chews, reaching over for another few pieces, but she leans her body further into Christen’s this time and Christen can’t stop herself from leaning in to kiss Tobin’s cheek again. 

Tobin is sort of stunned by the quick contact. Mostly because it seemed so nonchalant but she could also tell Christen got shy about it after she did it. Before she could comment on it, the house lights are dimming again and she has no idea that she’s now in the same situation as Christen before the start of Act 1.

///

“That was… no words. Just no fucking words.”

“Woah,” Tobin laughs. “I don’t know if I’ve ever heard you cuss.”

Christen shoots her a playful side eye. “Many things you don’t know about me.”

“Can I learn?”

Christen turns her head to face Tobin. Her face is hopeful as she sticks her hands into her coat pockets. 

“What? Now?” Christen makes a pointing to the finger to the ground as if to suggest right that moment. 

“I don’t have anything else to do for the rest of the day and I wouldn’t mind sharing it with you. Only if you don’t have anything to do, though. Or if you just don’t want to, it’s cool. I know we’ve seen each other everyday for the past three days now, so I get it.”

Christen has no idea why Tobin is suddenly so shy. To be frank, Tobin doesn’t either. 

“Hey,” she grabs Tobin’s hand, stopping them just outside the theater, “I, too, have nothing else to do today and do not mind spending it with you, either.” Christen gives her a sweet, reassuring smile and places the hand that’s not holding Tobin’s on the woman’s shoulder. She rubs her thumb on the slope of Tobin’s neck a few times before leaning in and giving her another kiss on the cheek.

_ So much for setting boundaries and not flirting too much. _

Tobin smiles at her before looking around them. “Would you maybe wanna take a picture in front of the doors?” 

If they weren’t in the middle of the busy sidewalk right in front of the Richard Rogers Theater, Christen might have seriously grabbed Tobin’s face and kissed her hard just because she looked so cute when she was shy. It was such a difference from the boldness she as used to from the woman. 

Instead, Christen nodded her head and stepped back so Tobin could ask someone to take their picture. They took a normal one in front of the Schuyler Sisters silhouettes before Tobin tugged her over to the one of Alex and Eliza practically forehead to forehead and asked if they could recreate that one. Christen found herself saying yes before she even fully understood how close they would be. Tobin rushed over to another group, asking them to take their picture before coming back and taking Christen by the hands gently. She leaned in so carefully, giving Christen the chance to decide just how close they’d be. Christen followed suit, letting the tips of their noses barely bump before she moved back slightly, giving them some room. It made Tobin giggle, which made Christen giggle, which made for an all too adorable photo and the lady who took it telling them they were “so cute together.”

Neither girl knew what to say to that, but Tobin went for a smile and a “thanks” as the woman walked away. 

“Oh, that one is so cute, send it to me!” Christen came up behind Tobin’s shoulder to look at the photos with her after they had moved away from the crowd trying to take photos as well. Tobin swiped through the pictures, thankful to the multiple people she had asked for taking more than just one at every location. Christen eventually let her chin rest on Tobin’s shoulder, getting tired of having to hold her head at such an awkward angle to see.

When Tobin went to exit the photos, the screen opened up to the camera again, somehow on them. Both girls blushed at the sight on the phone. Christen’s head was nearly in Tobin’s neck from the way she was leaning on her shoulder. Behind them was the big Hamilton and Richard Rogers marquee. 

“Smile,” Tobin said, leaning her head the slightest bit closer to Christen’s. They both smiled goofily at the screen, giggling through their grins. Tobin was about to put her phone down when Christen said, “One more!” and kissed Tobin’s cheek yet again, this time from her position behind her.

Tobin almost forgot to press the button, too caught up in the way Christen’s body moved in closer to hers. She was practically fully against Tobin’s back, her hands on Tobin’s waist, her lips far too near the back of Tobin’s jaw because she couldn’t be bothered to crane her neck far enough to reach the center of Tobin’s cheek. 

But Tobin did take the photo (and it may have been even cuter than the one of them face to face.)

///

“Oh my god. That’s it. I’m not giving you shit for the way you eat anymore. You can decide where we go from now on.” 

Tobin’s heart may have done a little jump at the way Christen said ‘from now on.’

“See! I told you, Chris. New York pizza and hot dogs. Can’t beat ‘em.”

Christen gives a grease covered grin through a full mouth of pizza as she chews.

Tobin can’t stop herself from wrapping her napkin around her pointer finger and wiping the oil and sauce at the corners on Christen’s mouth.

“Getting a little messy here, are we?” Tobin teases.

“Just a little,” Christen scrunches her nose. “Thanks, Tobs.”

_ That’s new. _

“Tobs?”

“Oh, uh, sorry-”

“I like it, _ Chris _,” Tobin grins at her. 

Christen laughs for a second before saying, “Ah, right. I told you only certain people could call me Chris and still kept calling me that.”

“I’m not ‘certain people?’” Tobin raises an eyebrow and a corner of her mouth.

“I_ guess _,” Christen playfully concedes.

“You _ guess _? Okay, what do I have to do to be ‘certain people’ then?” 

“Keep feeding me food like this and you’re good.” 

“Cool. We can be unhealthy New Yorkers together.” Tobin playfully rips off another bite of her pizza with a harsh shake of her head. “So,” she says with her mouth full before swallowing, “Hit me. What’s something I don’t know about you, Christen?”

“Oh, so I’m _ Christen _ now?” Christen smirks. Tobin just rolls her eyes lightheartedly and takes another bite, prompting Christen to answer her question. “Hmmm… Oh! I know! I’m not actually from New York.” 

“Wait, what?” Tobin laughs. “Where are you from then?”

“California,” Christen smiles. “Los Angeles area.”

“I’ve got an LA girl on my hands?” Tobin teases.

“It would appear so.”

“Well, that’s actually not too hard to believe. People move to the city all the time. I’m from Jersey.”

“See! Hardly anyone in the city is actually from New York nowadays.”

“True,” Tobin chuckles. “So what made you come out here then? A cross-country move _ is _ a bit more surprising."

“My job, actually,” Christen smiles. “I always dreamed of working for _ The Feminine Essence _. I was working for a small magazine back home then. I got a call one day saying they had read some of my articles and were interested in talking to me some more. I think I nearly cried when I got off the phone. I screamed. Definitely,” she laughs at herself. “Next thing I knew, I was on a conference call interview and they were telling me there was a spot for in New York City if I wanted it. Two weeks later, I was out here looking for an affordable apartment and signing the papers. I went back to California, started packing my bags, and was back a week and a half later living out my dream.” 

“Wow,” Tobin says softly.

Christen chuckles, nodding her head. “Yeah. I got lucky.”

“I’m sure luck was no part of it. You’re probably an amazing writer. I mean, you have to be to work for them.” 

Christen’s cheek blush slightly as she picks at a piece of pepperoni on her unfinished pizza. “Enough about me. What about you? How did you end up here?”

“I like learning about you,” Tobin smiles. “Not too crazy of a story like you might hear in this city. I grew up in Jersey, went to college in North Carolina, played soccer there but decided I really, really loved graphic design and that’s what I wanted to pursue. So I started out with small companies around Jersey for a while before I decided I wanted to work for a bigger company. I sent out a few applications for here in the city and heard back from two. The one I’m at and another one. It was actually kind of a hard decision for me but I was privileged to be in that position. It was a good problem to have, I guess. But anyway, I had met with both and done some research and ultimately decided that the company I’m at now seemed like they could bring more opportunity and better work environment. And now, I’m here and I’m really happy where I’m at, so I’d say I made the right choice.” 

“Soccer player, huh?” Christen smirks, biting her lip playfully.

“That’s all you got from that?” Tobin laughs. 

“No,” Christen chuckles back, shaking her head. “I got that you seem like you know what you want in life and you work hard to get it.”

They smiled at each other for a moment, not speaking out of not knowing what to say and not feeling the need to say anything at all.

“Would you, uh, maybe wanna go back to my place?” Tobin asks hesitantly. 

Christen couldn’t stop her eyebrows from shooting up. 

As if Tobin immediately realizes the implications of her words she says, “Oh! Oh, no! Not like that! I just meant to hang out. Sorry, I should have specified.” Her cheeks go a little rosy and she chuckles nervously in hopes that Christen didn’t take it the wrong way.

Christen finds herself laughing at Tobin’s nervous rambles. “Yeah. Yeah, that sounds good.” She gives Tobin a smile. “As long as you have me home by a reasonable hour. I am a working woman after all.” She tries to act strict for a second before she winks.

“Yeah, okay.” Tobin grins as she stands up from her seat, offering a hand out to help Christen up too. “Will do.” 

///

“Okay,” Tobin huffs out as she opens her apartment door, flicking the lights on and hoping she remembered to clean up after herself. “Make yourself at home, shoes off, whatever. Can I get you some water, or something else? Oh, here let me take your coat.” Tobin moves behind Christen and peels the coat off by the shoulders, hanging it on a small coat rack she had near the door. “Water? Soda? I’m not sure if you want alcohol right now but-” 

“Water is fine, Tobs. Thank you.” She giggles and rubs a comforting hand on Tobin’s bicep. 

“Okay, let’s go get you some water then.” She takes Christen by the hand, pulling her to the kitchen when she could have just told her to wait on the couch. It feels silly once she’s done it, but it’s too late now.

“You have a really nice place. Do you live here alone?” 

“Oh, thanks. Yeah. I’m pretty new to this place actually. I lived with a roommate somewhere else but decided I wanted to try and live on my own since I could finally afford it.”

“Nice,” Christen says as she takes her time looking around. She realizes that in the short moments she was at the doorway the day before, she didn’t bother to take a look around. 

Once Tobin has given Christen her water, she drags her over to the couch by her hand again as if Christen would get lost in the short steps it took to get from the kitchen to the sofa.

“How long have you been here then? It’s really a gorgeous place and must really cost you to live here alone. Not to be like nosy about your income or rent or anything,” Christen asks once they’ve sat down.

“It’s fine,” Tobin chuckles. “Ah, just a few months actually. So not like brand new but it hasn’t been too long either. And you’re right. It’s just as expensive as any other one bedroom apartment in the city and definitely an adjustment in terms of bills but it makes me more independent and self-sufficient.” 

“Gotta be a grown up now, right?” 

“Something like that.”

They find themselves individually laughing at themselves and all the ways they can still feel so young with such adult lives.

“What about you? Do you have a roommate Miss ‘Don’t Come Over, You Could Be a Stalker’?” Tobin teases Christen, nudging her knee with a gentle fist.

Christen laughs, fighting Tobin’s light shove away with her own. “Well? I couldn’t be sure!”

“And you’re sure now?”

“Hmm, I haven’t decided yet.” Christen winks. 

“Bummer.” It’s like the night at the bar all over again. Tobin scoots a bit closer to Christen, placing a hand on her thigh just above her knee. “When will you know?”

Christen almost forgets what she’s supposed to say next. Tobin’s much, _ much _ closer and her hand is much, _ much _ warmer now that they’re indoors. “I, uh. I- Not sure,” she stutters, breath hitching at the way Tobin’s short fingernails scratch lazily of the fabric of her jeans.

“No? Do I have to try a little harder? Speed up the process a little?”

Tobin’s leaning her upper body towards Christen’s more, turning to angle herself the slightest bit. She’s leaning in for a kiss, Christen’s sure of it.

Christen suddenly clears her throat, turning her head and tucking a nonexistent strand of hair behind her ear. It makes Tobin lean back, but she doesn’t move away completely. She lets her hand sit on Christen’s leg for a few seconds before withdrawing it. 

_ Shit. _

“So, uh. Do you have a roommate?” Tobin tries to get them back to where they were before whatever _ that _ was. 

“Uhm. Yeah. Her name is Ali. She’s actually one of the girls that was at the bar with me the other night. And also my coworker and best friend. So I guess you could say we’re pretty close.” She tries to give a smile but it looks more timid than happy. 

“That’s cool.” Tobin tries to smile back. “I guess that makes it easier. Living with someone you’re that close to, I mean.”

“Yeah, definitely.”

It turns awkwardly quiet and Christen hates that it’s her fault. She just freaked out for some reason.

She almost considers saying she has to go, but then Tobin is reaching for the remote and asking Christen if she wants to watch something. She nods, not being able to bring herself to use actual words. 

“Me Before You or Tangled?”

“Hm?” Christen hums, turning her attention back to Tobin.

“Me Before You or Tangled?” She repeats. “You okay?”

“Oh, yeah. Sorry.” Christen blushes. “Tangled. I don’t want to be a crying mess all over your couch tonight.” She chuckles.

Tobin laughs too. “It’s okay. I’ll give you hugs to make you feel better,” she says cutely and winks to ease the tension.

“Yeah, you might have to do that anyway. I See the Light always gets me when I watch this movie.”

“Gladly.” Tobin smiles and puts the movie on, scooting over a bounce to be completely against Christen’s side. 

Tobin is slouched into the couch, taking Christen’s hand that’s on her lap and playing with her fingers. Christen is sat slanted, her body still somewhat facing Tobin’s. 

They only get a few minutes into the movie before Tobin is talking again. 

“What was your favorite part of the show?” She tilts her head back and to the side to get a better look at Christen. 

“Aren’t we supposed to be watching the movie?” Christen smirks.

“I like talking to you,” Tobin shrugs, “and I never got to ask you earlier.”

Christen giggles at Tobin’s comments before answering, “I think probably Yorktown. The song is really good but the production made it all the more amazing.”

“Oh that’s a good one. I got chills watching it,” Tobin grins. “Wanna know my favorite?”

“Hm?” Christen hums in question, a small smile on her face as she leans her head sideways against the back of the sofa. 

“Helpless.”

“Helpless?” Christen’s eyebrows furrow but she’s still smiling. 

“Uh huh. You know why?” 

“Why?” Christen giggles. 

“Because when you walked into the room on Friday night, my heart went _ boom _,” Tobin whispers.

The words make Christen’s heart go _ boom _, too.

“Another one?” Christen smiles wide, not quite laughing and pretending to be annoyed at the pun like earlier. 

“I’m being serious. I saw you walk into the bar that night and I wanted to talk to you right away but I didn’t want to be a creep. So when you walked over to the bar, I may or may not have made my friend leave so I could get my chance.” 

Christen is grinning and shaking her head as Tobin recounts the night.

“And then I _ did _ get to talk to you and I looked into your eyes and the sky was the limit. I was helpless.”

That’s it. That’s all it takes for Christen to surge forward and press her lips to Tobin’s.

Christen’s hand is on Tobin’s cheek, holding them steady. It’s barely enough to be locked lips, and it’s almost more like just pressed lips because Christen moved in too fast for Tobin to be ready. It only lasts a few seconds before Christen is pulling away, leaning her forehead onto Tobin’s and breathing a rhythm of breaths that Tobin can feel on her lips. 

“_Wow_,” Tobin chuckles, “It took a Hamilton reference to get you to kiss me?”

Christen shoves Tobin by her shoulder, leaning back into her seat and laughing. “No. I had to get you to shut up with the puns somehow.” 

“Oh, come on. You can’t say no to this.” Tobin playfully wiggles her eyebrows suggestively.

Christen laughs again. “You ever gonna stop with the Hamilton puns?” 

“Nope,” Tobin pops the p and goes for another. “Non-stop, baby.” 

_ Oh. _

Christen’s sure Tobin wasn’t saying ‘baby’ in reference to her. It was more of an in general kind of thing. Like when someone is watching a sports game and yells something along the lines of “Let’s go, baby!” from the hype kind of thing. Not the romantic ‘baby’ kind of thing. _ Right? _

“I thought more puns would get me more kisses but I guess not.” Tobin pouts adorably. 

Christen shakes her head, smiling as she leans in once more. She stops just before Tobin’s awaiting lips, quietly saying, “You know, you’re gonna run out of Hamilton jokes eventually. What are you gonna do then, hm?” as she looks between Tobin’s eyes. 

“I’ll figure it out later.” Tobin grabs the back of Christen’s neck and pulls her in for a real kiss. She doesn’t push it too far, only lightly sucking at Christen’s lips and just barely letting her tongue brush along her lower lip once. When they pull away again, Tobin has a stupid grin on her face that makes Christen shake her head again and completely sit back in her seat. They watch the movie for a little bit longer before Tobin just randomly starts playing the Hamilton cast recording. 

Christen looks over at her skeptically (and also amusedly because she obviously can’t sit still to watch the movie). 

“Let’s sing.” She smiles, skipping to Helpless and playfully trying to hit the high notes. She sings all her favorite parts as she looks into Christen’s eyes, bringing her hand up to her lips to kiss once or twice. 

“Okay, what’s your favorite song?”

“Nooo,” Christen laughs. “Don’t make me choose!”

“Okay, _ one _ of your favorite songs.”

Christen groans and throws her head back onto the couch. “Wait For It,” she decides.

“‘Kay,” Tobin smiles as she scrolls to find the song. She and Christen sing it quietly, both scrolling through their phones. Tobin stops midway through the song, opening her snapchat to subtly record Christen. She waits until the right moment to start the video, which also happens to be just before Christen looks behind her phone to see Tobin recording. She thinks Christen might get embarrassed and tell her to stop, but she doesn’t. She just keeps singing with a wide smile on her face, messing up the lyrics a little bit and correcting herself for it. When the song picks up, Christen only mouths the words, doing this cute little dance before stopping completely and just smiling brightly at the camera. 

Tobin stops the recording, saving it instantly for her to watch on her own later and says, “That was so cute.” 

Christen’s cheeks heat up at the innocent comment.

They watch the rest of the movie (Christen persuading Tobin to sit still and pay attention with the offer of hugs while they watch) before Christen decides it’s time for her to go. 

Tobin says, “Five more minutes,” but Christen only gives her two or three before she’s nudging Tobin off of her.

“Thanks for coming with me today,” Tobin grins kind of sleepily at the door. She had offered to take Christen home but the woman told her she’d be okay on her own. “And sorry for springing it on you so last minute.”

“Thank _ you _for taking me. It was a nice surprise, last minute or not.” Christen smirks. 

“My pleasure.” Tobin swings their hands back and forth lightly before Christen is leaning in to kiss her cheek, saying a soft “goodnight” and turning to leave. 

“Wait,” Tobin tugs Christen’s hand turning her back around and kissing her gently. “One Last Time.” She winks, making Christen laugh.

_ Yeah. So much for not giving in and enjoying things. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> how much fun do you think I had writing all those Hamilton puns? the answer is too much. also, a lot of you have commented(ty btw!) about c's relationship with the girls and I'm so glad y'all like the way I'm writing that. I wanted to make that dynamic playful and comfortable, almost like the girls from the bold type if you've seen it!  
anyway, lmk how y'all like this and, once again, thanks for reading!


	4. far from perfect

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just under 10k words for you on this update! lmk how you like it, what your favorite parts were, and/or just anything else you wanna say lol.
> 
> as always, enjoy and feel free to leave me comments or asks on my Tumblr @ chrvstenpress.tumblr.com !  
Thanks for reading!

Perfection. It’s something that has always troubled Christen. She’s always told herself that ‘no thing and no person is perfect’, but that has never stopped her from trying to both be and find the closest thing to it. 

When she was first learning to color, she always stayed inside the lines of those coloring book prints her dad would bring home for her. If she strayed outside of them, she’d get frustrated for a few seconds because it was nothing she could erase, but then her mom would tell her it was okay to color outside the lines, and she would carry on, trying her best not to do it again. When she was first learning to write, she took her time on each letter. Her face would press close to her pencil and paper, her tongue would stick out of the corner of her mouth, and she would finish her alphabet sheets last out of her entire class with eraser shavings covering the ground beneath her desk. When she joined the journalism club in high school, she turned her spell check off every time she wrote a new piece. She’d turn it on after a few revisions, just to be safe, but she wanted to reach perfection on her own.

As she got older and matured into an adult, she came to terms with the fact that, sometimes, perfect wasn’t always reasonable. Time came to be of the essence when real life hit her smack in the face, and perfection and time were not friends. Still, it didn’t stop her from trying to resemble perfection to the best of her ability when she could. 

And right now, she’s feeling pretty damn far from it. 

“So how’s the piece coming along?” Ali asks from the desk across from Christen’s.

She looks up through her eyelashes and then back down to her keyboard, face unchanged from it’s slight frown.

“Great.” 

“Uh huh.” 

“Horrible.”

“What’s the trouble, C?” Alex pipes in from her desk a few seats down.

“I… don’t really know what to write.” 

“What do you mean?” Julie asks. “I thought you said you were just gonna give recaps of the dates and stuff like that?” 

“Yeah,” Christen sighs, “I just… can’t.” 

The blonde gets up from her seat and strides over to her. She grabs ahold of Christen’s chin, turning her face side to side and looking at her intently. 

“Who are you and what have you done with Christen?” She squints her eyes and asks jokingly. 

Christen shoves her arms away, biting back a smile as she spins herself in a little in her swivel chair. 

“Christen Press? Can’t write? Is the world ending because that _ never _ happens.” Alex’s jaw drops dramatically as she says it. 

“Hardee har.” She rolls her eyes at her friends’ shenanigans. “I don’t know, guys, I just can’t seem to get the words out.”

“She leaves you that speechless, huh?” Julie teases, plopping back into her seat.

“No…” Christen rolls her eyes, but something in her knows that part of that statement is true (though she’d never say it). “I don’t know, it’s just- she hasn’t really given me anything to hate, you know? And I feel like I need something substantial for Kate to let me off the hook.”

“So you do like her, then?” Ali asks, raising an eyebrow.

“I didn’t say that…”

“But you don’t hate her?” Julie questions.

“No, Jules, I don’t hate her.”

“But you’re trying to.”

Christen looks over to Alex all too quickly for it to seem normal. Her friend doesn’t phrase it as a question this time, and though it’s not meant to be accusing, Christen feels like it is. 

“I… worded that wrong. I don’t want to hate her…” She’d been enjoying herself so much with Tobin, she had never once considered looking for anything to hate about her. Sure, she tried not to give in too much to Tobin’s charm (not that she tried very hard), but she wasn’t actively resisting everything Tobin offered in hopes of being able to hate her. 

“So, what then?” Alex challenges. 

“I’m not trying to hate her, I just need…” _ to not like her as much as I think I do. _ Her voice chokes up a bit and she swallows the rest of her sentence down. “I don’t know what I need, Alex.” 

“That’s fine, Chris. I wasn’t trying to upset you.”

“I know you weren’t,” Christen sighs. “I’m sorry, Lex. I’m just stressed because I can’t seem to write even a few sentences down without wanting to scrap them completely.” 

“It’s okay, C,” Alex gives her a small smile as if to say _ ‘I get it’ _ but Christen doesn’t really think she does. 

“Okay, how about this,” Ali starts, “Just write down a literal play-by-play of each date so far, leave the feelings for after. Don’t think, just write. Once you’ve done that, think about what the next step is in your guys’... whatever you want to call it, and go from there.” 

The proposal seems so out of character for Christen. She can’t _ not _ think when she writes. She feels stupid when she doesn’t think about things completely. The few times that she has tried that, she’s felt like she completely half-assed whatever she was doing and, as stated before, Christen hates not striving for the closest thing to perfection. At this point, though, she’s willing to try anything if it means getting at least a page written down. 

“Yeah, okay. I’ll try and see how it goes. Thanks, Ali,” she shoots her best friend a tight-lipped smile, “in the meantime, distract me with something else so I’m not tempted to think.”

“Oh!” Alex nearly jumps out of her seat. “Cute guy from the bar has been texting me!” 

Christen has to laugh because, of course that’s the first thing that comes to Alex’s mind (and it is actually the perfect distraction). 

“Ah, spill!” Julie squeals as Ali rolls her eyes with a bit-back smile.

“His name is Servando,” Alex drawls out as the four girls get back to working on their respective articles, “and he is _ the goddamn finest thing _ to walk this earth.” 

Christen finds herself going in and out of listening to Alex gush about this new guy as she types away, somehow finally getting herself to just write something down. She asks Alex questions every now and then just to show she’s listening, but at some point the conversation shifts and she loses track of both what they’re talking about and how much time has passed.

When lunch time comes around, the girls go to their usual Monday lunch spot down the block from their building. 

“Did you get enough done, Chris?” Ali asks once they’ve sat down at a table. 

“Yeah, I think so,” she sighs quietly. “It’s not where I’d like it to be but I at least have something down now.” 

“So the next step then…” Julie trails.

“And then there’s that,” Christen chuckles, feeling like she can’t quite catch a break from her work.

“Okay, well let’s start from where you guys are now,” Alex says, “give us the rundown.” 

“I have,” Christen laughs. “You guys bug me for details every time I come home.” 

“Humor us,” Ali says with a smirk.

Christen rolls her eyes and sighs once more for dramatic effect. “We met at the bar. I gave her my number. She asked me out that night. She took me out the next day. Then asked me out again later that night. Then took me to see Hamilton and here we are now.”

“You’re so boring,” Julie frowns teasingly. 

“It sounds to me like she’s been doing a lot of the work here.” Alex raises an eyebrow at Christen.

It didn’t occur to Christen until that moment that Tobin was, indeed, making all of the moves. “Oh. Yeah, I guess so.” 

“So _ you _ ask her out then,” Julie says. “Change it up a bit.” 

“I’m going to dinner with Ash for a bit tonight so you’re free to use our place if you don’t want to go out,” Ali mentions. Ash, or Ashlyn, was Ali’s girlfriend of a few years that she was head over heels in love with. Christen was quite honestly awaiting the day that Ali dropped the ‘I’m moving in with my girlfriend’ bomb on her, but she loved Ashlyn for Ali, so she wouldn’t completely hate if that happened. 

“Yeah, okay. I’ll text her later on to see if she’s free.” 

“Ooooh no,” Julie laughs. “No fears. Do it now, girl.”

“Yeah, don’t wait until she already has plans to ask her,” Alex adds. 

“My god,” Christen mutters, pulling her phone out. “It’s Monday. Who even makes plans for a Monday?” 

Ali coughs and raises an eyebrow at Christen. 

“Other than Ali and Ash because they’re obsessed with each other,” Christen deadpans. 

“_You _ are about to make plans for a Monday. _ Text her_,” Alex urges. 

“What the heck am I even supposed to say?” 

“How about, _ ‘Hey, Tobin! I’m clueless and my friends had to tell me to text you so how about dinner tonight at my place?’ _” Julie badgers lightheartedly.

“So funny.” 

“I know, thanks,” Julie tucks her chin into her shoulder and smiles childishly.

Christen sticks her tongue out at her which Julie returns immediately before Ali is breaking up the play fight, muttering “Children, I swear,” to herself with a shake of the head. “Just say hello first and make small talk. Ask her how her day is so far or something.”

Christen really does feel clueless. It’s been so long that she’s had any interactions like this with anyone, she feels like she’s forgotten how to swim and needs a trainer (or three) to help her remember again.

She bobs her head in a nod to Ali’s suggestion and begins typing a new message. 

**Christen:** _Hey, Eliza. Or Mr. Big? Don’t know which you prefer now ;) How’s your day going?_

“You guys don’t think it’s too soon? I’ve seen her everyday since we met,” She asks as soon as she’s sent the message.

“Chris, you only have ten days,” Alex reminds her.

_ Oh yeah. That. _

“Right,” Christen whispers. 

**Tobin:** _Why hello, Alexander. Or Carrie? Which do you prefer? ;) My day is a whole lot better now that I’ve heard from you. Thanks for asking._

**Tobin:** _How’s yours? Work treating you okay?_

Christen rolls her eyes amusedly at the messages. She should have known that was coming. All three of her friends share a knowing glance as they watch Christen type away again. 

“Anyway…” Ali trails, starting a new conversation that Christen shows no intent to participate in.

**Christen** : _ Chris is fine ;) Work is okay today. A bit stressful but it’ll be done with sooner or later. _

There are far too many winky faces being thrown around for her own good. 

**Tobin:** _Oh no:( I’m sorry. You wanna taco ‘bout it?_

She actually giggles at the joke. When Ali asks if she’s okay, she has to nod her head, apologize, and bite her lips between her teeth to stop it from happening again. 

But then it occurs to her that Tobin is the exact reason she’s so stressed. Tobin, the ever charming woman she met at a bar, is the root of the weed that won’t leave her alone. Maybe she wants to hate her for that alone, but she can’t bring herself to.

**Christen:** _I’m okay. Just one of those days, you know?_

**Tobin:** _I do know. We all have them._

**Tobin:** _What can I do to cheer you up?_

If that’s any sort of clear opportunity, Christen would be a fool not to take it.

**Christen:** _Wellll… I feel a little left out of getting to impress you because you’ve been hogging up the date planning. How about I cook us dinner tonight?_

**Tobin:** _Lol. I’ve been hogging up the date planning huh?_

**Tobin:** _Also, four days in a row getting to see you? Count me in. _

**Tobin:** _Also (again), how about you come cook at my place? I don’t have a roommate, remember? ;)_

A lot is happening at once. One, Christen has to hurry to silence her phone because, apparently, Tobin doesn’t know how to send her entire message in one text. Two, she has to assure her friends again that everything is fine after she fumbles with her phone for a few seconds and her cheeks heat up. Three, her food is being placed before her in the midst of it all and it makes everything feel even more chaotic. And four, she has no fucking clue what Tobin means by the last message. 

She has no idea if it’s meant to be innocent and simply an offer of more privacy, but the winking face sure as hell makes it seem like an insinuation of more than that. Now that they’ve kissed, Christen doesn’t know how things will change. Tobin seemed to be especially sexually suggestive on the night they met. Saying ‘cheers’ to “sex in this city” was… something. 

She’d ask her friends, but there’s no way in hell that she’s telling them they kissed. Much less that _ she _ kissed Tobin. She’d never hear the end of it.

**Christen:** _My roommate Ali is going out with her girlfriend tonight for a bit so my apartment is empty, too. I don’t mind either way, though :)_

**Tobin:** _ Come to mine :) More time alone in case she decides to come home early. _

Okay. She really has no idea what message Tobin is trying to get across. 

**Christen:** _Sounds good! What time should I come over? _

**Tobin:** _I’m usually home around 5ish so anything after 5:30 maybe? Unless you need me to pick anything up from the market for dinner on the way home._

**Christen:** _ No way. I got it! You’re sweet for offering, though. I’ll let you know when I’m on my way over. _

**Tobin:** _No problem! See you later, beautiful!_

**Tobin:** _Oh and dress comfy! I just wanna relax with you tonight :)_

Yeah. No fucking clue what any of it means. 

///

“Yo, T,” Anthony comes up behind her, slapping a hand on her shoulder, “How was the show yesterday?”

Tobin grins at the thought of a very excited, very cute Christen on the edge of her seat. “It was better than I remembered. Thanks for doing that for me, again.” 

“You got it. And the girl?”

“Still got her,” she nods once. 

“Dope. Let me know how it turns out with you two, yeah?” 

“For sure.”

“Aight, I gotta run to one last meeting before I head out. Don’t you dare stay late today,” he orders seriously. “Drag her out of here if you need to, you hear me?” He looks up to Servando with raised eyebrows and a firm point at Tobin. 

Servando smirks, nodding in understanding and bidding Anthony goodbye and good luck. 

“What show’s he talking about?” Servando asks as soon as Anthony is out the door. 

Tobin looks up over her computer to meet his gaze. “I took her to see Hamilton yesterday.”

“Oh shit!”

Tobin laughs at his exclamation, turning her attention back to her computer. She had far too much work to finish before the day was over and didn’t want to get kept up at work later than needed.

“Why’d you say thanks?”

“He hooked me up with the tickets,” she admits quietly, not wanting too many other people to hear. 

“Ah,” he nods, “and she liked it?”

“Loved it. She’d never seen it.”

“She’s got you hooked.”

“You’re one to talk,” she looks up at him again.

“Hey,” he puts his hands up defensively, “I’ll admit Alex has got me hooked, no issue.”

Tobin hums, once again trying to return her focus to her work. 

“And you actually like her?”

She sighs, wanting to finish up for the day as soon as possible so she can go home and clean up before Christen arrives. “Yeah, man. She’s cool. She’s coming over later on.”

“_ Oh _.” He makes a suggestive face at her.

“Not like that, Serv. She just wanted to cook us dinner and she has a roommate so I offered my place.”

“Mhmm. I get it. You want alone time.”

“Yes... but not like that. C’mon, dude, you know me.”

“Okay,” he surrenders, “Just saying, maybe it wouldn’t hurt if things went that way tonight. Casual is good sometimes, T.” 

She gives him a nod in acknowledgement, but she doesn’t say that she might want more than just casual with Christen.

Her phone buzzes just as she’s about to get back to work again. She sighs, hating another distraction, until she sees who it is and she thinks she might just be okay with this distraction.

**Christen:** _ Forgot to ask. Any allergies, likes, or dislikes before I buy anything you won’t want? _

**Tobin:** _None :) What are we having for dinner?_

**Christen: ** _ You’ll see later! _

She chuckles at her phone before _ finally _ ridding herself of every distraction for the rest of the day. 

///

She’s a mess. She’s a mess and she’s considering cancelling on Tobin because, suddenly, her heart rate won’t stabilize and she can’t get her damn stomach to stop churning and she’s dropped her razor in the shower at least four times because she’s nervous.

She picked out a safe matching set of underwear, just in case, but nothing too telling of what she might have been expecting. Tobin said to dress comfy, but she has no idea if ‘comfy’ means jeans and a decent jacket comfy or leggings and a soft sweater comfy. She’s embarrassed to ask, but she’d hate to show up in the latter only to realize she misinterpreted the word ‘comfy’.

**Christen: ** _ What are you wearing? _

She sends it without thinking twice, and now that she _ does _ have a second thought, it’s too late.

**Christen:** _SHIT that sounded wrong. I mean what should I wear? _

**Christen:** _What do you mean by comfy, is what I meant._

There’s no reason to clarify twice, but she has to be safe. 

**Tobin:** _Lol not gonna lie, I was a little shocked. _

**Tobin:** _You can come in pjs if you really want to. Idk if you really wanna ride the train like that, but as you wish._

**Tobin:** _ I’m just wearing sweats. I told you we’re just relaxing tonight! _

Christen smacks her forehead.

**Christen:** _Sweats. Got it. Leaving in about 20. _

She opts for the leggings and soft sweater, moisturizing her body with lotion in every reachable area before slipping the outfit on. She’s left her hair curly, but thrown it up in a ponytail so it’s not in her way when she cooks. 

“I’m leaving now, Al!” she calls out.

Ali appears with her purse in hand just as Christen opens the door. “I’m heading out too so I’ll go with. I don’t know why you didn’t just do it here, C.”

Christen shrugs and moves aside to let Ali out, making sure their door is locked before shutting it. “She wanted me to go to her, I guess.”

Ali raises an eyebrow at her. “She can’t make the commute for you, or what?” 

“No, Al,” she sighs, “Just…” 

“Just what?”

“Nothing.”

Ali is quiet for half of the elevator ride down until she says. “You know, Chris, if there’s something on your mind you should say it.”

Christen looks up at her to see a straight face. 

“She may have said something along the lines of more time alone at her place in case you came back early.” 

Ali snorts. “So she wants privacy? What are her plans?”

“I don’t know…” Christen says quietly. 

“Are you expecting something to happen tonight?”

Christen shrugs again. “She’s pretty flirty about that kind of stuff but I’m not sure. I don’t know how to read her right now.”

“And you’re okay with going _ there _ just for an article that you plan on scrapping?”

_ Right. Just an article. _

“Uhm, I guess?”

Ali sighs, reaching out to squeeze Christen’s arm as they step out of the elevator. “Don’t do anything you don’t want to, okay, C? Be careful.” 

“Yeah, I will. Love you,” Christen replies, moving to give Ali a hug and kiss on the cheek goodbye as Ashlyn walks up to them.

“Love you too, Chris. See you later.”

“Take care of my girl, Ash,” Christen says with a wink as she hugs Ashlyn quickly too.

“Always do, Chris,” she says back, wrapping an arm around Ali’s waist and giving her a kiss hello on the side of her head. 

Christen smiles at them before turning to walk away. She checks her phone now that she’s alone to see a text from none other than Tobin.

**Tobin:** _Perfect. Can’t wait to see you, beautiful._

///

The moment Tobin opens her door, she’s given Christen a kiss on the cheek hello and taken the grocery bags from her, rushing to place them in the kitchen as Christen shuts the door and follows. 

“I could have carried them in, Tobin,” Christen laughs.

“Nope. You carried them all the way here,” Tobin grins, walking up to Christen and pulling her in for a kiss by the hips. “Couldn’t wait to do that,” she says before kissing her for another short moment. 

_ So she kisses liberally after the first kiss, got it _, Christen thinks.

“Aren’t you hungry?” she asks, pulling away from Tobin’s lips while chuckling. 

“Yeah, but I’ve been thinking about kissing you since I watched you walk down the hall last night,” Tobin replies smoothly, kissing her gently one last time before releasing her hips. “I see you caught my ‘comfy’ drift,” she mentions as she gives Christen a once over.

She’s not one to value physical aspects over personality, but she sure does appreciate the view from behind of Christen’s backside in tight leggings as the woman walks in front of her. 

“I mean, I did have to ask,” Christen smirks as she begins to take the groceries out of the bag. 

Tobin hums, coming up behind her to wrap her up in another embrace and bury her face into her neck. “You smell so good,” Tobin mumbles into her sweater before dropping a few kisses to her shoulder and inhaling deeply again. 

Christen giggles and squirms a bit, but Tobin’s hold is too tight for her to go very far. “Tobs, you know I’m gonna have to move around to make us dinner, right?”

“Just a moment and I’ll let you go,” she smiles, spinning Christen around to capture her lips again. 

Christen’s arms wrap around her neck as she lets Tobin lean her back onto the counter behind her. 

“You’re so gorgeous, even like this,” she whispers against Christen’s lips. 

“Such a smooth talker,” Christen smiles, letting her get one last kiss in before gently prying her arms off and moving to go back to the groceries. 

“It’s the truth.” She winks, leaning onto the counter next to Christen. “Pasta?” she asks, seeing all the ingredients laid out next to her.

Christen nods. “You said it’s your favorite.”

Tobin smiles widely. “You’re cute.”

Christen raises an eyebrow at her with a stifled smile. “You’re flirty. May I have a pot and a saucepan please?”

Tobin pushes herself off the counter to grab the needed appliances, letting her hand brush along Christen’s back as she passes. “Anything else you need?”

“A cutting board, knife, mixing spoon, and a fork, please.” 

“You got it, gorgeous.”

Once she’s given Christen the rest, she asks, “So, what can I do?”

Christen looks over from where she’s about to cut up some chicken and mushrooms to see a restless Tobin moving random things around for no reason.

“Nothing. I said I was gonna cook for you, remember?”

“But I’m bored and I feel useless just watching,” she whines.

“I haven’t been here for all that long and I’ve already bored you? Gosh, I need to work on my skills.”

Tobin laughs, coming up behind her once more and resting her head on Christen’s shoulder. “You don’t bore me. It’s just that you’re busy and can’t really entertain me, either,” she whispers into Christen’s ear, leaving a barely there kiss on the shell of it.

“Nuh uh. You can’t distract me unless you don’t want to eat tonight.” She nudges Tobin away with her elbow while leaning her face away from the lips at her ear.

“Let me do something then!”

“Fine,” Christen huffs, passing over the mushrooms, “you can cut these while I finish cutting and seasoning the chicken.”

Tobin smiles, taking the vegetables and pulling out another knife and smaller cutting board for herself. 

“What kinda pasta are we making?” 

“A creamy, garlic chicken and mushroom pasta. You’re okay with mushrooms right? I know not everyone cares for them,” Christen asks with a hint of worry in her voice.

“Love them,” Tobin assures her with a smile, “I hate chicken, though.”

Christen’s eyes snap up to her and she’s about to complain that Tobin said she had no dislikes until she sees the mischievous grin playing on her lips.

“You’re horrible,” she grunts.

Tobin laughs loudly and breaks her facade when she sees Christen’s wide eyes. “Chris, who doesn’t like chicken?”

“You never know!”

“I’m sorry, I was just playing. It sounds delicious.”

Tobin reaches over to squeeze Christen’s forearm before she returns to her assigned task with a smile lingering on her face.

Christen works her way around Tobin’s kitchen, asking where certain things are every now and then as Tobin sits on the counter watching. She would help, but there wasn’t much she could do after the chopping. 

Tobin occasionally tries to reach for a taste of something, but Christen catches her every time with a smack on the back of the hand. Tobin pouts, pretends it hurts, and requests a kiss to make up for it, but by the third time, Christen playfully orders her to keep her hands and lips to herself. 

Every time it happens, Christen can’t help but notice the way Tobin just can’t seem to stop kissing her. She thinks at some point it might become annoying, but it never does and Tobin is just as endearing as ever.

“I’m starving,” Christen grumbles as she mixes the sauce. 

“Sorry,” Tobin winces in apology, though there’s not much to be sorry for. She hops off the counters to dig through her refrigerator. “Ah! I have some cheeses and meats! How did I forget I bought these?”

Christen chuckles as Tobin places a few different meats and cheeses in front of her and pulls out a pack of crackers just until the food is ready. 

“I would make a charcuterie but I haven’t gotten a proper board since I moved and the cutting boards, uh, are still dirty.” She nods her chin over to the sink where the sitting boards both sit, waiting to be washed, “I think you might be too hungry to wait til I wash one?”

“Definitely too hungry and definitely don’t mind that it’s not on a platter,” Christen laughs, taking random pieces of meat and cheese, not bothering to consider which she chose together. “Mmm, so good. Thank you.” 

“My pleasure. Sorry I forgot. I would have put them out before you got here and taken out a bottle of wine while I was at it,” she starts to mumble the last parts more to herself than to Christen, realizing that would have been nice to have out for her guest when she arrived.

Christen smiles as she chews, noticing the way Tobin suddenly appears to be in her own bubble. “We can still have wine with the pasta?” she proposes.

“Oh, right!” Tobin rushes over to pick one. “What kind do you like? I’ll see if I have anything like it.”

“Doesn’t matter to me. Whatever you think goes best!” she replies as she mixes the pasta and the sauce, adding the mushrooms in as she goes. 

By the time Tobin reappears with a bottle of wine, Christen is preparing each of their plates with precision, making sure the sauce doesn’t spread messily along the edges of their bowls. 

“I chose a red that’s pretty fresh, if that’s okay with you? I’m not really a wine person, so sorry if I chose wrong,” Tobin chuckles nervously.

“I’m not either, so I’ll have no idea if you did,” Christen grins, following Tobin to the table with each of their plates as Tobin carries the bottle and wine glasses. 

“Cheers,” Tobin raises her glass.

“To?”

“Not knowing shit about wine,” Tobin says with a wide grin.

Christen laughs, “To not knowing shit about wine.” She moves to clink her glass with Tobin’s, but the other glass is pulled back.

“_And _ to you. For cooking us what looks like an amazing dinner.” 

Christen blushes. She doesn’t repeat the toast this time, she only clinks her glass to Tobin’s and says a quiet “Cheers” before taking a sip. 

After her first bite, Tobin moans through a mouthful and flutters her eyes closed, tilting her head back slowly. 

“That’s it. You’re perfect. I’m convinced.”

Christen has to laugh at her dramatics. “Far from it, but I’m glad you like it.” 

They take a few more bites in silence before Christen speaks up again. “You know, I considered making you tacos after that taco joke earlier?”

Tobin laughs, “I would have been so okay with tacos, but the fact that you remembered my favorite food and came over and cooked it for me is cute. Thank you, by the way.”

“No need to thank me,” she smiles, “I’m happy to.”

“Well, I’m happy to have you here.” They share another smile before Tobin is asking, “So what happened today?”

“Hm?” Christen hums as she chews.

“You said you had a stressful day,” Tobin explains. “Hence why I asked if you wanted to taco ‘bout it.”

“Oh,” Christen speaks quietly.

_ Shit. _

“Just one of those days,” she says, just as she did earlier.

“Yeah,” Tobin gives a bit of a confused smile, “you mentioned that.”

Christen knows that she’s really asking for a better explanation of what happened. Because that’s something people do. They talk about their days over dinner. 

“Just kept getting distracted and couldn’t really focus on my work.” It’s not entirely a lie. She _ couldn’t _ focus on her work as hard as she tried. “But the girls helped and I was able to get some stuff done.” She tries her best to give Tobin a convincing smile, hoping the woman would let it go after that. 

She does. 

Tobin notices the way Christen seems to not want to talk about it any further. So she drops it.

But she doesn’t know that Christen doesn’t want to talk about her day because she’s afraid that Tobin will ask what her article is about and she’ll have to come up with something on the spot because she was dumb enough to forget that this was all just for work.

And then Christen feels _ really fucking guilty _ because she’s sitting there, having dinner with this woman who has been nothing but amazing, and she’s being greedy. She’s forgetting that she has a job and that this dinner should be considered a part of said job. She’s forgetting that she’s not supposed to give in to whatever feelings arise. She’s forgetting that this is all supposed to be temporary. And temporary means it will be over very, very soon.

She’s forgetting that this shouldn’t be real.

“Well, I’m glad they were able to help you out,” Tobin closes the discussion with a polite smile.

“Yeah,” Christen whispers. She clears her throat and sits up a bit, stabbing her fork into a few pieces of pasta as she asks, “What about you? Did work treat you okay?”

“Yeah,” Tobin answers without hesitation, “just another day, you know?” 

“That doesn’t sound very convincing,” Christen mentions quietly.

Tobin looks up at her like she’s been caught. “Nah, no, I love my job. It’s all good.”

“But?”

It should be unfair, really, (it probably is) that Christen gets to ask Tobin about work without being shut out. 

“Nothing really, just kinda… weird sometimes.”

“Really? Why’s that?”

“I just get caught up doing other peoples’ work and get super busy, but that pretty much comes with every job and I love mine so I can’t complain too much.”

“Well that still doesn’t make it fair.”

_ Yeah, Christen, because you can talk about ‘fair’. _

“No, but you know how it goes. A female working in a male-dominated industry always gets the crapload. But I also get really great opportunities too so, again, can’t really complain.”

“Are you one of the only women?” She forgoes commenting on the way Tobin keeps trying to justify every bad piece of information that leaves her mouth. 

“Yeah,” Tobin sighs, “the only one actually.”

Christen makes a face that reads something between shocked and sympathetic. 

“But they don’t really treat me like it. They almost treat me like one of the dudes so it’s not too bad.”

“Giving you their ‘crapload’ is treating you like ‘one of the dudes’?” She adds a sad smile to the end of her question so she doesn’t seem like she’s being too pushy.

“Well… no, I guess.”

“I promise I’m not trying to press too much. Just kinda sucks the way we settle for the smallest bit of parity when it’s presented to us, you know?”

“Yeah, I get it,” Tobin says with a bit more conviction, “Almost like we take what we can get because we think we won’t get any more of it if we don’t.” 

“Yeah, exactly. It’s kind of crazy, though. I knew your type of industry was more male dominated but it’s different to actually hear about it because hardly any men work in my field.”

“You guys don’t have many male writers?”

Christen shakes her head no. “We have some, but very few. They’re pretty much just there to give the occasional male perspective. I think it’s because we’re _ The Feminine Essence _ and it may be a bit difficult for a male to understand that. But in the writing world, in general, it’s still kind of male dominated, so I guess it’s not really my field that’s not male-dominated, it’s just my magazine. The only genres that women might dominate seem to be Romance and anything similar, but Politics, Adventure, etcetera? Forget it. Which is crazy considering more women than men earn Creative Writing degrees. I guess that just goes to show that no matter how many of us there are, the bias still favors the males.” 

Tobin cracks a smile at the way Christen is so passionate about the subject. 

“I can’t say I know as much about it as you do, but I do get it.”

Christen turns sheepish when she catches Tobin’s gaze. “Sorry. Kinda went a little overboard there, didn’t I?”

“Not at all. Can’t be shy about our opinions, otherwise nothing changes.” Tobin throws her a wink that doesn’t at all make her feel more confident. 

“You’re not wrong,” Christen acknowledges with a small chuckle.

“You know, I don’t really think it hit me til now, or maybe I just didn’t want to acknowledge it, but I’ve had to work ten times as hard to make it onto certain teams than the men do. And I’m not trying to put myself on a high horse here or anything-”

“Fuck it, put yourself up there,” Christen interrupts with a smile and a wink.

Tobin chuckles before she continues, “But I do pick up a lot of their work. I’m only really close with one person, my friend Servando that I told you about, and that’s because he’s been one of the only ones who’s fully respected me. Well, him and my team leader, but the rest are a little bit more obvious at times. And it’s not like they talk down to me or anything, but they do just casually give me their work and don’t really acknowledge that I did it for them.” 

Christen groans a little. “That makes me so mad for you. How is there not smoke coming out of your ears?” 

“I don’t know,” Tobin shrugs, “I’m not really the type to get super fired up. Unless it’s like soccer or something,” she laughs. “But Anthony acknowledges my hard work and pretty much gives me credit and opportunity where it’s due. I kinda just shut the rest of the guys out because they aren’t the ones deciding what chances I get.”

Christen is quiet for a moment, flicking her eyes across Tobin’s face. “Well it sounds to me like what I said yesterday is true.” 

“What’s that?” Tobin questions with the corner of her mouth quirked up as she prepares to take another bite. 

“That you’re a hard worker,” Christen answers quietly. “And also very admirable for putting up with that because I can tell you right now, I would lose my mind.”

They share a laugh before Tobin shrugs and blushes slightly.

“Do you regret not taking the soccer route?” 

“No way,” she shakes her head, “I love the game but, like I said yesterday, I love what I do more.”

“That’s good,” Christen smiles, “Wait, what did you say your friend’s name was?”

Tobin looks up from her plate, confused. “Huh? Servando?”

“Is he interested in anyone right now?”

Tobin’s eyebrows furrow more. “Yes? He just met someone. Do you know him or something?”

“I don’t, you can calm down,” she smirks, throwing a wink at a very confused, almost worried Tobin, “but I think my friend Alex does.”

“Oh my god,” Tobin suddenly realizes what’s happening. “Alex, Alex from the bar on Friday night, Alex?” 

“Well I’m Christen from the bar on Friday night, aren’t I?” she laughs. 

“That’s wild. He’s the friend I shooed away when you walked over. Little did I know I was shooing him right over to Alex.” 

“Yeah, well, my dear Alex was drunk as a skunk that night and wouldn’t shut up about him when we left. _ Still _ hasn’t shut up about him. She got lucky that Ali got his number for her, otherwise I think she might still be crying.”

Tobin shakes her head, still smiling. “We all have the same ‘night we met’ stories now.”

“I don’t think Sex and the City came up in their conversation, but sure,” Christen teases. 

“How else was I supposed to get you interested?”

“How did you know that Sex and the City would interest me?” 

Tobin gives her an ‘are you kidding me’ look. “You ordered a Cosmo.”

Christen laughs, “What is that supposed to mean?”

“Nothing!” Tobin raises her hands defensively. “Just, if you ordered a Cosmo, I think Sex and the City was a decent way to get to talk to you.” 

“And if I had never seen the show?”

“I still would have already gotten your attention,” Tobin smirks.

“Okay,” Christen laughs incredulously, “You can get off the high horse now.”

Tobin breaks her cocky act and chuckles along with her. “I’m just kidding,” she says sweetly, leaning onto the table a bit and pushing her plate out of the way. “I told you I was pretty much a mess. I just needed some kind of conversation starter.”

Christen laughs in disbelief. “Ha. A mess. Yeah right.”

“I was!” 

“Did you not see _ me _?! I’d say you did just fine in comparison.”

“Well apparently,” Tobin drags out, “I needed to ‘try a little harder’. That’s what you said, right?” 

Christen rolls her eyes, a smile tugging at the corners of her lips. “I was playing.”

Tobin lets out an amused “hmph” as she watches Christen lean onto the table the same as her. “I don’t know if you were, Chris. If I remember correctly, you even said it might ‘speed up the process a little.’”

“Yeah,” Christen hums. “And if _ I _ remember correctly, I followed by saying that I was only teasing.”

Tobin grins back at her. “You also said my flirting wasn’t _ ‘too _ bad’.”

Christen full on giggles at that. “Well I’m telling you now that you did much better than I, and you’re flirting is just fine.”

“Still only _ just fine_?!” Tobin gasps. 

“What do you want me to tell you?” Christen laughs. “That you flirted well enough to render me speechless?”

Tobin’s eyebrows raise. “Is that the truth?”

Christen opens her mouth, but ultimately closes it in a smiling lip bite. “I never said that that’s what happened. I simply asked if that’s what you wanted to hear.”

Tobin hums, standing to take their plates to the sink with a wide grin still taking residence on her face. “You gonna want more wine?”

“No, I’m okay. I have work in the morning and still have to get back to my place safely tonight. Thanks, though.”

“Ah, she’s a responsible woman,” Tobin smirks as she puts the plates in the sink and Christen approaches with the empty wine glasses.

“Did you expect something else?” She asks playfully as she hands Tobin the glasses. “Sorry, were you gonna have more?” 

“No and no,” Tobin chuckles, taking the wine glasses from her, “You just keep getting better as I get to know you.” She pecks Christen’s lips gently before turning to rinse everything off. 

“Here, I can help.” Christen tries to scoot next to Tobin at the sink, but her body is blocked off by Tobin’s in front of her. 

“Nope.”

“Wha- Why not?”

“Because you already cooked for us and I’m just rinsing them. I’ll wash them later,” she explains as she dries her hands on the nearest dish towel.

“But there’s not that much, we can just do it no-” 

Her sentence gets cut off by Tobin’s lips on hers again and firm hands on her waist. 

“Don’t wanna wash right now,” Tobin whispers, pecking the corner of her mouth a few times before moving back to her lips.

“You keep” _ kiss _ “kissing me” _ kiss _ “instead” _ kiss _ “of letting me do things.” _ kiss_.

Tobin laughs into Christen’s mouth, not being able to stay serious enough to kiss her again. “Are you complaining?”

“When you don’t let me cook or clean up, yes,” she grins.

Tobin fakes an offended scoff, pulling her face back enough to look at Christen clearly, but still keeping her hands tight on her hips. “You’re saying you’d rather cook or clean than kiss me?”

Christen scrunches her nose cutely and shrugs her shoulders as a response. 

Tobin puffs out another scoff, saying, “Oh really?” to which Christen responds with an affirmative hum while giggling. 

“That’s it,” Tobin declares, wrapping her arms fully around Christen and pushing her backward toward the living room as she smothers her face in quick pecks.

Christen squeals in response, clutching Tobin’s shoulders as she’s guided backwards. “Tobin, you’re gonna make us trip and fall!” 

She lifts Christen off the ground at that. “No I won’t,” she smiles, “I gotcha.”

Christen smiles foolishly as her feet are barely lifted off the ground and Tobin’s arms around her waist get tighter so she won’t fall. She wraps her arms around Tobin’s neck, letting the woman kiss her again as she keeps walking. 

The thing was, she didn’t exactly hate kissing Tobin. In fact, it was quite the opposite. But when Tobin’s lips found hers and it felt like they had shared far more many kisses than they actually had, like their lips had already known each other for a lifetime, Christen couldn’t be bothered to think about how potentially bad it was that she enjoyed this as much as she did. It was like as soon as those lips met hers, she couldn’t think. No - she could, she just _ didn’t _. 

Kissing Tobin didn’t make her feel stupid like when she didn’t think when she was writing; kissing Tobin made her feel liberated in a way. Like if her thoughts were water, and when she was working or stressed, they splashed around and made a mess in her mind, but when she kissed Tobin, they stilled.

Tobin eventually gets them to the couch, sitting down slowly with Christen still in her arms, still kissing her in a midst of giggles. 

Christen didn’t want to be the one to initiate anything serious, so she opts out of stradling Tobin’s lap. Instead, she kneels onto the spot beside Tobin, falling into a sitting position with her leg tucked beneath her. It makes the angle a bit uncomfortable, so at some point, Tobin stops. She places a few last soft kisses to Christen’s cheek before she sits back completely.

“TV?” 

Christen chuckles at the way Tobin so nonchalantly went from making out with her to just wanting to cuddle and watch TV.

“Yeah, but let me go leave my shoes by the door first. I don’t want to put them on the couch.” 

By the time she’s returned, Tobin has made herself completely comfortable. She’s laid with one bent arm behind her head, the other rested on her stomach, and her legs crossed comfortably. 

Christen has no idea where her place in the scene in front of her is, and she stands awkwardly before Tobin for a few seconds, contemplating where to place herself.

She’s brought out of her thoughts when she hears Tobin laughing. “Why do you look like you can’t decide where to sit down?”

Christen blushes slightly. “Because I don’t. You didn’t exactly leave much room.”

“What do you mean?” Tobin feigns confusion. “There’s room right here,” she says, patting the small amount of space between the back of the couch and her body.

Christen chuckles, kneeling a leg into the edge of the couch so she can climb over Tobin and into the space Tobin signaled.

She falls down into it, half on Tobin’s body, with a “humph”, prompting laughs from both of them as she awkwardly situates herself against Tobin’s side. There’s not much room for her to keep her body to herself, and she has to settle for resting a hand on Tobin’s abdomen and laying her head slightly against Tobin’s shoulder. 

“I don’t bite,” she laughs, sensing the way Christen is tense and trying not to spread herself all over her. “But if this isn’t comfortable for you we can just sit-”

“It’s fine,” Christen dismisses quickly. She lays her head a little bit more purposefully on Tobin’s shoulder and runs her hand down to the dip just above Tobin’s hip. “Sorry. I don’t mean to be so weird.”

“You’re fine,” Tobin says quietly. “Sorry if I’ve been too over the top with the affection tonight. I guess I didn’t really show any restrictions,” she smiles sheepishly for the first time that night. “I just really like you.” The words leave her lips in a whisper and Christen can feel them against her eyes, her nose, her lips. 

It doesn’t hit her until then how close their faces are. How Tobin is looking at her. How a hand runs across her back in gentle motions, only fingertips making contact with her body. 

And it’s overwhelming all over again. Her hand involuntarily squeezes at Tobin’s hip when a kiss is pressed just between her eyebrows. When she flutters her eyes open, she’s met with the softest honey eyes roaming her face, she has to close her own again to try to stop the flutters in her stomach.

“Sorry, I-” Tobin huffs at herself quietly, “I did it again.”

Christen opens her eyes once more to find Tobin looking at absolutely nothing, her face no longer adorned with the hint of a grin that had been there the entire night.

And as if she has no self-restraint, she presses herself upward to reach Tobin’s chin with her lips. It’s actually more of the curve beneath Tobin’s bottom lip that she kisses than her chin, but she’ll tell herself that’s not what she was aiming for. 

Before Christen can even say the words ‘it’s okay’, Tobin’s head bends down half an inch to meet her lips with her own, as if that one little kiss Christen placed to her skin was enough to say them for her. 

It’s languid and easy and they both lose themselves in each other’s lips like it’s second nature, but it doesn’t last very long. 

Tobin eases them out of it with a slow, gentle pull on Christen’s bottom lip until it pops away from her and she can only leave Christen with a few last, chaste pecks. 

And even then, when the kisses are so soft they should barely qualify as kisses, Christen thinks that Tobin may be the only person she doesn’t mind kissing like this. Like there’s no reason to kiss, but there’s every intention in the kiss. It shouldn’t make sense; it doesn’t make sense. But in Christen’s mind, sense is lost when pillowy, parted lips meet her own.

They stay silent for a few short moments, Christen’s head tucked into Tobin’s neck, arm laid across her stomach and Tobin’s hand running light fingers along the length of it. 

The silence should stir Christen’s thoughts again, but it doesn’t. It’s like it’s not just kissing Tobin that makes her thoughts settle, it’s just Tobin being in her space, being in Tobin’s space, _ sharing _ space with Tobin. 

Tobin wordlessly scrolls through the channel guide, not choosing anything until she nudges Christen’s arm and says, “See anything you wanna watch? I didn’t really see anything interesting.”

Christen shakes her head no, not having paid attention to what was playing because she thought Tobin would just choose for them.

“I don’t really watch TV out here all that often,” she mentions out of nowhere, “I have an Apple TV in my room so I usually just chill in there.” 

Christen cracks a smile, but doesn’t move her head. “I’d probably spend all my time in a comfy bed watching TV, too, if I could.”

“Hey, hey, hey, I never said I spend all my time in there. I’m a working woman, too, Chris.”

Christen giggles, “I can so picture you coming home after work, kicking your shoes off, and going straight to bed.”

Tobin gasps dramatically. “I do not!” _ She totally does. _ “I have a life!”

Christen hums. “What do you do instead of that, then?”

“Things.”

Christen picks her head up. “Things?” She laughs. 

“_Yeah_.” 

“That’s very descriptive.”

“Descriptive is my middle name.”

Christen smirks and rolls her eyes, mumbling, “Whatever you say,” as she lays her head back down. 

“Here,” Tobin shoves the remote at her, “I didn’t find anything worth watching.”

Christen laughs, not taking the remote, “What? You’re too good for regular TV because you have an _ Apple TV _?”

Tobin moves under Christen, making the woman’s head nearly fall off her shoulder. “You’re mean.”

“You’re a baby.”

“So rude.” She scooches away again, almost falling off the couch and fully taking her shoulder away from under Christen’s head.

“Come back,” Christen laughs, keeping a strong hold on her midsection, “You were my pillow.”

“What do I get if I come back?” Tobin questions with an eyebrow raised.

“I’m literally cuddling with you,” Christen points out with a chuckle.

“I think I need something more,” Tobin says contemplatively, but then her face turns cheeky and Christen shakes her head.

“And what exactly is ‘more’, hm?”

“Kisses. Take it or leave it.”

Christen laughs at Tobin’s gambler impersonation and tries to act annoyed as she grabs a fistful of her shirt to pull her back and into a deep kiss. 

“Will that sate you for long enough to be my pillow again?” Christen whispers against her lips. 

“I think I said ‘kisses’ in the plural form, not ‘kiss’ in the-” 

She’s cut off by a laughing Christen pushing her into the couch and dropping herself back on her shoulder. 

“But I guess that one will make do,” she laughs along. 

Christen takes the remote, scrolling for herself until she, too, decides that there’s nothing interesting on. 

“We _ could _ use my Apple TV and pick something more interesting, but then again, you enjoy regular TV, sooo…”

Christen, not thinking about where that takes them, says, “Fine. Show me what’s so special about this Apple TV you speak so highly of.”

Tobin’s eyebrows raise in surprise for a second before she’s stuttering an “okay” and lifting herself up to lead Christen to her room. 

“Uh, you can lay down, or whatever. Let me just-” she searches around her bedside tables for her remotes, running over to the television to make sure it’s on the right settings. “Okay,” she breathes, climbing onto her bed slowly, careful not to bounce enough to move Christen around, “I have Netflix, Hulu, Prime video, so take your pick.”

“Nuh uh, you were the one who said there was nothing interesting out there and apparently a lot of interesting in here, so you pick.”

“Uh, okay.” Tobin makes her way through a multitude of options before she settles on some series she had recently started, playing it from the beginning so Christen wouldn’t be lost. 

“Took you long enough,” Christen teases quietly, biting her lip to contain her giggles when Tobin looks over at her. 

When she lays down, she notices Christen is still sitting awkwardly against the headboard.

“Chris, you can get comfortable,” she chuckles. “It’s a bed for a reason.”

Christen obliges with a blush, carefully scooting herself down the bed and folding her hands over her stomach.

It takes all of five minutes into the show for Tobin to somehow end up closer to Christen than she originally was. She lets her hand rest on Christen’s thigh, occasionally running her thumb back and forth affectionately as she lays on her side facing the woman. 

That is until Tobin grows bored of watching the same few episodes she had already seen and ends up nuzzling her nose into Christen’s shoulder, kissing it a few times and squeezing her thigh before trying to turn her attention back to the screen. 

Only a few minutes later, she’s back to being engrossed in Christen, kissing a line up her shoulder, her neck, and to her cheek. 

When Christen turns her head to face her with an amused smile, she connects their foreheads. “Whatcha doing?”

“Nothing,” she kisses the bottom corner of Christen’s mouth. 

The woman hums, trying to stop herself from laughing as Tobin braces herself with her forearm and slips her hand from her thigh to her farthest hip.

“I thought you said this TV was more entertaining?”

Tobin smiles against her cheek. “Is it not entertaining you?”

“Kinda hard to decide when you won’t really let me watch.” 

“M’not doing anything,” she mumbles against Christen’s skin.

“Tobin, you’re the one who wanted to come in here and you’re not even watching,” she laughs.

“S’because I already saw all this. I’m bored now.”

She kisses along Christen’s jaw similar to the way she did on their first date on the bridge in Central Park.

Christen’s breath catches a little, similar to the way it did the first time, and she places a light hand on Tobin’s ribs where the woman is practically hovering over her.

“And you’re here,” another kiss to the spot just below her ear, “and I can’t help,” a soft peck to her neck, “but want to kiss your pretty face when I see it,” a final kiss to her lips. 

And for a second Christen feels like a teenager breaking the rules that bedroom doors stay open and there’s no kissing on the bed. But then Tobin is wrapping her hand around her waist and pulling her closer and licking along her slightly parted lips and all of those thoughts are gone.

Her hand ends up on Tobin’s neck as lips find their way to her jaw again, and she really shouldn’t be enjoying this as much as she is. _ Really _ shouldn’t kiss Tobin back with just as much passion and force. _ Definitely _ shouldn’t slip her fingertips just beneath the hem of Tobin’s t-shirt. 

“Was the Apple TV just an excuse to get me into your bed?” She probably shouldn’t ask that either.

“I wish I was that smooth.”

They laugh against each other’s lips before Tobin pecks Christen’s softly, slowly, and whispers, “I promise it wasn’t,” before kissing her soundly to try to say as much without the words.

Tobin tries to ease them out of whatever they just slipped into, not wanting Christen to think that all she wants is to get in her pants, but just as she thinks she’s getting there, Christen is pushing up, pushing Tobin back, leaning over her this time, and sending them right back in.

Her back ends up against the bed in change. Her hands instinctively, and involuntarily, go straight to the back of Christen’s thighs the moment the woman straddles her. A small sound barely escapes her lips from surprise, but it mostly gets swallowed by Christen’s mouth attaching itself to hers again. 

She should, she really, _ really _ should, stop them, but Christen kisses her like she no one else has ever kissed her before, and she can’t for a moment. 

No one has ever moved in such harmony with her like Christen. Never known just when to slow down and just when to pick back up again like Christen. Never held her face so perfectly like Christen. Never been anything like Christen. 

Christen’s fingertips move just beneath her shirt and nails scratch lightly against her hip bone. A different hand holds her neck, tilting it up just barely. When lips find her neck, they’re not leaving pecks. No. They’re open-mouthed, hot, heavy licks and kisses that will definitely lead into much more if she doesn’t-

“Hey, babe, maybe we should- maybe we should, uh, slow down a little bit?”

She really doesn’t mean for the term of endearment to spill out of her lips, but it does.

Christen really doesn’t want to stop at the sound of it, but she does.

She coughs a little awkwardly and climbs off of Tobin’s lap and mumbles a quiet apology as she runs her fingers over her scalp as if to push her little stray hairs further back to where her ponytail is tied. 

“It’s okay. There’s nothing to apologize for.” She sits up to be at her same level.

“Uh, it’s getting kinda late, no? I have work in the morning and I should probably,” she clears her throat, “probably get going.”

“Chris, you don’t have to.” 

“No, no. It’s- I should get going.”

Tobin sighs through her nose quietly. “Okay.”

They both slip off the bed carefully, barely making noise even when they take steps as if trying not to make the moment any more awkward than it has already become.

Christen slips her shoes on quickly as Tobin stands nearby with her hands stuffed in her pockets.

“Thanks for dinner.”

“Yeah,” Christen gives a tight-lipped smile. “No problem.”

They both reach for the door knob at the same time, but Christen retracts her hand quickly as she realizes it.

“I’ll see you?” Tobin asks quietly, leaning against her door frame and barely catching a few of Christen’s fingers with her own.

She doesn’t really say anything. She just gives a hesitant nod and another closed-lipped smile and doesn’t hold eye contact very long.

“Get home safe, Chris.” She presses a light kiss to Christen’s cheek before pulling back and reluctantly unhooking her fingers from the ones she was holding. “Goodnight.”

She watches as the elevator doors close in front of Christen at the end of the hall before walking back into her apartment with a heavy sigh and heavy feet.

“Fuck.”


	5. something important

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey bros! im baaaaaack. well, with this fic anyway. it's been a minute and I know I left this in a bit of an uncomfy spot, so here's an update! feel free to leave me comments to let me know how you liked it, what ur fav parts were, and/or what your thoughts are!
> 
> as always, enjoy and feel free to leave me comments or asks on my Tumblr @ chrvstenpress.tumblr.com !  
Thanks for reading!
> 
> (I was also v sleepy when I proof read so sorry for any mistakes loool)

“I fucked up.”

Servando peers over his computer screen to where Tobin is nervously sitting on top of a desk and picking at the fringe in the rip of her jeans. He figured something was wrong with her. She never strayed from her work. Ever. 

So when he saw her get up from her desk, stroll around the office a few times, go to the office kitchen in search of nothing, and return to sit directly in front of him, he knew something was up. He just figured he’d wait until she spoke up.

“Care to elaborate?”

Tobin sighs, smoothing her palm over her thigh and abandoning the fringe. “With Christen. I fucked up.” 

“Well, yeah, I kinda figured that,” Servando deadpans lightheartedly. “Care to elaborate some _ more_?”

“She, uh, she came over last night and it was great, like amazing, dude. She cooked and then we ate and just chilled… and then I made the mistake of inviting her into my room without thinking about it-”

“Wait, what?” Servando laughs, pushing his keyboard away from him and sitting back into his chair. “What do you mean ‘without thinking about it?’” 

“I just said that I had better TV in my room than out in the living room,” Tobin states simply with a shrug.

“Wow,” he chuckles, “What a move.”

“See, that’s the thing, though! It wasn’t meant to be a move! And I think she thought it was because she kind of made a comment about it-”

“I mean, it sounds like a move.”

“It wasn’t!”

“Okay, okay! Go on,” Servando surrenders, throwing his arms up.

“I don’t know. We kind of almost got carried away. Or maybe we didn’t and I was just being paranoid. Either way, I put a stop to it because I didn’t want her to think that was all I wanted and she just left.”

“She left? Just like that?”

“Well, no,” Tobin says without explaining, again. Servando gives her another look for it. “I mean she didn’t just storm out. She said she should probably get going because it was getting late and I only tried to stop her once. It just got super awkward and I didn’t want to force her to stay. Maybe I should have tried harder, though, I don’t know.” 

Servando watches as she twiddles her fingers together, not looking at anything else.

“Have you talked to her since?”

She shakes her head no. 

“And this was just last night?” 

A nod. 

A heavy sigh from him. 

“What are you gonna tell Ant?”

Tobin finally looks up, eyebrows furrowed and nostrils just barely flared. “This isn’t even about that anymore, Serv. I don’t care about the stupd project anymore.”

“Okay, sorry,” he surrenders once more, “Didn’t mean to assume.”

She sighs, looking down again. “You’re fine, man. I just feel like shit for how last night ended. I probably sound stupid because I haven’t even known her a week but I just really like her, you know? She seems so different and I probably came on a little too strong but then she did, and I didn’t know what to do with that. I don’t want us to just be a hook-up.”

“Tobs, just tell her that.”

“I doubt she wants to talk to me now. She could barely even look at me last night when she left.”

“It’s worth a shot.”

Tobin looks around the office, head still slightly drooped. 

“Look, T. If you like her as much as you say you do, I think it’s worth a shot. I’m not trying to be a sap or anything but I can tell she’s already brought out some bit of a different side of you. One that I like, by the way.”

She gives a single huff of a laugh at his words. “Not trying to be a sap, my ass.”

“Oh, whatever,” he scoffs, “I’m not as bad as you.”

“There’s nothing wrong with being emotional, Serv. It’s a part of being human.” She walks up to his desk and pokes him in the chest with a single finger, right over where his heart.

“Thanks, Yoda,” he rolls his eyes, shoving her hand away.

“Always pass on what you have learned, Serv,” she teases, earning another playfull scoff.

“How’s Alex?” Tobin smirks, knowing he’s going to flip when he hears what she and Christen discovered last night.

“Oh, she’s great, dude. I saw her last night, too. We just went for dinner and to some arcade I found near her place but it’s always great with her. She’s super sweet and beyond gorgeous and-” He stops gushing at the sight of Tobin’s amused gaze. 

“Not a sap?”

“Shut up.”

Tobin laughs at his flustered state. “Wanna hear something funny?”

“What?” Servando grumbles, slumped in his swivel chair and using his feet to move side to side just barely. 

“You’re girl is my girl’s best friend. Or one of them, at least.”

“Wait what?” Servando sits up a little at that.

“Alex. She’s one of Chris’ best friends. She was with her at the bar on Friday,” Tobin explains, chuckling lightly at the shock on her friend’s face.

“You’re _ kidding_.”

“Nope,” Tobin laughs, “She figured it out last night when I said your name. Apparently Alex has been talking about you,” she smirks, standing to walk back to her desk.

“Talking about me? Talking about me how? Good things?” Servando rushes to ask as he watches Tobin begin to walk away. “T, come on!” 

Tobin laughs as she settles back at her desk. “Ask her how she feels yourself, dude.”

“Right,” he concedes, falling back into his chair and staying silent for a few seconds before he says, “Your girl?”

Tobin peers over her screen, and though Servando can only see her eyes, he just knows there’s a fierce blush raging on her cheeks as she mutters, “Shut up.”

///

All three of them notice. It’s not hard when Christen has been acting the way she has all day. 

Ali noticed it the night before at home, but the blank look on Christen’s face and her silence kept her from saying anything then for some reason.

It obviously wasn’t just Ali who caught on to the fact that something was off, but Julie and Alex also both contributed to the share of questioning looks every time Christen gave an all too heavy sigh, or chewed her lip so hard they thought it might bleed, or ran her finger-tips through her hair what seemed like every forty seconds, or-

“Chris, what’s wrong?” Julie questions sympathetically as Christen puts her face into her hands while they wait for their food at lunch.

Christen slowly retracts her face from her hands, tugging her skin down with her hands as she does. 

“Nothing. Just tired.”

Alex shoots her a look that says she’s not convinced. “Chris,” she prods gently.

“I’m fine. Just didn’t sleep well,” Christen tries to convince, her voice straining as she says the first two words.

“So this has nothing to do with the fact that you came home looking like a kicked puppy last night?” Ali questions softly, not trying to agitate Christen.

“I did not,” Christen grunts and rolls her eyes. So much for not agitating her.

Ali raises an eyebrow at her, tilting her head a little bit. 

Christen considers denying the accusation again until she sees Julie and Alex share a look as Ali continues to give her a questioning stare and knows there’s no way they’ll believe it.

She sighs heavily, running her hand through her hair for the _ n _th time that day. “Just didn’t end the night very well.” 

“Is everything okay?” Alex questions, rubbing a hand on Christen’s back comfortingly.

“Yeah, it’s fine. I mean…” she takes a moment to rethink where her response is going. “I’m- I don’t actually know.”

“You wanna explain a little bit, babe?” Ali offers in a way that tells Christen she doesn’t have to if she really doesn’t want to. 

The thing, though, is Ali knows what Christen’s questions were going into the night before. Christen told her that she was confused and had no idea where the night would lead because Tobin was confusing her so much. So she’s sure that coming home, not saying a word, and apparently looking the way she did told Ali that somehow, the night was not successful. 

“We were having a great time. I cooked and she lingered around and then we ate and just hung out. And then just hanging out turned into something more… intimate.”

Alex and Julie’s faces are both stunned as Ali seems relatively more unfazed. 

“No! Not like- we didn’t-” Christen stammers, hands flying up and making dismissive gestures laced with some bit of defensiveness. The shock falls from their faces quickly, but the skeptical looks are still there. 

“She was just being really flirty all day yesterday and I wasn’t sure how to take it.” She can tell that the information was settling enough to her friends, but knows they would rather hear the full story. She figures that, at this point, they can only help her and almost certainly wouldn’t tease her for anything. 

“After I reached out and offered to make dinner, she proposed that I go cook at her place so we could be alone, thinking Ali would be home. And when I said that Ali was going out, she still thought I should go to her place in case Ali got back early, so we could have more alone time.” Julie and Alex both have concentrated faces, trying not to show their slight shock at the news of Tobin’s straightforwardness. “I couldn’t really say no at that point, and based on what she was saying, I didn’t know what any of it meant. So I freaked out a bit and started questioning things like I always do. Anyway, she was being flirty all day and when I showed up, let’s just say she was more affectionate than she had been before.” She takes a pause to watch for the reaction on her friends’ faces, not finding much more than awaiting stares. “I wasn’t exactly stopping it, either. She apologized for probably coming on too strong at some point but none of it really stopped. We were just watching TV in her living room but she kept making jokes about how the Apple TV in her bedroom was better, and me, of course not fully considering things, basically challenged that. I’m sure you can figure out where that led us.” She hears a semi-contained snicker, looking up from where she was playing with the hem of her dress on her lap to see Julie trying not to be obvious. “You can laugh, Jules-”

“No, no, I’m sorry. Go on,” Julie apologizes, still trying to contain her giggles as smiles attempt to spread on Alex and Ali’s lips as well. 

“No, it- it’s funny. I was obviously not thinking and it sounds so silly now,” Christen chuckles despite herself, causing the other three girls to laugh as well. 

“You ended up in her bed because of an Apple TV?” Alex questions through her laughs, clutching her stomach as she hunches over slightly.

“I know! I’m clueless!” Christen defends, still laughing along until Ali urges her to continue.

“Okay, okay, so you end up in her bed?” Ali questions, causing them all to let out one last fit of laughs before Christen continues.

“So we end up on her bed and I was being awkward per usual I guess because she made fun of me for sitting upright against the headboard while she was perfectly comfortable. But uh, me laying down somehow turned into things getting just a little carried away… I guess.” Her laughter simmers down rather quickly into the same dejected tone she had been speaking in before. “I don’t… I don’t really know what happened or how but one moment I was the one being receptive and the next… she was. Then suddenly I was okay with the night going in that direction and wasn’t really stopping and she… she stopped it before anything even really happened.”

“Chris,” Alex sympathizes quietly. 

“No, no, it’s fine. It’s better that we stopped. I just- I left so fast and she obviously felt bad and I just made an excuse of it being late and said I should leave… I just- I don’t even know how that happened. I think it’s just been so long, I was just readily giving into it. I don’t know,” she reasons with a blush spreading on her cheeks.

“Or you just like her?” Julie tries lightly. 

“No, no, I just. She’s great. I mean she’s respectful and kind and funny, but I’ve only known her for, what, four, five days?”

“Yeah, and you seem four, five seconds from wylin’,” Alex jokes, earning a glare from Ali and Christen before they all start laughing lightly again. 

“That doesn’t mean you can’t like her, Chris. Or be attracted to her,” Ali suggests, getting them back on track of trying to help Christen. “You seem to come home pretty happy every time you see her.”

“I told you guys she was attractive from night one. That’s one of the reasons I chose her. I just think that, unfortunately for me, it’s been so long since I’ve had that experience with someone, I was ready to just give into it.” She’s of course sheepish as she says it, but more defensive that anything. It’s not even aggressive or offended. To her three friends, it’s complete denial.

The three of them share careful glances, all knowing that broaching the subject of Christen actually liking Tobin any more than they already have might lead to a not-so-great outcome. 

“So what now then? Have you talked to her since?” Alex asks, sitting back into her chair. 

“Uh, no. I haven’t heard from her at all since I, um… since I left.”

“Are you going to reach out to her?” Ali questions.

“No, no. I… I wouldn’t even know what to say. I’m sure she’s upset with me for how the night ended. I don’t know that she would like me crawling back to her very much.”

“Chris, did she seem upset with you when you left?” Ali continues, seemingly already knowing the answer to her own question.

“No,” Christen shakes her head softly, “I mean, she obviously wasn’t happy I was leaving, but she didn’t seem angry.”

“Then what are you afraid of?”

_ Everything _.

“I… I just don’t know that I should be the one reaching out. I’ll leave the ball in her court to play.”

All three of them want to slap Christen upside the back of her head for being so ridiculous. It could be as easy as Christen just talking to Tobin about what happened the night before, but of course, their friend was making every excuse in the book for why she wouldn’t.

“So what happens with the piece then? You look for a new person? Scrap it?” Julie questions out of genuine curiosity. 

“I’ve been trying to figure that out all day,” Christen admits. “I don’t really want to go look for someone new. It just feels.. wrong.” As if the initial pursuit wasn’t wrong in itself. “I think if I don’t hear from Tobin I’m just gonna tell Kate I need a new assignment. That this one didn’t work out and it would be unreasonable to start the process all over again practically halfway through this one.”

“Right,” Julie accepts the answer with obvious concern. 

“Well, Chris, the only thing I can tell you is what I always have. You need to trust your heart before your brain sometimes. See where it might take you,” Ali reminds her friend. “And I’m not kidding about you coming home happy whenever you’re with her. Just think about it, yeah?”

“Yeah,” Christen agrees quietly, Alex rubbing her on the back one last time as the conversation closes.

///

“Hello? Tobs?”

“Tell me I’m being crazy.”

“What?” Servando asks, voice showing some concern. 

“I’m being a weirdo and I’m on my way to Christen’s and I haven’t told her or even talked to her at all. Tell me I’m crazy and I should go back home.”

“Tobin, what the hell?” Servando laughs. “You’re really calling me about whether or not you should go talk to her? We just had this discussion at work, dude.”

“No, I know. But- I haven’t warned her or anything and I’m just showing up unannounced. Hell, I don’t even know where she lives. I just think I’m in the right area.”

“You’re wild.”

“Probably,” Tobin admits. 

“Just reach out and let her know you’re around and leave it up to her, T. I mean it’s not like you can just show up at her door if you don’t even know where it is.” 

“Right,” Tobin says through an exhale. “Is this weird of me? I could have just called or texted or just asked to meet up and if she rejected me, then so be it… Right?”

“T, just go get your girl. You’re already there, dude. I mean, this is some dumbass rom-com shit but I guess girls dig that.”

Tobin lets out a laugh at his words. “You trynna call me cheesy, dude?”

“Tobs, you are literally the cheesiest person I know. Now hang up, text Christen, and go use your cheese on someone else.”

“It’s not weird?” She asks once more.

“Maybe a little dramatic,” Servando teases, “but no, Tobin. You’re not being weird. Just go,” he encourages.

“Got it. Just dramatic is all,” she repeats, laughing at how stupid she sounds. “Thanks, Serv. Sorry to bother.”

“No bother, T. Hope it all works out.”

“Yeah,” Tobin says quietly. “Me too.”

///

Christen has stared at her computer screen for far too long in one day, her drafted document of the assignment glowing in front of her eyes, both taunting and torturing. She has very brief summaries of their dates written down, but no actual substance regarding how to fall in love in ten days. At work, she stared at her screen for hours upon hours, trying to type something that would move her along, changing tabs quickly when Kate walked by at one point asking how the piece was coming together.

Now, she sits in the baggiest t-shirt and sweatpants she owns, hair thrown into a bun atop her head, glasses perched on the bridge of her nose, legs criss-crossed on her couch as her computer sits in her lap, and fingers refusing to push any keys. 

Ali had excused herself to her room after realizing that Christen should probably be alone if she was going to get any work done. Any other time, peace and quiet would have helped. But this time, nothing seems to be helping Christen write. And for Christen Press, that’s a problem. A _ huge _ problem.

She flips an empty page open in her journal to pen her feelings, hoping actually writing and not just typing will be more producing of substance. 

_ She makes me feel _

She pauses her writing, really trying to consider where this process will take her. She of course wants to be able to choose the topic of her next assignment, meaning she’ll have to give Kate something worthy of that, but she is also stuck in the place of not wanting to let herself really, seriously like Tobin. 

She considers ripping the page out and crumbling it up, until she looks up to the hallway, seeing light glow from the crack in Ali’s bedroom door. 

Heart before brain. Heart before brain. Heart before brain.

_ Safe. _

_ Beautiful. _

_ Cared for. _

_ Wanted. _

_ Real. _

She pauses to look at her list, exhaling a shaky breath as her throat begins to tighten. 

Those aren’t words that indicate no feelings involved. Those are words that indicate _ all types _of feelings involved. 

_ Tingly. _

_ Breathless. _

_ Stunned. _

_ Needy. _

_ Guilty. _

She stares at the last word for what seems like an eternity, forgetting to lift her pen and only remembering to when she sees a blob of black ink at the bottom of the y that she’s sure has bled into the next few pages.

_ Guilty. _

She crosses it out. She doesn’t want to be, but she’s-

_ Guilty. _

_ Really, really, really fucking guilty. _

Her phone chimes as she writes the last of her words. And if her therapy session with her journal wasn’t enough to make her feel like absolute shit-

**Tobin:** _hey_

**Tobin:** _are you home?_

She wants to run to Ali’s room and ask her what the hell to do. What to say. What to think. But that’s her problem. She needs to do it for herself. Listen to her heart, not her brain.

**Christen:** _Hi. Yeah, I’m home._

Just as she’s about to apologize for walking out the night before and question why Tobin is asking if she’s home, the picture of her kissing Tobin’s cheek in front of the Richard Roger’s Theater sign fills her screen, her speaker blaring her ringtone in her face, the ‘Swipe to Answer Call’ button glistening at her.

Her thumb shakes over her screen before she slides her finger across the bottom of her phone and brings it to her ear. 

“He-hello?”

“_Chris_.”

God, her voice is so soft. So surprised. So-

“Chris?”

“I’m here,” Christen rushes to say. “Sorry. I’m- I’m here.”

Tobin falls silent for a few seconds, the sound of cars driving and honking and people chattering filling Christen’s phone speaker instead of one particular voice. 

“Tobin?”

“I’m here.”

“I… I’m really sorry about last night. I shouldn’t have… I-”

“You’re home?” Tobin cuts her off.

“Uhm, yeah. I am.” Suspicion is obvious through Christen’s tone, like she wants to ask something more.

“Sorry. I didn’t mean to cut you off,” Tobin apologizes. “Uh, I’m sorry if this is weird. Or too much. I guess I do that a lot. I’m too much-”

“You’re not,” Christen interjects.

Tobin clears her throat. “Uhm, anyway, I was gonna say that I’m kind of down the street right now. From your place I mean.” Christen thinks her heart might actually give out at any second. “At least I think I am based on where you told me you live.”

“Oh,” is all she can manage to get out quietly. 

“Yeah,” Tobin says just as softly. “I should have called or texted first. I’m sorry. I’m realizing now that it was probably wrong of me to show up like this. I just- I wanted to talk to you and see you and I kind of just ended up here. I understand if you don’t want to or can’t. I’ll go home-”

“I’ll send you my address,” Christen cuts her off again before she can get another word out.

“Yeah?” Her voice is so small, like it could break if Christen said no. 

_ It’s now or never, Christen. _

“Yeah. We should talk. Come over.”

_ Heart before brain. _

“Okay, uhm, I’ll be right over. If I’m even in the right area,” Tobin mutters, but Christen catches it, giggling quietly to herself for a second before speaking up again.

“Hey, uh, thank you. I’m sorry I didn’t reach out.”

“Yeah,” Tobin whispers, barely audible over the noisy New York streets. “I, uhm, I’ll be right there.”

The line is cut before she can say anything else and she’s left staring at a display of recent calls.

Before she can process what she’s doing, her feet are on the ground running to Ali’s room, shoving the door wide open and halting to a breathless stop.

“Sorry,” Christen mutters at the look of a startled Ali on her bed.

“It’s fine, Chris. You okay?”

She realizes the phone in her hand is still on and she hasn’t sent Tobin her address yet. 

“Yeah,” she breathes out, sending Tobin a pin drop of her current location and her apartment number. “Uh, Tobin just called.”

Ali sits up in her bed quickly. “What? What did she say? Are you guys okay?”

“She’s down the block on her way over. She- she said she wants to talk… and see me.”

Ali’s face softens at Christen’s nervous demeanor. “And you’re okay with that? Talking and seeing her?”

Christen visibly gulps and nods, eyes blinking rapidly as if to hide the slight apprehension in them. 

“Okay,” Ali accepts gently, watching Christen frozen at her doorway for a few seconds before opening her arms up for her best friend to fall into. Christen immediately moves her feet at the sight of Ali offering a hug, practically barreling into it and feeling like a kid receiving a hug from her mother.

_ God bless Alexandra Krieger’s heart. _

“Trust your heart, yeah?” Ali whispers into Christen’s hair, feeling the woman nod hesitantly as she practically cradles her.

“I don’t know why I’m making this such a big deal, Al. It’s literally just a talk,” Christen sighs, sitting up.

Just as Ali’s about to respond that it’s probably because Christen’s feelings run deeper than she thinks they do, the buzzer rings and Christen is taking a deep breath before she getting up. 

She only remembers to clean up her journal and her computer just after she buzzes Tobin in, throwing them into a corner in her room before rushing to the door.

“Hi,” they both breathe out at the same time upon first seeing each other.

Gosh, does Christen feel so silly being this nervous, this shy, this unsure. The only thing that gives her some comfort is that Tobin doesn’t really seem to know what to do with herself either. 

It’s only then that she realizes Tobin isn’t empty handed.

“What, uh, what’s that?” She awkwardly points to the paper bag with water spots on it that Tobin is clutching in one hand.

“Hm?” Tobin looks down at where Christen is pointing. “Oh, this? It’s, uh, it’s just…” she holds the bag up in the air. “Can I come in?”

“Oh! Oh, yeah, of course. Sorry,” Christen rushes to apologizes as she steps aside and lets Tobin in. 

“It’s cool,” Tobin mumbles, stepping past her and standing awkwardly still once she’s inside.

“Uh, the kitchen is this way,” Christen says quietly, leading Tobin to some counter space for whatever is in the bag.

“I saw a store down the road on my way here, so I stopped real quick and uh… well, yeah,” Tobin tries to explain, gesturing for Christen to take the contents out of the bag. “I don’t know if I picked the right one but…”

Christen pulls out a tub of cookies and cream ice cream, a sticky note placed on top of the lid with Tobin’s handwriting scribbled across it. 

_ Let’s break the ice (cream) _

_ I’m sorry for how last night ended. _

_ Tobin. _

There’s no point in trying to stifle her grin, and even if she did try, she’s sure she would fail.

“I, uh, I thought ice cream would be a good way to help us break the ice of the conversation. I don’t know if you like cookies and cream so sorry if I chose wrong.” 

“It’s my favorite,” Christen comforts, smiling up at her through her lashes. “Thank you… For all of this, I mean. For reaching out and coming over and bringing this.”

“Of course,” Tobin says quietly, a shy smile appearing on her lips at the sight of an appreciative and receptive Christen.

“Uh, Ali is here so we can talk in my room if you want?” Christen offers hesitantly, pointing a thumb over her shoulder to the hallway.

“Is that the best idea?” Tobin questions playfully, her eyes widening quickly at the thought of it being too soon to crack that joke. She’s about to apologize, but Christen beats her too it, snorting a laugh through her nose and bringing her hand up to cover her mouth. 

“You’re probably right,” Christen chuckles, Tobin following suit. “The couch?”

The thought of Christen half on top of her and kissing her on the couch the night before crosses Tobin’s mind, and she almost wants to make another joke about it. She looks at the couch, then back to Christen with slightly raised, slightly furrowed eyebrows, and thinking it’s probably best she doesn’t make a joke about it. 

It isn’t missed by Christen, though. The look on Tobin’s face is enough to tell what she was thinking. Her cheeks feel flushed when she lets herself revisit the night before, too, and she almost wants to flirt her way through it. Say something about promising to keeping her hands and lips to herself this time.

She doesn’t.

Tobin nods and walks her way over the couch as Christen scoops them a bowl of ice cream to share, placing the tub in her freezer afterwards. She hands Tobin a spoon, falling onto her couch sideways with a leg tucked beneath her, placing the bowl between them.

They both take a couple of bites without saying anything, sharing shy smiles when they catch each other's eyes.

“So, uh,” Christen starts, “I think since you reached out first, maybe I should be the one to take the next crack at the ice, yeah?” 

Tobin wants to say that she doesn’t have to, but she would honestly like to hear Christen’s perspective of the night before, so she shrugs and nods softly.

“Alright,” Christen takes a deep breath, fiddling with her spoon as she tries to decide what to say first. “I think number one is sorry. It was unfair of me to leave like I did last night without giving us the chance to talk anything through. So I really, truly apologize for that… I feel like shit for it,” she admits quietly.

Tobin gives her a soft smile and a slow blink of her eyes, but doesn’t say anything.

“Second is that, I mean, we might be making this a bigger deal than it should be or actually is, but again, that’s on me for leaving like that. I’ve uh been doing my thinking about last night, and I guess I just want you to know that I still had a really great time beyond how the night ended. I really enjoyed being able to cook for you and just hang out for the evening. I think that when we got a little uh… carried away, or _ I _ did, that was also unfair to you.”

Tobin’s eyebrows furrow again, prompting Christen to continue.

“I… It’s been a while. Since I’ve been… intimate with someone.”

Tobin’s chin tilts up and eyebrows raise in realization.

“And I don’t mean to, like, diminish or undermine my attraction to you,” both of them blush, “but I think maybe that had a little something to do with it. So I’m sorry. For not fully thinking things through and being selfish and walking out.”

Tobin drops her spoon into the bowl with a layer of half melted ice cream at its base. “Thanks, first,” she chuckles, “but I think I also owe you an apology. I kinda brought it up already last night, about being too affectionate and probably coming on too strong. I guess me showing up like this probably doesn’t help my case,” she rubs her hand on the back of her neck guiltily, “but I guess my point is that it’s hard for me to not want to be like that with you. And if it’s too much, I totally get it-”

Christen shakes her head softly, causing Tobin to stop for a second. “It’s not. Really.”

Tobin gives a small smile before continuing. “But I think what you said about it being a while since you’ve been intimate with someone is something I can relate to.”

Christen doesn’t mean to be obvious, but-

“Why do you look so shocked?” Tobin laughs.

“Sorry,” Christen chuckles, “just- you’re so…” Tobin raises a questioning eyebrow. “See, that! That right there! All you did was raise your eyebrow but it just is all so cool or something!” 

Tobin wiggles her eyebrows unevenly and humorously, causing them both to laugh at her goofiness. “That’s ‘so cool’, huh?”

“Whatever,” Christen scoffs, chuckling and rolling her eyes. “I just mean that the way you present yourself is very confident and I’m sure women love that.”

“I don’t give myself away that easily, though,” Tobin reasons.

“Oh, no! I didn’t mean to imply that you like sleep around or anything. Or that there’s anything wrong with that. Just- nevermind.”

“You’re fine, Chris,” Tobin soothes. Christen finds some comfort in the sound of her nickname falling from Tobin’s mouth. “I just meant to say that I can relate to you in that sense. I guess that may explain a bit for how I act around you, too. I… I’m not like that with just anyone, Christen. I think me being so affectionate is my way of trying to show how much I like you, which isn’t for everyone. So I’m sorry if I misled you yesterday, or at all since we’ve met, about what my intentions are. I don’t intend and never intended for you to just be a hookup or a way to fool around or anything along those lines. I like you a lot, Chris. And I’m sorry if I’m too forward with my thoughts or my touchiness and affection and teasing… it’s just hard to help myself around you.”

Christen is slightly caught off guard by the passion in Tobin’s voice as she speaks, her heart thudding because, in some sense, she feels the same way. She just never allowed herself to accept that. It explains why she allowed and relished in Tobin’s affection. Why she found herself reciprocating at times. Why she wants more of it. 

“Who says it’s too much for me?”

It’s a bit more flirty than Christen intends for it to be. Tobin’s mouth opens, tongue pressed into her cheek as she chuckles quietly. It closes, then opens again. “I just wasn’t sure. I don’t mean this in a bad way, but you just don’t seem to initiate anything very often,” Tobin smiles almost sheepishly, hoping she doesn‘t offend Christen. 

“Hey! I do _ too _ !” Christen’s jaw drops and she puts on her best pouty scowl. “I do… _ right _?” The way her eyebrows scrunch up so cutely and she suddenly looks unsure of herself makes Tobin want to just say yes.

A part of her also wants to tease Christen more and say something about always having to ask for her affection, but she stays quiet, being careful of how she approaches the subject. “It’s not that big of a deal, Chris,” she says gently instead, adding a smile to make it more convincing.

“No, you obviously meant something by it,” Christen says, and for a second Tobin is afraid she still said the wrong thing. “I’m not upset by what you said, I promise,” Christen reassures like she knows what Tobin was thinking, “Just… you obviously _ are _ the affectionate type and I’m sorry if I seemed like I didn’t like it or didn’t want to be like that with you.” 

And in that moment, it feels like an even more serious conversation than before. It’s like some sort of commitment without the actual promise said out loud. Some kind of apology for not being enough even when nothing was really owed or expected. Some kind of… something important.

“It’s okay. I mean I didn’t think you hated it but after a while of thinking about it, I thought maybe it wasn’t your thing as much as it is mine,” Tobin responds with a small shrug. 

Christen thinks it may just be a night of guilt for her. The thing is, affection is her thing, maybe not as much as it is Tobin’s, but she was fighting her feelings for Tobin so hard, she didn’t show just how affectionate of a person she could be. As much as she pretended to be annoyed by Tobin’s constant touching and kissing, she wasn’t at all. It gave her butterflies that she couldn’t ignore as much as she tried. And now… now she feels like shit for making Tobin think that she wasn’t on board with it.

“So, um… what now?” Christen asks shyly, not quite ready to admit how much she wants to be affectionate with Tobin out loud yet.

Tobin laughs through her nose, shaking her head and looking away from Christen.

“W-what?” Christen asks nervously, confused as to why Tobin is laughing.

“Nothing… it just sounds like we went through some kind of breakup or something and are trying to figure out ‘where we go from here’,” she says the last part in a mocking voice.

“Oh,” Christen says quietly, “I guess it does. Sorry.” 

Tobin stops laughing, turning to look at Christen who is staring at her hands, fiddling with her rings. “Hey,” she calls, causing Christen to lift her eyes, “Where do you want to go from here?” The corner of her lip quirks up so Christen knows the question is lighthearted, but still sincere. 

It earns a small roll of the eyes and smile from Christen, until she turns serious again, not quite sure of how to answer that considering she only just admitted her feelings to herself. 

“Just forget it happened?”

“Forget it happened?” Tobin asks.

“Well, move past it. We don’t have to forget… unless you want to-”

“Can’t,” Tobin says. 

Christen meets her eyes again, lips just slightly parted as her heartbeat picks up. “Okay.”

Tobin’s lips quirk again for a second before she laughs quietly again. Christen watches her, fighting a smile of her own just at the pure sight of a laughing Tobin. 

“So we’re okay then?” Christen questions as Tobin starts to quiet again. 

Tobin’s lips close slowly as she looks over to Christen again. She’s silent for a fraction of a moment before grabs the bowl of melted ice cream between them, moving it to the coffee table in front of the couch. When she sits back, she opens her arms up, inviting Christen in with a small, slightly tentative smile. 

There isn’t anything Christen can do but smile back, laugh a little, and launch herself into Tobin’s arms, ending up half on her lap.

“You’re not mad at me anymore then?” Christen asks against Tobin’s shoulder.

“What? You thought I was mad?” Tobin asks, wanting to pull back to see Christen’s face but not quite ready to let go. She feels Christen shrug in her arms. 

“I walked out,” Christen says, not separating herself from Tobin, “You had reason to be.”

“I wasn’t mad,” Tobin speaks quietly into Christen’s hair as she hugs the girl very similarly to how Ali did earlier.

Christen nods softly against her, holding her just a little tighter before placing a kiss to the cloth that covers the skin of Tobin’s shoulder. 

Tobin pulls back abruptly, holding Christen by her upper arms, her eyebrows furrowed. “Was that a kiss, Christen?” she asks playfully. 

“No. I don’t initiate anything, remember?” Christen sasses, a smile growing onto her face the same as Tobin’s. 

Tobin rolls her eyes hard, throwing her head back against the back of the couch and letting her arms fall to her sides. Christen giggles, cupping her hands around Tobin’s neck and pulling her head back up.

“I’m just playing,” Christen whispers, letting her eyes flick around Tobin’s face.

“What?” Tobin whispers back after a few seconds of Christen staring at her. 

“Nothing,” Christen smiles.

“No, you obviously meant something,” Tobin says, teasing her by using her own words against her in return.

Christen laughs, breath hitting Tobin’s face before she shoves her shoulder. “Touché.”

“What did you mean?” Tobin asks quietly, circling her arms around Christen’s waist and just barely pulling her a little further onto her lap.

“Nothing! Really,” Christen defends. “Just glad you came by.”

God, Tobin wants to kiss her so bad. 

As if Christen keeps reading her mind, she leans in and places the lightest kiss just outside the corner of Tobin’s lips, lingering, staying close by when her lips part from the skin. 

“That was a kiss,” Tobin whispers, not moving her body an inch.

“It was,” Christen replies quickly, just as quietly, pulling back only enough to meet Tobin’s eyes.

“That’s two now.”

Christen kisses her cheek, saying, “Three,” when she pulls back.

“Maybe I should call you Kissten,” Tobin whispers again.

If she wasn’t cute enough already-

It’s all it takes for Christen to finally kiss her. She’s gentle at first, barely brushing their lips before fully taking them between hers and giving her a real kiss. It’s slow and patient and everything they both need. Neither of them lets it get too far, pulling away slowly, a little breathless. Like it was a first kiss all over again. 

“Maybe you should,” Christen finally says, smiling wide as she brings her hand to cup Tobin’s cheek and pulls her in for another. 

Tobin smiles into it, giving in for a few moments but ultimately pulling away from Chrsiten’s chasing lips. “Ali’s here.”

“She’s in her room,” Christen says, moving to kiss her again. 

Tobin gives Christen her cheek, laughing when Christen’s body slumps against hers heavily and the lips stay connected with her cheek.

“How awkward would it be if she walked out with us like this? And I’m sure she doesn’t want to be holed up in her room all night.”

Christen sits upright, pouting just the slightest bit. “I just wanna spend a little time with you.”

Tobin bites her lip in a smile. She grabs Christen’s hand, bringing it up to her lips to place a quick peck on the face of it. “I can hang out for a bit.” 

“But…” Christen starts.

“Hm?” 

She shakes her head at Tobin’s questioning hum. “Nothing.”

“Again with that?” Tobin laughs. “What were you gonna say?” 

Tobin’s thumb runs over her knuckles as she waits for an answer. Christen thinks about whether or not she should say what she wants to, but with Ali in her head,_ heart before brain _ practically screams right at her.

“Can’t kiss you like I want to out here,” she mumbles, eyes on their conjoined hands.

“Hm?”

_ Heart before brain. _

She moves closer to Tobin’s ear. “Can’t kiss you like I want to out here,” she repeats.

“How do you want to kiss me?” Tobin challenges and-

She wasn’t expecting that. 

“Like I don’t have to worry about Ali walking out and making fun of me,” she says, eyes not leaving Tobin’s. “We can go to my room. But not like… not like that. I promise I won’t go there again,” she laughs, Tobin following along. 

“You confuse me a little bit,” Tobin admits, hand still holding Christen’s, eyes a little softer than before. 

“What do you mean?”

“I don’t know,” Tobin shrugs, “You just- you kinda freaked out last night and now you’re inviting me into your room.”

Christen sighs, readjusting herself into a more comfortable position. “Sorry. I didn’t mean it like that. I don’t think I’m even quite ready to be intimate again right now - if that’s okay?” Tobin nods, squeezing her hand. “I just wanted to be able to have a little alone time with you where I wont get a face from Ali if she walks out here to even just us cuddling or something. But if you’d rather stay out here, I’ll take that too if it means you’ll stay for a bit.”

It’s definitely a change. Tobin wasn’t quite expecting Christen to be so upfront or open about wanting to spend time with her, much less _ alone _ time with her.

“If you can keep your hands outside my shirt this time, we can go to your room,” Tobin smirks after a few contemplative moments. 

“Ooooh!” Christen laughs. “You’ve got jokes!” 

Tobin laughs along, keeping a strong hold on Christen’s hand as she tries to pull away.

Christen gives up on trying to get her hand back, but leans in to kiss Tobin’s lips just barely, and then whispers, “Keep the ‘babe’ to yourself too, then,” against them before getting up and pulling Tobin along.

She leaves the door just barely cracked open and sends Ali a text so she doesn’t get any ideas. 

**Christen** : _ Tobin is gonna hang out for a bit. We came to my room so you don’t have to hunker down in your room lol _

**Ali** : _ Oh how very considerate of you…. _

Ali adds the eye emojis to the message and Christen thinks that there was no point in even trying.

**Christen** : _ Stop. We’re just gonna hang out. _

**Ali** : _ Lol got it. So everything is all good now? _

**Christen** : _ Yeah, we worked it out. _

**Ali** : _ Good. Enjoy your night, sis! _

Christen says her thanks and sets her alarms before putting her phone away and turning her attention back to Tobin. 

“You want comfier clothes?” 

“Are you trying to get me undressed, Christen?” Tobin teases, walking up to her to wrap her in a hug. 

“You suck,” Christen mutters into Tobin’s hoodie, making her laugh.

“I’m kidding. Maybe just some shorts or leggings if you have some?” She would already be comfortable, but her jeans were a bit in the way of letting that happen.

“Of course,” Christen says, kissing her jaw before moving to dig through her drawers. It earns a smile from Tobin. The fact that she’s being a lot more affectionate already doesn’t go missed.

“Bathroom is first door to your left out in the hall,” Christen says, handing her the leggings and earning a kiss on the cheek of her own before Tobin is out the door. 

When she returns, it’s been longer than it should have taken to change pants and she’s laughing to herself as Christen sits on the bed, scrolling in search of something to watch.

“Guess who I just met?” 

Christen’s eyes widen. “Oh, shit. I’m sorry,” she laughs. “I should have just introduced you guys. I didn’t even think about that happening.”

“It’s fine,” Tobin chuckles, settling herself down next to Christen. “She was going back to her room as I was leaving the restroom and we kinda just ran into each other. I like her, though. She’s nice.”

“Yeah?” Christen asks, half relieved that Ali didn’t seem to do any teasing and half relieved that Tobin liked her.

“I mean I didn’t talk to her very much, but yeah,” she smiles.

Christen smiles back before putting a movie on, pulling a throw blanket over them, and nuzzling up against Tobin’s side.

They share kisses throughout the movie, getting a little more than distracted every now and again, but also being very aware of themselves when they do. After some time, Christen settles herself against Tobin’s chest, running her fingertips in lazy patterns along Tobin’s hip as Tobin runs her own fingers softly into her now down hair. 

Tobin knows she should get up and go at some point…

But some point doesn’t come until morning when Christen’s alarm goes off and they’re both woken up.

“Oh shit,” Tobin whispers groggily as she realizes where she is and what’s happening. 

Christen, slow to wake up and detach herself from Tobin’s body, doesn’t realize it until a few moments later as she sees Tobin scrambling out of the bed and moving to grab her jeans. 

“Chris, I’m _ so _ sorry. I didn’t mean to fall asleep here. I promise.”

Christen lets out a heavy sigh, wishing the universe would just give her one uneventful day. “It’s fine, Tobs,” she says as she gets out of bed. “Are you late for work?” 

“I don’t even know,” Tobin rushes to grab her phone. “Shit. I’m not gonna have time to go home to change. Servando is gonna have a ball with this one.”

“Hey, it’s fine. Go into my closet and take whatever you want, okay? I’ll get a toothbrush for you,” Christen tries to appease her. 

Tobin nods rapidly, heading straight to Christen’s closet to look for something that might be her style. 

She ends up choosing a flannel to go over the white t-shirt she had worn under her hoodie, taking a pair of jeans while she’s at it. 

By the time she’s finished brushing her teeth, Christen is saying she has to hurry and shower before she’s late, leaving her with a kiss that she seemed almost hesitant to give before the door is closed and Tobin is making her way out of the apartment. 

Once Tobin is out on the busy New York street, she sighs, runs a hand over her face and then through her hair, and then mutters, “Fuck.”


	6. tell me a secret

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> christen can't keep going on like this, and her friends will make damn sure of it. tobin has no idea what to think, all she knows is she's in deep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey y'all!!! it's been so so long since I've updated this! I can't apologize enough, but school has kept me tied up and I had to rush home and move out of school because of COVID. now, im still trying to get a handle on online school, but I was finally able to get this done for you all. 
> 
> as always, enjoy and feel free to leave me comments or asks on my Tumblr @ chrvstenpress.tumblr.com !  
Thanks for reading!

She didn’t mean for it to happen. They were meant to watch a movie and Tobin was meant to leave right after. Now, Christen thinks moving to her room, lending Tobin clothes, and getting comfortable on her bed couldn’t have ended in anything _ but _ them both falling asleep and Tobin spending the night. 

She feels stupid for it even though she knows it shouldn’t be that big of a deal. It was a simple accident. 

An accident. That’s all.

But they’d known each other for a whole six days, if they even count that Friday night they met as a whole day, and Christen only really lets anyone sleep over when she knows they’re in it for the long run. And this - whatever the hell she’s doing with Tobin - sure as hell did not feel like the long run at the moment and she can’t blame anyone but herself for that.

Then Tobin freaked out and Christen didn’t know _ what _ to make of that, certainly not helping with how stupid she felt. She had tried to comfort her as best as she could without making it a whole thing, but then she practically rushed Tobin out with the excuse that she had to shower, barely kissing her or even saying bye and it felt like they had taken five steps forward only to end up back where they were before and it was a whole thing again. 

And then there’s the damn cherry on top:

They only make it onto the subway for a whole minute before Ali brings it up. 

“So… I saw Tobin leave this morning.” It comes with a barely raised eyebrow and a pause in search of a response; it doesn’t come. “You let her spend the night then?”

Christen lets out a sigh, only turning her head just enough to be able to see Ali standing next to her and it ends up looking like a side-eye. “We fell asleep during the movie. It was an accident.” 

Ali only lets out a hum in response, giving a slow, single nod along with it. 

The silence between them lasts only until the next stop on the subway before Christen’s asking, “What?” in a tone that says she knows Ali has more to say. 

“Nothing,” Ali defends, both eyebrows raised now and eyes not quite meeting Christen’s.

“No, Al. What?”

“_Nothing_, Chris. It just stood out to me that she spent the night and you don't really let anyone do that.”

“I know I don’t. Which is why I said it was an accident, because it was. It’s not like we did anything.”

“I’m not saying you did,” Ali clarifies gently, “It’s just… in all the years I’ve known you, Christen, you’ve never been one to let even accidents happen when it comes to this. I’m not saying it’s a bad thing. You say all she did was sleep over, and that’s fine. I believe you. I’m just saying that it’s not like you,” she explains before quietly adding, “None of this has really been like you, Chris.”

They turn silent again and all that’s left to surround them is the reeling of the subway and the chatter of its riders. 

Christen hates how right Ali is. She was guilty enough the night before, but then Ali had comforted her and Tobin had come over and she forgot about it. But now-

She was guilty all over again. 

“I like her,” she mutters just as they begin to approach their stop. If Ali hadn’t been standing so close to her, she wouldn’t have heard it. But she does hear it and her head turns to face Christen with sympathetic eyes as Christen’s own eyes do everything to avoid her. 

“Chris,” Ali says gently just as they pull up to the platform. 

Christen meets her gaze slowly just before they have to walk off, but as soon as their feet hit the platform, Ali is right by her side to comfort her, hooking their arms together, and squeezing tight. 

Christen has to will herself not to cry, because even when Ali tells her like it is, she’s there to support her just as much and she couldn’t be more thankful for her best friend. 

They walk like that all the way to their building, arms hooked and words unspoken. That is until Ali pulls her into a hug just outside before they walk in, holding her tight for a few seconds before she whispers, “You have to break off the article, Chris. It’s not fair to Tobin if you keep writing it.” 

Christen has to bite her lip and hold her breath to again stop herself from crying, but she nods against Ali’s shoulder nonetheless and pulls away with a sad smile just as Julie and Alex walk up to the building too. 

“Hey, girlies. Everything okay?” Alex questions, looking between the two as they approach. 

Both Christen and Ali nod knowing there’s not enough time to fully explain anything before they have to get through security and upstairs on time. Christen gives both Alex and Julie a quick, small hug hello before walking into the building first. They both turn to look at Ali with questioning glances, only receiving a small shake of the head and a mouthed ‘later’ in response before they all follow Christen through security. 

///

As soon as Tobin took a seat on the train, she immediately put her face into her hands, trying her best not to let out as loud of a groan as she wanted to in the moment. She rode the whole way to work twiddling her thumbs, pulling her phone out of her pocket every couple of minutes to (what she told herself was) check how late she was going to be to work, but she was really in search of a text from Christen. She would push it right back into her pocket when her screen showed no new notifications.

“Uh oh,” Servando says, partially teasing and partially sympathetic as Tobin walks into the office, just past 10 minutes late.

“Shut up,” Tobin groans, plopping heavily into her swivel chair and rushing to turn her computer on. 

“I’m assuming things didn’t go so hot last night?”

She stays silent, the air being filled with the clacking of her keyboard rather than her voice giving him a response. 

He jokingly starts whistling the Jeapordy countdown song to signify he’s going to wait for a response, earning a hard glare from Tobin. But he raises his eyebrows, grins a little, and tilts his head so his ear is facing further toward her in challenge. 

“Nothing happened.”

“Doesn’t seem like nothing.”

“Serv.”

“Tobs.”

“Dude,” she whines, putting her forehead into her hand and leaning her elbow on her desk. 

“Alright, alright. Don’t tell me. Just… you okay?”

She picks her head up to face him, her chest caving in when she lets out a sigh. “I’m fine. I think. Just- I need to throw myself into work and maybe I’ll wanna talk about it at lunch, yeah?”

“It’s all good, dude,” he smiles sympathetically at her. “Sorry I nagged.”

“It’s cool.” 

“Want me to go grab you a coffee?” He offers, noting the way she’s massaging her fingers into her temple and feeling shitty now seeing how stressed she really seems.

“Oh god, _ please _?” She lets out in an exhale.

“You got it. One cream, two sugars?”

“Yeah, dude. You’re the best.”

•

“You ready for lunch, T? If you’re too busy I can bring you a sub back from the place down the street and we can eat here.”

Tobin looks past her computer to see Servando getting up from her desk and reaching for his jacket. She looks back down to her own computer for a second, running her eyes over her work before saying, “Nah, it’s cool. I need a break anyway and I sure as hell am not working through lunch today,” and setting her own computer on sleep mode. 

They walk to their lunch spot in silence. Servando peers over at her a few times, noticing that she never takes her hands out from where they’re stuffed in her pockets and she lets more people than usual bump into her shoulders becuase she’s not paying much attention to her surroundings. 

He bites his tongue until after they’ve ordered that subs and they’re sitting at a table, Tobin repeatedly tapping their order number card on the table and eyes lingering where the ‘pick-up’ counter is.

“You sure you’re good, T? It’s cool if you’re not, you know?”

She finally makes eye contact with him, stopping her tapping but beginning to chew on her lip. 

“I don’t wanna force you to talk about anything, dude. It’s just-”

“You’re fine, bro. I’m sorry I was a bit of an ass earlier.”

He lets out a single chuckle. “I think it was probably me who was the ass this morning.”

“Maybe both of us,” the corner of her lip quirks up and she starts tapping their order number on the table again, this time slower and lazier.

“Yeah,” he laughs, “right.”

They share a stupid grin, Tobin skidding the card over to him quickly, him returing it the same way. 

“I slept over at her place last night.” 

Servando smacks his hand down on the card a little harder than he had been before, looking up to meet Tobin’s gaze. “As in? Slept over or _slept_ _over_?”

“The first one,” Tobin says, knocking her knuckles on the table to get him to slide the card back over.

He squints, eyebrows knitting together as he shoots the card back at her. “Am I supposed to be seeing a problem here?”

Tobin rolls her eyes. “I guess not,” she mutters. “I don’t know. I just don’t know if we were ready for that, considering what happend the night before and all.”

“T, all you did was sleep,” he says to her like she doesn’t understand it. “Right?” She nods and begins to twirl the card around in her fingers, giving up on him playing back with her. “Was it not planned or something?”

She shakes her head this time. “After I hung up with you, I went to her place and we talked and it was good. So good, dude, you don’t even understand. It was like we broke through some sort of wall or something, I don’t know. Next thing I know, I’m waking up in her bed, in her clothes, because I stupidly fell alseep watching a movie with her in her room. I freaked because I felt like I fucked up again, and I think she was fine ‘til she saw how I acted and then she got weird. We couldn’t even say bye properly without it being off again and I felt even shitter when I left.”

“Have you talked to her since?”

Another shake of the head comes from Tobin and a sigh comes from Servando. 

“Dude, it’s been like, what? A week? If even that? Is it really worth it if all this is happening this early on?”

Tobin feels her heart drop into her stomach. She hadn’t even considered breaking things off with Christen. It wasn’t even an option to her. But now, hearing the words from Servando’s mouth, she doesn’t know how to feel. 

“I don’t know, dude,” she groans, running a hand over her face and then through her hair. “I really like her. I don’t even bat an eye at a girl for who knows how long and then she comes around and I’m a goner without even knowing her favorite color.” 

Servando nods his head, understanding that the situation, despite its ups and downs so far, had obviously sparked some change in his friend. In all the years he’d known her, he’d never seen her act like this for anyone.

“Text her then.”

Tobin looks up at him with wide eyes, shaking her head almost frantically. “Dude, no way. I don’t want to seem clingy, especially after just showing up at her place last night without really asking.” 

“Tobs, girls love that shit.”

“She’s not just any girl, dickhead.” 

“Okay, fine. Anyone loves that shit. I know that I would like it if I had a girlfriend and _she_ reached out to _me_ first after a slip up or argument, but it usually has to go the other way for our issues to be solved if we’re being real here.”

Tobin rolls her eyes once more. “What are you saying? I'm not a guy.”

He snorts, “Not what I meant, dumbass. I meant that the least you could do is text her. If you wanna go all in, buy her flowers or something and show up on her door-step to ask her to dinner.” 

Her face twists at the thought of showing up to Christen’s unnanounced again. 

“Why can’t she text me first?”

“You’re the one who fell asleep there and got all weird on her. This is your pile of shit to clean up, T.”

Her face contorts again at his analogy. “Gross.”

“You know what I mean.” 

She nods, bowing her head a little in defeat as their lunches are brought to their table. “I need to tell Ant I don’t want the spot anymore.” 

Servando immediately starts spewing out ‘what?’s and ‘no’s and ‘Tobin?’s. “Dude how are you gonna give something this big up, just like that?” 

Tobin shrugs. “I told you, bro. I can feel how different it is with her. She doesn’t deserve that and I don’t feel comfortable trying to be with her all because I wanted a spot on that team.”

“Dude,” Servando says incredulously, his jaw refusing to shut. “That far? You’re _ that _ far gone?”

She nods. “Would you do the same for Alex if you were in my position?”

He closes his mouth at that. “I guess so.”

“Wouldn’t it make you feel like shit if you ended up in a real relationship with her and got the spot on the team in the end? Like you used her or something?”

He nods earnestly after a moment of thought. “So what? You’re just gonna go tell Ant you don’t want the spot because you’re totally fuckin’ head over heels for that girl you met at the bar?”

“I think me asking him for Hamilton tickets on day three of knowing her was probably telling enough. I won’t be surprised if he sees this coming.”

Servando hums. “Well, T… You’re a better person than most. She’s lucky to have you.”

Tobin gives him a small smile in response. 

_ If she’ll have me. _

///

At some point in the day, Ali is able to let Alex and Julie know that the reason Christen seems even more spaced out than usual is because of Tobin, but doesn’t give any real details. They don’t question it any further, but all three friends keep an extra eye on Christen throughout the day. 

Christen knows she’ll have to ask Kate to meet with her as soon as possible, but she’s been avoiding it at all costs with the excuse of trying to come up with alternative pitches for when the ‘How to Fall in Love in 10 Days’ piece gets thrown. Ali keeps sending her knowing glances all morning and Christen knows she’ll have to just get up and ask for a minute to set up a meeting at some point. 

“Chris,” Ali calls, effectively gaining Christen’s attention and gesturing with her head to behind her.

Just as soon as Christen turns around, she’s met with Kate walking by rather quickly while typing something on her phone, her assistant, Brian, following just behind her. She makes eye contact with Ali once more, recieveing an encouraging smile and head nod, before swiveling in her seat and standing abruptly.

“Uh, Kate?” She stammers, clearing her throat between words.

Kate spins on her heel but doesn’t look up from her phone until she’s finished sending whatever she was typing. “Christen! How’s the piece coming along?”

“Oh, uh… well I was actually hoping to meet with you about it, actually. That is if you can squeeze me in? I know you’re busy but-”

“Of course! Bring in what you’ve got and we’ll go over it tomorrow. Brian will let you know later on today what time to come in.”

Brian visibly and audibly lets out a deep sigh as his lips purse, immediately going to his tablet to find a spot in Kate’s hectic schedule where Christen will fit in. 

“Yeah, yeah, of course. Thank you,” Christen rushes to say, knowing Kate is a woman with little time on her hands. 

“You got it! I’m excited to read what you’ve got so far!” Kate gives her a smile with a raised eyebrow and point as she walks away.

“Yeah,” Christen mutters to herself as she turns back to her desk, “Truly my best work.” She’s met with three pairs of careful eyes, all of them following her as she sits back in her seat and sighs. Without her knowing, all three of the girls share a look and get out of their chairs at the same time. Before she can even type another word onto her page, Julie is dragging Christen up and out of her chair by her arm with the assistance of Alex.

“You guys, what the hell?”

Julie shushes her, dragging her by the hand behind Ali in the direction of the office kitchen. 

“I have so much work to do, you guys. You heard her. She expects me to have something interesting for her by the time I meet with-”

“You can work after,” Julie says, sitting her down onto a stool in front of the counter. “Right now, you need to get whatever the hell is bubbling up in there,” she pokes her index finger into Christen’s chest, “out. So go. We’re listening.” 

Her three friends stand before her from her spot seated in the stool she was shoved onto. 

“What do you want me to say?”

Ali sighs heavily. “Babes, work with us here. We can’t stand seeing you like this.”

“Like what?” She mumbles, cowarding down into her seat a little. 

“Chris,” Alex starts gently, “you _ know _.”

Her eyes sting almost as much as her heart does. She knows that her friends are doing this for her. She’s not even angry about it. She may be a bit overwhelmed, but she knows that this was needed. She’s tired. She’s anxious. She’s angry at herself for feeling stupid over nothing. She’s guilty as all hell-

“Can I just have a hug, please?” Christen chokes out in a whisper, eyes glossy and bottom lip beginning to quiver. 

All three of her friends rush over to her, wrapping her up in a group hug that instantly makes her feel a sense of home and safetly. 

“I didn’t mean to catch feelings for her,” she whispers out, tears falling down her face but being dabbed away immediately by a hand holding a napkin.

“We know.”

“I feel like shit,” she practically chokes out again. “Why the fuck did I ever think that was okay?” 

She’s shushed by one of her friends; she isn’t sure which one. 

“I don’t know what to do.”

“Tell Kate you can’t write the article anymore,” Alex suggests.

Christen nods, sniffling and taking another napking from Julie’s hand. “That’s why I asked to meet with her tomorrow. I can’t write it anymore. It’s just not right.” The three friends nod in agreement. “I have no idea what the hell to do about Tobin, though.” 

“What do you mean?” Julie asks, both she and Alex still unaware of the morning’s mishap.

“She spent the night,” Christen admits quietly after a second. Julie and Alex both let out quiet gasps, Ali rolling her eyes at them.

“Christen, who _ are _ you?” Alex tries to make a joke of how much Christen has changed, instantly realizing it was a mistake when another tear falls from Christen’s eyes and she whispers out an “I don’t know.”

“Hey, no. I’m sorry. Don’t cry, C,” Alex rushes to comfort her. 

“What happened, Chris?” Julie whispers in question. “Help us understand a little.”

Christen shakes her head, squeezing Ali’s hand as if silently asking her to explain for her.

Ali squeezes back, running her thumb back and forth on her hand a few times. “Nothing horrible,” she tells the other two. “Tobin came over to talk and ended up falling asleep with Chris in her room by accident.”

Christen takes a deep breath in, exhaling in a watery laugh. The three friends turn to her with confused expressions, looking between each other, trying to understand what they missed. 

“God,” Christen laughs, pinching the bridge of her nose, “I’m so stupid.” 

“Hey, now. You are not stupid, Christen.”

“I’m crying over a girl spending the night in my bed,” she speaks through her laugh. “Who even does that?”

Ali, Julie, and Alex all crack smiles at her, letting themselves laugh a little too. 

“_Yeah_, Christen. What the fuck is wrong with you?” Julie jokingly teases her, shoving her shoulder lightly before pulling her back into her chest for another hug. 

“Everything,” Christen groans dramatically, still laughing.

“It’s okay,” Alex squeezes her knee. 

“You’ve been through a lot in the last week, C. It’s okay to cry,” Ali soothes her as Julie rubs her shoulder gently. 

Christen nods, wiping the last of her tears away and offering a small smile. “What do I do? With Tobin, I mean.” 

“I think, first, you should just make sure you guys are okay,” Ali says, “She looked a little… I don’t know, worried or something when she left. Then just take it one step at a time.”

Christen pouts a little knowing that the way she had said goodbye was probably the reason for that. “Okay,” she agrees. “I’ll send her a text after work. I just really need to focus on getting everything prepared for when I meet with Kate tomorrow.”

Her friends nod, pulling her in for one more group hug.

“Thank you. I love you guys,” Christen whispers, trying to squeeze the tighter. She recieves a ‘love you more’ from Alex, a kiss on the head from Julie, and a wink from Ali.

“We got you, always, C,” Ali says, “Now go to the bathroom and I’ll be right there with your purse because your mascara needs to be fixed.”

The group lets out a laugh as Ali defends the need for mascara, shooing Christen toward the bathroom as one of their coworkers walks into the office kitchen.

///

“You’re joking.”

“I’m not,” Tobin shakes her head seriously. “I can’t take the Broadway team spot. It’s not right. Thank you, though, for the opportunity. I really appreciate it. Maybe this way I’ll be able to rightfully earn my spot on a team like that.”

Anthony lets out a laugh, closing his eyes before looking back at Tobin with his jaw slightly slacked. “Tobin… I love you, you know that?”

Her ears turn a little read and her eyebrows scrunch together. “I, uh- you too?”

“T, you were probably going to get the spot regardless. I really was still talking to try to get you on with us but there weren’t any doubts in my mind that I would be able to convince them to let you on. The whole ‘find a chick’ thing was more for you than anything.”

Tobin’s jaw hangs open, closes as she blinks a few times, then opens again as she tries to find her words. “What- what are you talking about, Ant?”

“I know you heard me, Tobin.”

“I can’t- I still can’t accept it, dude. I-”

“Tobin,” he says, leaning forwards and locking eyes with her, “The little deal I made you really had nothing to do with the job. Don’t worry about it, okay?” 

“Anthony, I really can’t.”

“Don’t go ‘Anthony-ing’ me,” he pretends to scold her. “You wanna head up to the main guy and tell him why you can’t take the spot? Cause I’m sure as hell not going to.”

Tobin gulps, her throat feeling a little dry. “N-no. I got it.”

“Good,” her team leader grins at her. “You deserve it.”

She nods, wiping her hand on her jeans- Christen’s jeans.

“You deserve the girl too, T. I can tell you’ve been happy and it was nice of you to want to give this up for her.”

“Yeah,” she nods again, “uh, thanks.” 

“You got it. Do me a favor and send Serv in here when you head back out? I’ve got a bit of good news for him too, if you know what I mean,” he smirks.

“He’s on the team too?” Tobin asks, eyes widening. 

Anthony nods, grin growing wider as he does. “Go call him so I don’t have to keep it a secret anymore.”

“Yeah,” she can’t help but laugh a bit. “Thanks again, man.”

“My pleasure, T.”

A few minutes later, just as Tobin is about to type out a text to Christen, Servando is running up to her desk, slapping a hand on her shoulder and reeling about their positions on the Broadway show team, leaving her phone and the message forgotten.

///

Christen sits at her desk, done with work for the day and waiting for Ali to be finished so they could head home. She holds the bottom of her phone in one hand, tapping the top of it against her thigh nervously as she tries to think of what she can say to Tobin. She’s not sure if she should just start with a ‘hi’ or type a lengthier message apologizing for acting funny that morning. She knows Ali is watching her. She also knows that if she doesn’t start typing soon, Ali’s going to ask her about it. 

“I’ll be in the kitchen waiting. Just let me know when you’re ready, yeah?” She says to Ali, walking past her for some privacy.

Ali lets out a breathy chuckle, typing away and responding, “Sure thing, Chris.”

She types out a ‘Hi’ while she’s still walking, sitting on one of the stools and staring at her screen in thought of whether she should just send the message or keep typing. It takes a whole minute before she realizes she’s not going to decide, and she forces herself right after to just call Tobin and get it over with since she can’t seem to just send a stupid text message. She had too much pride to call and hang up mid-ringing and if forcing herself to talk to Tobin was the only way she would do it, then so be it.

Her heart seems to beat faster every time the line rings, worried that Tobin wouldn’t pick up. She knew the girl was out of work already, Tobin usually going in and getting out earlier than she does, but she allows herself to think that perhaps she had stayed longer today to make up for being late the longer the phone rings. 

“_ Hello? Chris? _”

Christen lets out a small sigh, letting out a small puff of breath. "Hi.”

_ “Uh, hey,” _ Tobin says quietly. _ “What’s up?” _

“Oh, uh-” she stutters, cursing herself in her mind for not thinking of what she might say if Tobin did pick up. “How are you?”

Tobin chuckles, just barely audible._ “Uhm, okay, I guess? How are you?” _

Christen takes a deep breath, considering her words finally before speaking. “Feeling a little stupid, if I’m being honest.”

_ “Stupid? Are you okay?” _

She can’t help but let herself smile a little bit at the worry in Tobin’s voice. “Yeah. I’m okay,” she says, speaking her next words into the phone quietly, “Are _ we _ okay?” 

Tobin is silent for a few short moments, finally understanding why Christen is calling. _ “We do keep leaving off on an odd note, don’t we?” _

Christen hates that the response isn’t the simple ‘yes’ she was looking for that would make moving on so much easier, but she accepts it for what it is. “Yeah,” she agrees, “I’m really sorry about that.”

_ “You don’t have to be sorry, Christen.” _

“But I am,” she follows quickly. “We keep ending our times together on some weird note or another and each time it’s my fault.”

“_Hey, no. I’m the one who fell asleep last night. I should have gone home before it could get to that. I’m sorry._”

“Tobin,” she sighs. “You’re not the one who starts acting weird each time something unplanned happens. I promise I’m not even upset about you spending the night. It was an accident. I’m not even completely sure why I said bye that way. You didn’t deserve that. I know you felt bad and I didn’t help at all.” 

“_Chris, it’s okay-Shit_,” Tobin sighs into the phone this time. “_Hey, uhm, I really don’t mean to cut this conversation short. It’s just that I’m about to miss my train and-_”

“Oh,” Christen says dejectedly at the quick change in topic. “It’s fine. Go catch-”

“_Wait_,” Tobin interjects gently. “_You didn’t let me finish_.”

Christen mutters her apology abashedly. 

“_Can I take you to dinner tonight so we can talk about this later? I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make it seem like I was ending this conversation like that. I promise I want to talk about it and I would walk the whole way home just to talk to you if the chances of getting mugged weren’t so high,_” Tobin rushes out. 

“Oh,” Christen laughs lightly, a small smile making its way to spread on her lips. “Yeah. That sounds good. Go catch your train and text me or something later.”

“_Yeah, of course. I’ll pick you up at your place and bring you your clothes back._”

Christen’s cheeks heat up. “Oh, that’s okay-”

“_No, no, it’s cool. Thanks for that, by the way. But listen, I really gotta go if I wanna-_”

“Yeah, yeah,” Christen says, “Go. Go catch your train. I’ll see you in a bit.” 

“_Yeah_,” Tobin chuckles, breathing a little heavy from the way she’s racing down the stairs into the stop station. “_See you later. Bye, Chris_.”

The line is cut before Christen can get one last ‘bye’ out, but she lets herself smile a little as she locks her phone and makes her way back out into the office. 

“Hey, Al. You ready yet?”

Ali looks up from her phone, seeing Christen walking up with just a bit more pep in her step than before. “Yeah, was just waiting for you. I figured you’d come back when you were finished.” When Christen goes to collect her bag and coat, Ali speaks once more. “So I’m assuming things went well? That was kind of a fast conversation.”

“Oh, yeah, I guess,” Christen tries to downplay it. “She had to go to catch her train but we’re gonna go to dinner later.” 

Ali raises her eyebrows, trying to contain her grin. “That’s good.”

“Yeah,” Christen agrees, smiling a little bit too in response. 

“I’m assuming that’s why you seem so happy?”

Christen hold’s Ali’s gaze for a moment as they walk, cheeks reddening and lower lip tucking itself underneath her top row of teeth. “No.” 

“Uh huh.”

“I’m not!”

“Oh, Christen,” Ali feigns a sigh as she chuckles, both of them walking into the elevator. “It’s okay to let yourself be happy, you know?”

“I know.”

Ali nods. “So you’re happy then? About dinner at least?”

Christen holds her breath for a second, breathing out a “Yeah,” in response. “She was really sweet and didn’t seem too upset.”

“Good,” Ali grins fully. “I’m happy for you too then.”

///

**Tobin:** _Just getting back to my place. I’m just gonna head up and grab some stuff real quick and then I’ll be right over if that’s cool?_

**Tobin:** _I can wait if you need more time, though. No rush._

**Christen: ** _ Hey. I just got off the train but I should be ready by the time you get here. And don’t worry about changing, if you haven’t already. I don’t need the clothes back right this second. _

**Christen: ** _ Unless we’re going somewhere nicer? Should I keep my work clothes on? _

She follows Ali blindly toward their building, watching her phone closely for a response. 

**Tobin:** _No, nothing fancy. I’m sure whatever you’re wearing is great but if you wanna change into something casual that’s cool too. Are you sure, though? I really don’t mind bringing them back to you._

Christen laughs quietly to herself at the vagueness of the dress code that Tobin always seems to exude when asked. 

**Christen:** _Casual clothes it is then. Don’t worry about it, Tobs. It’s no big deal but it’s up to you._

She rolls her eyes at herself for the last part. That whole morning sure as hell didn’t feel like ‘no big deal’.

**Tobin:** _Alright. See you soon._

Her stomach twists a bit at the lack of goofiness that usually comes with Tobin’s texts, but she tells herself she wouldn’t exactly be joking around right now either if she were Tobin. 

By the time she’s up to her room, Tobin is already texting saying she’s on her way and Christen knows she has just about 20 minutes before the girl is at her doorstep. 

She throws on a pair of jeans, a loose-fit sweater, and grabs her coat just as the buzz comes in from Tobin. 

She’s just grabbed her purse and is still stuffing her feet into her sneakers when there’s a knock on the door and she’s opening it just a second later. Tobin smiles with the corner of her mouth, letting a little puff of a laugh out as Christen straightens up, running her hand through her straightened hair and flipping it over to one side. Christen smiles back all the same, maybe just a bit bigger, because Tobin is indeed still wearing her jeans and flannel, having thrown a beanie on top of her head now too. 

“Hi,” Tobin greets quietly, a small smile still playing on her lips, head ducked endearingly, one hand stuffed in deep into the pockets of Christen’s jeans and the other holding a small bouquet of flowers. 

“Hi,” Christen grins back, “You look nice.”

Tobin laughs again, a little louder this time and rolls her eyes a bit. “Yeah, whatever.”

“It’s a very nice flannel,” Christen continues to joke, raising an eyebrow and looking down at it before moving her eyes back up to Tobin’s. 

“Yeah, it is,” Tobin plays along, “It was very expensive. You know, the good material and all is hard to find.” 

Christen giggles a bit, glad that Tobin is in a good enough mood to still joke with her. 

“Oh, uh. These are for you,” Tobin turns sheepish, extending her hand that holds the small bouqiet held together by a ribbon of twine. 

“You’re sweet,” Christen grins, taking them and bringing them up to her nose to sniff. “Let me go put them in some water real quick and then we can go.”

Tobin nods, staying in the doorway until Christen reappers, wiping her damp hands on her jeans and saying, “You ready?”

“Yeah,” Tobin responds, stepping to the side to let Christen walk out of the apartment and shut the door. She walks behind her to the elevator, drumming her thumbs into her hip bones from where her hands are still in the jean pockets. 

“Thanks for, uh, answering earlier,” Christen says after a few moments of silence in the elevator. 

Tobin looks up from where her eyes were trained on the ground. “Why wouldn’t I pick up?”

Christen shrugs, head bowed slightly. “I didn’t know if you were upset or something because of how I acted this morning. Ali kinda mentioned you seemed a little off when you left.”

Tobin exhales heavily, following Christen out of the elevator but catching her hand and turning her back around before she can get too far. She pulls Christen in close, still holding her hand with one of her own and placing her other one just on the curve of the girl’s waist. “I promise I’m not upset. I was just thrown off gaurd waking up here and being late for work. But it’s okay. I wouldn’t have ignored you because of that, okay?”

Christen nods, closing her eyes as Tobin pulls her in for a hug. 

“We can talk about it, or us, more at dinner if you want. But I’m just fine now, okay?” 

Christen nods once more against her neck, breathing in heavily and squeezing Tobin just a tad tighter before pulling back slowly. Tobin places a quick kiss to her cheek as she does, giving her a closed-lipped smile when their eyes meet again before leading her out of the building by hand.

It takes everything in Christen not to tug _ her _ back around for a real kiss. 

///

They make small talk as they search for somewhere to eat, even joking around and laughing every so often. Tobin never lets go of her hand. Christen never dares to either. 

They settle on Greek food, Tobin swearing up and down that the place they chose has a great rep. She orders for them when the waiter comes, Christen having no idea what to order or what she would like and telling Tobin to choose for her. They’re quiet in the slightly noisy restaurant, Christen letting her eyes wander and having no idea where to start the conversation now and Tobin watching her intently. 

“Why do you still seem upset?”

Christen lets her eyes drift to Tobin finally. She shrugs, biting the corner of her bottom lip. “Still feel bad, I guess.”

Tobin leans onto the table, sticking her hand out in request of Christen’s. “Why?”

“I told you earlier,” she states simply, not making any advances to continue but is forced to when Tobin remains quiet. “Everything just seems to be going well with us and then something happens and I’m the one who gets all weird on you. It’s not even really just about this morning. It’s just… every time it’s happened already, I guess. It’s only been like a week and you’ve been nothing but sweet and respectful and considerate and I just… I don’t know,” she sighs. 

“Are you okay with all this? If you want me to step back for a bit or if I’m overwhelming you or-”

“No, Tobin. Oh gosh, no. You’re not overwhelming me.” 

Tobin raises an eyebrow slightly. “Are you sure? You seem kind of overwhelmed sometimes. I know I can be a lot and I probably move too fast…”

“No, Tobs. Well, yeah, I get a _ little _ overwhelmed and I think that might be why I’ve reacted to certain things the way I have, but I’m starting to realize that I’m only overwhelmed because I like you,” she admits shyly, pausing for a moment as Tobin begins to grin. “I like you a lot and you overwhelm me sometimes, but I think it’s in a good way.” 

“I like you a lot too, Chris,” Tobin smiles, bringing her hand up to kiss over the table. “You promise I’m not too much? I told you before, you can tell me if I am.”

“I promise,” she replies, blinking slowly and rubbing Tobin’s hand with her thumb. “I promise that I’ll try to be better, too. About not freaking out and stuff, I mean. I hate having a great time with you and then ruining it some way or another.”

“Hey, who said anything was ruined?” Christen gives her a _ ‘c’mon’ _ look that makes her laugh. “I’m serious! I still had a great time with you.”

Christen rolls her eyes lightheartedly, looking away for a quick moment before turning back to her. “Well, still. I don’t want to keep doing things that make us have to have these talks all the time.”

“It’s okay. We’re figuring things out as we go, yeah?” Tobin says. “It’s still really early on for us. We still have a lot to learn about each other.”

“Yeah,” Christen agrees, “You’re right.”

“As for me, I think this morning went the way it did for a few reasons. In my head, when I left, I was kinda blaming myself for the way you reacted-”

“What?”

Tobin chuckles a little at the stun in Christen’s voice. 

“I mean, I’m the one who was acting like a worry-wart, apologizing left and right and probably making you think that I didn’t want to spend the night. Well, not that I did want to like _ that _, on accident right after what had just happened the night before, you know? If they were different circumstances, yeah, of course I’d love to spend the night. I just woke up freaked out that you would freak out, then me freaking out ended up being what seemed to have freaked you out in the end? I don’t know,” she sighs, realizing she’s been rambling and rubbing her hand on the back of her neck.

“I get it,” Christen acknowledges softly. “I’ll admit that does seem like what happened. For me, I woke up and you were in a rush already and I thought it was just because you were late for work, but then I woke up a bit more and everything started catching up to me and I wasn’t sure that was the case anymore, so I basically rushed away and awkwardly let you leave without really making sure you knew I wasn’t upset, because I wasn’t even sure that you weren’t upset for some other reason.” They’re silent for a moment, both in their own thoughts until Christen chuckles a bit. “Sorry. I don’t even know if that made sense. You’d think I’d be better with my words, being a writer and all.”

Tobin laughs along with her. “It made sense,” she says, “I think maybe if we had more time and I wasn’t freaking out, rushing to get to work, things wouldn’t have gone that way? We would have been able to talk more? Probably a little calmer too,” she chuckles. “At least I hope so?”

“Yeah,” Christen agrees, laughing as well herself. “Probably.”

“Maybe next time we actually plan it? Not let it come to this?”

“Next time, huh?” Christen smirks, squeezing Tobin’s hand. 

“Only if you want to.”

Christen smiles at the sweetness in Tobin’s voice. “Wanna know a secret?” She asks, only giving Tobin a second to hum in response before she continues. “I don’t really spend the night or let people spend the night until a little further on into things. But yeah, maybe next time,” she explains softly, letting a small, comforting smile linger.

“Shit. I’m sorry, Chris. If I’d known that I wouldn’t even have let myself get comfortable like that last night-”

“Tobin, it’s _ okay_,” she stresses, chuckling a little. “We literally just talked about this. I’m not upset. It was an accident and you couldn’t have known.”

“Sorry,” Tobin dips her head, laughing at herself. 

“Stop saying sorry,” Christen scolds playfully. 

She’s about to apologize again, stopping herself when she sees Christen’s eyebrows raise in warning. “Okay,” she says instead.

“There ya go,” Christen says in approval, nodding once before they both fall into a small fit of laughter.

“But we can agree we both want to really try this? We’re both in this?” Tobin gives her big, hopeful eyes, squeezing her hand just barely when they stop laughing. 

“Yeah,” Christen says, “I’m in this with you. Want this with you. Wanna _ try _ for you,” she confirms with a big smile, Tobin matching it. 

“Good. That makes me really happy.”

“Yeah?” Christen asks with a hint of a smirk, leaning toward the table to be closer to her. Her hand doesn’t let go of Tobin’s and she uses the other one to rest her chin on. “Why does that make you happy?”

“Because,” Tobin whispers, letting her eyes flicker from Christen’s eyes to her lips, “I am kind of, really captivated by you,” she speaks softly eyes moving back up to Christen’s again, “and you somehow just keep on pulling me in further… and I kind of really love it.”

Christen is biting down on her lip hard in a smile, eyes moving back and forth between Tobin’s as they seem to move closer. Tobin brings her free hand up to push some hair behind Christen’s ear gently, letting the back of her finger trail down Christen’s jaw after. Christen lets her hand under her chin fall, Tobin taking the opportunity to hook her finger there and pull her face closer until their lips can barely brush.

“Just kind of?” Christen whispers playfully, nose scrunching a little and breath blowing against Tobin’s lips.

“Kind of _ really _,” Tobin responds in the same tone, letting Christen giggle for a fraction of a second before capturing her lips is a soft kiss. 

///

“Mmmm, okay. How about your favorite dessert?” Christen asks, hand clasped in Tobins, swinging between them as they walk idly down the New York City streets. 

“Oh, that one’s easy,” Tobin says quickly. “My mom bakes a _ ton _ during the holidays but she makes this bread during Christmastime that is my absolute favorite in the world. I don’t even know what it is exactly, to be honest with you,” she laughs. “It’s got like orange and cranberries and nuts and this icing on top. It’s _ divine _.”

“Divine, huh?” Christen giggles, watching the side of Tobiin’s face every now and then as they walk and talk. 

“I know big words too, okay, smarty-pants?” Tobin defends, pretending to be serious with her eyebrows knitted until she smiles so wide, the crinkles at the corners of her eyes appear.

“I believe you, Miss ‘Captivated By You’,” Christen jokes, tuggiing on Tobin’s arm a bit and flashing a teasing smile. 

“Oh, whatever,” Tobin laughs, “I was being serious.”

“I know you were,” Christen softens her tone, leaning her head over and pecking the corner of Tobin’s mouth. “It was cute.”

“Chris,” she whines, pulling her to a stop and looking into her eyes. “I wasn’t trying to be cute. I was trying to be romantic.”

Christen rolls her eyes a bit, bringing her free hand up to cup Tobin’s cheek. “You _ were _ romantic and I _ know _ you were serious, but guess what? You’re still cute.” She grins smugly. 

Tobin blushes, pretending to pout and looking down to the ground as Christen’s hand moves down to the curve where her shoulder meets her neck. “M’not cute.”

“I disagree,” Christen giggles, feeling oh-so-giddy with the way the night is going. She leans in to place a barely-there kiss on Tobin’s bottom lip, Tobin chasing her to kiss her fully. Christen runs her hand down to Tobin’s chest, down her stomach, under her flannel, and finds its place on her warm back over the material of her soft t-shirt. “I like this on you,” she breathes out, breaking their kiss and their hold of each other’s hands to tug on the hem of the flannel.

Tobin laughs against her lips. “Yeah? I’m glad you like it. It was expensive.”

Christen laughs in kind, shoving Tobin gently by her stomach, catching her hand and pulling her back to walk along the sidewalk, falling back into their question session. “Favorite memory you have of your childood?”

“Isn’t it my turn?” Tobin points out, earning a small fake glare from the girl next to her and a muttered “Fine.”

She stops Christen once more on the sidewalk, pulling her until their bodies are presed together. “Tell me another secret,” she references their conversation from dinner. 

“That’s not a question.”

“Tell me another secret, please?”

Christen lets out a breathy laugh, letting her hands settle on Tobin’s biceps. She takes a deep breath in, contemplating how serious of a secret she should spill. 

“You don’t have to-”

“Shh. I’m thinking.”

Tobin laughs quietly, rubbing her thumbs into the small of Christen’s back as she waits. Their silence is filled with the sounds of the streets: rubber car wheels rolling on gravel, people chattering as they walk by, horns honking in the distance-

“I really like being in your arms,” Christen finally admits. “And I think I probably slept the most peacefully I have in a long time being in them last night.” 

They watch each other silently, Tobin trying to read further in Christen’s eyes. She pulls her a little closer, tighter, stronger.

“Why is that a secret?”

“I’m not really good at saying things like that to people,” she explains quietly, “Or at least I haven’t been… not in awhile.”

Tobin leans forward to rest her barely puckered lips on Christen’s forehead, inhaling the scent of her hair for a moment before leaving a kiss on the skin and moving her cheek to rest against the side of Christen’s head, content to just stay like that for a while. In each other’s arms on a semi busy street in the slight chill of an east coast night. 

Christen buries her face into Tobin’s neck after some time, nuzzling her way through until she finds her perfect spot where her nose and cheekbone lay perfectly against the hollow just above Tobin’s collarbone. 

“It’s getting late,” Tobin whispers into the air at some point, still not letting go of the woman in her arms. “Can I walk you home?”

Christen reluctantly pulls her head up, rubbing her hand on Tobin’s back through her shirt. “Tobs, that’s the opposite direction of your place now. I’ll be fine.”

“Chris, it’s late.”

“I’m a big girl.”

Tobin chuckles. “I know you are, but I’d still rather put you in a cab and pay the fee to make sure you’re safe.”

“Noo,” she protests, “that’s too much money. I’ll be fine walking.”

Tobin pulls away from their hold, moves to the edge of the street and starts to hail a cab. 

“_Tobin_,” she groans, “I can pay it.”

“Babe, just let me.”

Christen stops fighting it at the sound of the word ‘babe’ she hears fall from Tobin’s lips for the second time since she’s known her.

A taxi pulls up just alongside them on the street shortly and Christen is wishing she’d just let Tobin walk her home so she wouldn’t have to leave her so soon. Tobin immediately pulls Christen in for a sweet kiss, pulling back and saying, “Let me know when you’re home?”

Christen nods. “You too? Promise you’ll take a cab too?” 

Tobin grins, placing another peck on her lips and nodding. “Promise.” She slips her fingers into the front pocket of Christen’s jeans, the girl’s eyes falling down to watch what she’s doing, seeing a folded green bill slipped right in. “Don’t you dare try to give it back,” Tobin warns with a smile. 

“_Tobin_,” she groans once more.

“Nope. Just let me,” she kisses Christen deeply once more, spinning her around toward the cab and saying, “Night, babe. I’ll see you.” 

Christen grins foolishly, saying her own. “Night, Tobs. See you,” before the taxi door is closed and she’s being asked for an address as she watches Tobin step back onto the sidewalk, stuffing her hands into the pockets of her own jeans.

And, god, she wishes she could just tell her the biggest secret of all.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> let me know your thoughts and how you liked this in the comments or in my asks on Tumblr! I love to hear them and I am always happy to chat about stories.


	7. kinda crazy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Christen meets with Kate. Tobin gets a surprise.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello! I know this chapter still took awhile but it came faster than they usually do! lol. I've had this entire story outlined since before I even began writing it, but of course as the process happens, outlines change. As of now, im looking at somewhere around 14 chapters and an epilogue, but I'm not too sure how much that will change as I continue. I of course don't want to make false promises, but that's what I'm striving for! anyway,
> 
> as always, enjoy and feel free to leave me comments or asks on my Tumblr @ chrvstenpress.tumblr.com !  
Thanks for reading!
> 
> (side note: in case you forgot, Brian is Kate's assistant. it's a short mention but I'd rather you not be confused lol)

  * _How to Impress and Invest Toward a Second Date_
  * _10 Best Tips on How to Succeed in a LDR_
  * _How You Know When It’s Time for Them to Meet Mom_
  * _5 Ways to Start Putting Yourself Back Out There_
  * _How to Know When It’s Time to Let Go_

The list goes on…

“Christen..”

“Kate, I know I promised you this article and I know I said I would do it if it meant choosing new topics to write about in the future but-”

“Christen,” Kate raises her voice in a gentle manner, no anger or frustration in tone. Only enough volume to get Christen to listen. “Have you ever been in a long distance relationship?”

“Well,” Christen stammers, “no, but-”

“Okay. How do you know when it’s time to let go?”

“Well that could be for a lot of reasons-”

“Name one,” Kate challenges. 

Christen’s eyebrows knit togehter slightly and her words catch in her throat under the pressure. 

“I’m sure you can name a few. I know you’re not stupid,” Kate continues, “but that’s beside my point.”

“I- I don’t think I’m understanding…”

“I think you understand me well, Christen. Like I said, I know you’re not stupid.” 

Christen gulps down a whole lot of nothing. “No… I’m not stupid,” she agrees.

“Okay,” Kate smiles softly in agreement. “So what’s all this then?”

“Kate, I can’t do the article. I just…I _ feel _ stupid writing it and it doesn’t seem right and I’ll write any of these or anything else you ask of me if it means moving on from this piece.”

Kate eyes her for a long moment, leaning back into her chair, one arm crossed against her chest and the other with her hand up to her face, a few of her fingers resting lightly on her cheek. 

“Why don’t you tell me what the real issue is.” 

She takes a deep breath, runs her hands along her dress, sets her eyes on the floor for a moment, and then looks up and straight into Kate’s eyes. “When I asked for this assignment, it was completely out of self-interest. You know how much I love and value my job here. I will never be able to thank you enough for giving me the opportunity to do what I do here, but I’ve wanted to explore more. I don’t want to be writing the dating section every issue, especially when I, myself, am not dating. Or, haven’t been dating in a while… Anyway, I realized that it was wrong of me to seek someone out for the sole purpose of trying to get something else out of it; something that is only beneficial to me. Now that I’m halfway through the ten days and I’ve gotten to know Tobin in some sense -that’s her name, Tobin- I don’t want to continue on writing this article if I just randomly scoped her out with questionable intentions.”

Kate is quiet for another moment, looking over the list and the small amount of absolute shit writing that Christen supplied her as a sorry excuse for a draft of the How to Fall in Love in Ten Days article. 

“Can I be honest with you?” Kate finally asks, not looking up for a few seconds.

“I’d hope that you would only ever be honest with me.”

Her boss lets out a small chuckle as she finally looks up at her. “I knew about your plan all along.” 

Christen eyebrows furrow deep together and she blinks a few times as if not fully understanding what Kate said. 

“Brian was nearby when you told Ali, Julie, and Alex about your plan to not actually try to fall in love. That you would pick someone, do everything possible to not fall in love, and then write a conclusion to our readers that it’s not possible to fall in love in ten days.” 

“Kate, I... ” Christen whispers out. “I’m so sorry.”

“Like I said, I know you’re not stupid.”

Christen knows exactly what she means. She’s not stupid. She knows now that it was wrong to dive head first into an assignment like this with her intentions clouded by selfishness. She knew it all along, but she so badly wanted to just write something she really cared about. She wanted to like what she wrote. She wanted to be interested in it. She wanted to value and love the process like she knew was possible. 

“I shouldn’t have…” Christen clears her throat and pushes back her burning tears. “I should have known better. I _ did _ know better. I’m sorry. I can’t explain how sorry I am.” One hot tear falls onto her cheek and she pushes it away as fast as she can. Kate stands from her seat at her desk, grabbing a tissue as she does and sits by Christen on the small sofa in her office. “Thank you,” Christen whispers, immediately dabbing at her eyes. “I’m sorry. I don’t know why I’m crying.”

“Sure you do,” Kate says, pulling her into a side hug for a second, then grabbing Christen’s free hand in one of her own and giving it a small squeeze. “Why don’t you tell me why.”

Christen has always been thankful for Kate. She was the Editor in Chief of one of the most popular magazines in the world and she was a complete hardass when she needed to be, but she was always a human and a woman before the title. But still, a small part of her hates letting herself cry in front of her boss like she’s some sort of therapist for her. 

“I’m not mad. Confused, sure. But I’m not mad, Christen. Just tell me why.”

She feels her breath leave her nose in a relieved sigh involuntarily. “I’m tired.”

Kate blinks once, slowly, as a small sad smile spreads on her lips. 

“I just don’t know what I was thinking. I was frustrated with where I was in writing here and completely changed who I was instead of changing how I lived.”

“What do you mean by that?”

“I mean, you know I’m not exactly thrilled to be writing in the dating section every issue,” Christen says with a nervous laugh, recieving a nod and a small chuckle in response, “I think that I was willing to completely change who I was in order to get my pick at my assignment for the next issue. I was willing to get involved with someone romantically without a care for their feelings, or even mine if I’m honest. I was rude and a total bitch to my best friends. I was willing to lie,” she lists off. “Instead I could have been looking at the ‘how’s in my life. _ How _ I could be a better writer. _ How _ I could be a better person. _ How _ I could be deserving of writing a peice I so deeply desired to write.” She takes a deep breath before her last statement, hoping to the universe that her voice would make it through. “How I could be the kind of person that deserves to be loved the way I want to be loved.” 

The tears begin to flow again and before she knows it, Kate is grabbing another tissue and wiping them for her. 

“Christen, you deserve love. You don’t need to be a perfect person to deserve love. None of us would be deserving of it if that were the case.”

Christen nods in understanding, letting her tears be wiped and her hair pushed out of her face.

“You are so smart and so beautiful. I know you’re a good person, Christen. That’s why you’re here right now,” she says firmly. “What’s really happened with…” she asks in the form of a question, drifiting off in search of a name. 

“Tobin,” Christen supplies with a watery chuckle.

“Tobin,” Kate repeats. “I’m assuming there’s more to it with her than what you gave me in that draft?”

Christen nods. “Uh, we’ve actually already had a few… mishaps I guess you could say.”

Kate raises an eyebrow in question. 

“I was trying to keep myself from actually developing feelings for her, which obviously didn’t work,” she lets out a bit of an incredulous laugh. “I just read things wrong one night and assumed she was looking for something… _ more _.”

“Sex,” Kate supplies bluntly.

“Sex,” Christen laughs as her cheeks heat up, feeling like a teenager talking to her mother. 

“And she wasn’t,” Kate finishes for her, Christen nodding in confirmation. 

“I freaked out thinking I messed it all up and went too far when she stopped us and I left with the excuse of having work the next morning. So she got worried that she scared me off because she’s really big on affection and I guess I wasn’t very good at reciprocating it without her having to… I guess request it. Meanwhile I’m processing my attraction to her and trying to accept the fact that I _ do _ like her. Anyway, she came over and we talked through things and agreed we both aren’t ready for sexual intamcy right now… but then she fell asleep with me at my place and we both freaked out the next morning- yesterday morning.”

Kate lets out a breathy chuckle, bringing her hand up to her forehead at how messy the last few days had seemed for Christen. 

“Yeah,” Christen agrees as if to say ‘I know right’, laughing along with her boss. “It wasn’t even a big deal. Or it shouldn’t have been, anyway. We were just watching a movie after we talked and we both fell asleep until morning. She was running late for work and I kinda rushed her out of my apartment because I thought things were just a complete disaster.”

“Oh, dear,” Kate sighs in a semi-amused tone. “I’m hoping you’ve talked since then?”

“Yeah,” she nods, “We went to dinner and talked things through… again,” she laughs. “I think we’re actually on the same page now. At least it feels like it.” There may as well be a twinkle in her eye to match the grin she gives Kate. 

Her boss smiles back at her in kind, squeezing her hand once more. “Good. I’m glad things are working out for you.”

“Yeah,” Christen nods softly, “me too.”

“So you don’t want to move forward with this piece because you’re scared or because you feel like you’re using her?” 

Christen hadn’t even considered the former until now. She sure as all hell was scared. Feelings are never not intimidating, but she didn’t consider being scared of writing it. 

“Both, maybe… All I know is that I’ve had this heavy sense of guilt and I haven’t been able to shake it.”

Kate nods in understanding, leaning back into the sofa in thought. Christen watches her carefully, trying to keep her fingers from tearing at the tissue in her hand and her heart from beating out of her chest from her nerves. 

“I’m not going to lie, I was kind of excited to see what you would do with your original pitch,” Kate chuckles, “I myself wasn’t sure that falling in love in ten days was possible, but I was excited to see you try.” Christen’s ears burn as she turns sheepish and silent. “Do you want to know why I keep assigning you to the dating section?”

Christen lets out a quiet, “Why?”

“Because,” Kate drawls, “I kept getting the sense that, as much as you could give to it, there was still something you could take from it.”

“My own relationship advice from my non-existent relationship?” Christen can’t help but laugh at the thought.

“No,” Kate shakes her head, trying not to laugh along, “an opportunity of some sort.”

Then, it clicks. 

“Tobin,” she says quietly in revelation.

“Possibly,” her boss adds a noncommital shrug, “If you think she’s the opportunity you need to take, then sure.” 

“Right,” Christen says more to herself than anyone.

“As for the piece…” Kate starts, letting her lips quirk when she sees Christen grimace. “Ah, yes. Work. The lovely thing we’re all here to do.” Christen laughs in reply, her shoulders easing at Kate’s light tone. “What do you think of restructuring it?”

“Restructuring? What do you mean?”

“Re-title it. Re-envision it. Reconsider your place in it.”

“So a whole new piece essentially?”

“No, not exactly,” Kate says, “You’ve already started here. Now, I’m not saying you have to carry on using her to write your piece, since that’s what you’re worried about. I think, rather, write the piece as a journal of some sort. Don’t rush things with her because of the deadline. Don’t overthink anything with her because of the deadline or a story. Just let go. If you want her -if this is the opportunity you want to take- let go. The words will come as they should if you let go.”

“How to Know When It’s Time to Let Go,” Christen makes a half-joke of one of her listed pitches.

“If that’s what you want to title it,” Kate agrees with a chuckle.

“No, no. I was just joking. I mean, maybe-”

“Don’t overthink it, Christen.”

“Just let go,” Christen repeats the words for herself.

“Just let go,” Kate nods proudly. 

///

**Tobin** : _ I know you’re probably busy but just wanted to say I can’t stop thinking about you _

She must smile by instinct because-

“There she goes,” Julie teases as she watches Christen sneak a glance at her phone. 

“Theeere sheee goeesss,” Ali begins to sing.

“Theeere she gooees againnn,” Alex plays along, all of them, including Christen, laughing. 

“Shut up,” she whines, the smile on her face contradicting her complaint. “Alex has been the same way!”

“Chris, you can’t stop smiling,” Alex says gleefully.

“Neither can you!”

“Yeah, but, c’mon,” Alex tilts her head. 

“What does that mean? C’mon what?” 

“You’ve been smiling all day and you haven’t smiled this much in a _ long _ time,” Julie responds.

“I still don’t see how that’s any different than Alex,” Christen chuckles at her friends. 

“Oh, forget about me. I smile too blah blah blah,” Alex dismisses, “Chris, you know what we mean.”

Christen looks past her computer to her friends through her lashes. A small smirk tilts her mouth. “Yeah. So?”

All three of her friends let out something between a groan and a laugh.

“You’re horrible!” Ali complains, her own smile growing wider as she sees just how comfortable Christen is with that lovetruck grin spread thin on her lips. Christen shrugs a bit sassily, even tilting her head to her shoulder as she does. 

“So you’re keeping the article then?” Julie asks.

“Not exactly,” Christen replies. “I mean, yes, I’m somewhat keeping the assignment, but it’s not exactly the same anymore. Kate doesn’t want me to look at it as an assignment from now on. She basically just said to focus on Tobin and let the words come as they will.”

“Smart woman we’ve got for a boss,” Ali muses, all three of the girls agreeing in small sounds. 

“So can we go on a double date yet?” Alex grins devilishly, “I mean, best friends date another pair of best friends. C’mon, Chris. It doesnt get better than this.”

Christen rolls her eyes lighthearteedly at the woman. “Maybe not yet, Lex.”

“That’s not a ‘no,’” her friend drawls in triumph. 

“Hey? What the heck are we? Chopped liver?” Ali asks in regards to herself and Julie.

“Yeah!” Julie agrees, “Now all of us are taken! Quadruple date, girls.”

“I’m not taken,” Christen says, laughing to herself when she sees the unamused look on her friends’ faces. “I’m not! She’s not my girlfriend.”

“Servando isn’t my boyfriend yet either but I’m not interested in anyone else right now. As far as I’m concerned, I’m taken in my mind.”

“Careful there, Lex,” Christen chuckles and jokes, “Don’t want to scare him off.”

“There’s nothing wrong with that! I never said I’m his girlfriend. I just said I’m taken. If another guy comes up to me right now asking me on a date, I’m saying ‘no thanks, sorry.’”

“And you are valid, Lex,” Julie agrees with her, giving her a high five. 

“Anyway,” Ali regroups them, “Group dates…” she directs at Christen, “in the future so you aren’t complaining about being taken or not being taken.”

“I’m not trying to get too ahead of myself,” Christen says softly with careful eyes. 

Ali scoffs a bit. “I spoke to her for a whole of five seconds and I knew she was a goner.”

“Al,” Christen whines, cheeks reddening at the thought of Tobin really being that transparent about liking her.

“Yeah, and we’ve known you for years. I think it’s safe to say you’re a goner too,” Julie supplies.

“Oh god,” Christen shoves her face into her hands, her words coming out in a muffled groan.

“Chris, you deserve it,” Alex says genuinely, giving her a bright smile. “Seriously. I hope you know that.”

“Thanks, Lex.” Christen hums. “I think I’m starting to believe it,” she whispers to herself before pulling her phone back out. 

**Christen** : _ Back at you, charmer. Is it weird to say I miss you? _

She goes to shove her phone back off to the side in attempts to continue working, but a quiet ding comes from the device before she can. 

**Tobin**: Not at all. I probably miss you more. 

Christen rolls her eyes to herself at the message, smiling as she types her reply. 

**Christen** : _ It’s not a competition. Go back to work ;) _

///

“Hey, Al, I think I’m gonna head over to Tobin’s straight from here today so you don’t have to wait up for me.” 

Ali looks up from her desk. “Okay, that’s cool. I didn’t know you guys had plans today.”

Christen hums for a moment, finishing what she’s typing before replying, “We don’t,” quietly.

“Miss Press,” Ali laughs in disbelief, “are you _ that _ smitten that you’re going to surprise her because you can’t go a day without seeing her?” 

Christen has to be thankful that Julie and Alex had left for home a few moments earlier so that they couldn’t egg Ali on.

“What’s wrong with wanting to see her?” Christen shrugs sheepishly. 

Ali gets up from her seat after shutting her computer off and walks over to Christen’s desk to say goodbye. “Absolutely nothing, babes,” she gives Christen a friendly kiss on the cheek in farewell. “Have a good night with your girl.” 

“She’s not my girl,” Christen calls after her as she walks away. 

“Oh, she’s _ so _ your girl,” Ali calls back over her shoulder, waving her off as she walks out of the office space. 

**Tobin** : _ Why do you have to work later than I do? :( I want to talk to youuu _

Christen ignores the message on purpose, a small grin on her face as she resumes her work until her phone chimes again.

**Tobin** : _ I’m trying really hard not to be annoying and a bother… but you’re usually out by now :( _

Christen chuckles into the air of the nearly empty office, knowing she’s working a bit late and Tobiin has no idea because she won’t reply. 

**Christen** : _ Shhh I’m working. _

**Tobin** : _ Why are you working late? :( _

**Christen** : _ What’s with all the sad faces? _

**Tobin** : _ I miss you :( _

**Tobin** : _ How much longer? _

**Christen** : _ 15 minutes and I'm out of here. 20 tops. _

Christen waits a few moments, expecting Tobin to send another message, but it doesn’t come. At least not until she’s walking out of her building some 30 minutes later and she can’t help but laugh at Tobin’s attempt to be understanding.

**Tobin** : _ Babe it’s been like a half hour. Go homeee! _

Christen’s heart flutters at the term of affection, noting that it seemed Tobin was set on using the name for her now. 

**Christen** : Tobs. _ You are SO impatient, you know that? _

Christen puts her phone away, not bothering to wait for a response before she’s on her way to catch the train to Tobin’s place. She smiles at random people she passes, feeling like her Californian is showing a bit and her New Yorker is fading. Or maybe it’s just that stupid smile her friends made to sure to make her so very aware of. 

By the time that she’s exiting the subway station, she pulls her phone out to check for Tobin’s address, wanting to make sure that she’s heading in the correct direction to Tobin’s place, but she’s met with one more message from Tobin.

**Tobin** : _ Sorry :( _

She laughs to herself, knowing that Tobin is probably a little guilty and embarrassed for having messaged so many times. 

**Christen** : _ So many sad faces!! Think I can help you not be so sad? _

**Tobin** : _ Well now that you’re home and talking to me, I’d say you’ve already helped ;) _

**Christen** : _ I think I can do better. _

**Tobin** : _ Phone call?!? FaceTime?!? _

**Christen** : _ Better. Wanna let me up? ;) _

Christen presses Tobin’s apartment number just after she sends the message, anxiously awaiting the ‘go ahead’ up to Tobin’s apartment. Her phone lights up with the picture of herself kissing Tobin’s cheek in front of the Richard Rogers Theater sign, signaling Tobin’s call.

“Hello?” She chuckles as she answers the phone.

_ “Don’t break my heart and tell me that buzz wasn’t from you.” _

“What? What are you talking about? Not me, Tobs. Sorry.”

_ “Chris,” _ Tobin whines through the phone. 

“You gonna let me in or are you gonna make me stand down here all day?” Christen teases, biting her lip in attempts of controlling her smile. 

Tobin lets out a little sigh on the other end, her breath sounding a little static-y in Christen’s ear. _ “Obsessed with you,” _ she mumbles into the phone as she lets Christen up, _ “Hurry on up so I can kiss you crazy.” _

The line is dead before Christen can even get a reply out, not that she’d have had anything to say at all other than an ‘okay’. 

She checks her hair and makeup in the reflection of the elevator walls on her way up, still trying to keep the dumb smile on her face somewhat contained, even if no one is around to see it. As soon as the elevator doors are opening, she’s out of them, making the turns down the halls towards Tobin’s apartment in a hurry. On her last turn of a corner, she’s met with Tobin’s body half out of her door, half of it in to keep the door propped open. She has a smile just as big as Christen’s adorning her face, gasping out little breathy laughs, her eyes crinkle at the corners as Christen nears quickly. 

“What the heck are you doing here?”

“Hello to you, too,” Christen deadpans with an affectionate eye roll on her last few steps.

Tobin pulls her into a kiss before even getting her own ‘hello’ out, hugging her waist tightly, pulling their bodies so close that Christen has to arch back a little to be able to kiss back. She kisses Christen silly just like she’d promised, pressing more than a few small, soft kisses to her lips in between the deep ones before pulling back with a dazed smile and finally saying, “Hi.”

Christen giggles, her eyes bright before she leans in for another short kiss. “Hi.”

“What the heck are you doing here?” Tobin repeats her earlier question, both of them laughing at her bewildered tone. 

“Just wanted to see you,” Christen smiles before grimacing slightly, “I hope that’s okay? Sorry I didn’t give you a heads up or check if you had plans. I wanted it to be a surprise.”

Tobin laughs quietly, kissing her soundly once more before pulling her by the hand into her apartment. “Yeah, actually I had a hot date tonight, but it’s fine. I can cancel.” She turns to catch Christen’s reaction, smirking when she sees the unamused look and threatening pout on the woman’s face. 

“Not funny,” Christen mumbles, letting Tobin drag her over to the couch after taking her coat off at the door and hanging it on Tobin’s rack along with her purse. 

“Oh, sorry? Are you jealous?” Tobin raises her eyebrows expectantly, her lips tugging upward.

“I come to surprise you and you just wanna be mean,” Christen groans as Tobin pulls her sideways into her lap on the couch. Holding her close with strong arms around her waist.

Tobin laughs against her cheek, giving the skin under her lips a long, soft kiss before saying. “Let me go tell my bed and movie queue that I’ll have to reschedule. Hopefully they take it well.” 

Christen chuckles, shoving Tobin’s shoulder lightly. “You’re such an ass.” She leans down to kiss Tobin tenderly after their laughs subdue, keeping one arm hooked around the back of her neck and the other hand up and cupping her jaw. 

“Missed you,” Tobin whispers onto her lips between kisses.

“You saw me last night,” Christen grings smugly, her eyes closing contentedly and mouth smiling tighter when Tobin pecks over her closed, curled lips.

“Yet you’re the one who’s here right now,” Tobin retorts, moving her mouth to place gentle kisses to Christen’s jaw. The latter sighs quietly, letting the hand that had been on Tobin’s jaw travel around her head to weave fingers gently into hair. 

“I don’t hear you compaining.” 

“Back at you, baby.”

Chills run along Christen’s neck and arms, her heart pounding at the even newer term of affection that Tobin has chosen. She pulls back from Tobin’s mouth on her jaw, scratching her fingers gently along her scalp as she smiles lazily down at the woman. 

“Dinner?” 

Tobin visibly pouts at Christen’s suggestion. “M’not hungry.” She surges forward for Christen’s lips again, ironically hungrily, being granted a short kiss before the woman is pulling back laughing. 

“You sure about that?”

Tobin chuckles in kind. “Just for kisses, maybe.”

Christen’s eyes may very well twinkle at how endearing Tobin’s shyness is. She allows her another few moments of kissing, not letting anything get too carried away before she pulls back, running a hand through Tobin’s hair and flipping it over to the opposite side of its part. She twists the ends of the strands of hair, allowing them both a moment to take each other in with their eyes. 

“Gorgeous girl,” Tobin whispers into the air between them, giving Christen a lopsided smile when their eyes meet. “I love your dress,” she says as she fiddles with the hem of the fabric. 

“Ever the charmer,” Christen grins, leaning forward to lean her forehead on Tobin’s. “Thank you.”

Tobin kisses her top lip ever so lightly, barely able to reach her without leaning forward. 

Christen pulls away still smiling, pushing back a stray strand of hair that had fallen in front of Tobin’s eyes. “You wanna go get some food and eat at Central Park?”

Tobin’s eyebrows raise slightly in shock. “Central Park?” 

Christen shrugs. “Figured there’s a Shake Shack practically across the street and a million benches, so why not?” 

Tobin chuckles, “Going full New Yorker, are we?”

Christen scrunches her nose. “I may also feel like a fake for not knowing even a fraction of the park by now, so maybe we can go to a new part this time?”

“You think I’m gonna take you back to the same places? Heck no.”

“Okay, good,” Christen laughs, “I trust you.”

Tobin smiles bright at her words, picking one of her hands up and kissing her knuckles before nudging her leg to let them both up from the couch. “You wanna change so you aren’t in a dress the whole time? I still have your clothes but I haven’t washed them yet… I mean, you can take whatever you want from my closet. It doesn’t have to be what you lent me. Actually, don’t wear something I’ve already worn, just take whatever you want. If you want,” she rambles.

Christen shuts her lips between her teeth to contain her giggles. She spins Tobin back around to her by the hand, cupping her cheek and giving her another long kiss. “One more, because you’re cute.”

“Am I not always?” Tobin jokes with a smirk, rubbing her thumb on the small of Christen’s back. 

“No,” Christen responds sassily as she scrunches her nose, shoving Tobin back a few steps until they’re on their way to Tobin’s room for clothes, “not when you’re like that.” 

///

She ended up choosing a soft crew neck and used her own pair of jeans, swearing to Tobin that she didn’t care because she would wash them at home anyway. They underestimated how much of Tobin’s closet she would actually have to raid, realizing that she would need socks and shoes too if she didn’t want to walk around in the heels she had worn to work. For the heck of it, Christen had swiped one of Tobin’s hats off of her shelf, putting it on her head loosely with a wide grin and a wink, kissing Tobin’s cheek in thanks before having walked past her.

Tobin couldn’t care less. Not now- not when Christen is sitting there, wearing her clothes and one of her favorite hats, digging into her fries like they’re the best thing she’s ever eaten as they sit on the rocks of Hernshead in Central Park just moments before the sun begins its descent below the skyline. In fact, it’s quite the opposite. She loves it all on Christen. The crewneck, the sneakers, the hat, the orange glow that makes her eyes sparkle and accentuates her freckles beneath her makeup-

“I love fries,” Christen moans through a half-stuffed mouth, eliciting a laugh from Tobin who’s been watching her intently as she eats.

“Yeah? I couldn’t tell,” she replies sarcastically.

Christen gives her a side eye, biting into yet another fry as she does.

“These aren’t even good fries, Chris. These are like… freezer fries.”

“Oh, trust me. As a California girl who lived with In-N-Outs all around her, I know. But fries are fries and I’ll eat them if you give them to me.”

Tobin chuckles at the passion in her voice. “Best kind of fry?”

“Ugh,” Christen groans, “That’s so evil… McDonalds.”

“McDonalds?” Tobin asks incredulously. “Really?”

“Guilty pleasure,” Christen nods, wiping her mouth with a napkin. “They’re just like… always so crispy and perfectly salted.”

“Touche,” Tobin nods in agreement. “What about curly fries?” 

“Any kind of fry, I’m there. I’d eat them for every meal of the day if I could.” 

“Sweet potato fries?”

“Love them,” Christen confirms.

“Truffle?”

Christen moans, throwing her head back a little. “The best.”

“Garlic?”

“Anything,” Christen laughs, slightly embarrassed by how much she’s giving away. 

“Good to know what I can bribe you with if I ever need to,” Tobin jokes with a wink.

Christen thinks she wouldn’t have to bribe her for anything because with a smile like her’s, she’d do practically anything Tobin asked.

“We all have our vices. I’ll find yours eventually,” she plays back jokingly.

“If that’s your worst then you must be an angel,” Tobin laughs as she shakes her head, collecting their trash and setting it off to the side.

Christen feels her cheeks blush and looks to the skyline for a distraction. “I love this,” she muses. Tobin hums in question, following her line of sight.

“The sunset?”

“Yeah. I mean, all of it, I guess. This feels like the closest to home I’ve ever experienced here.”

Tobin watches the side of her face closely, smiling a little unintentionally at the wonder in Christen’s gaze. “What do you mean?”

“The colors. When the sun sets in LA, everything turns gold. They don’t call it the golden state for nothing,” she jokes as she finally turns back to face Tobin, knowing that isn’t the real reason for the state nickname. “And this-” she gestures to the view before her with her hands, “the water, the buildings. It’s the closest to the gold I know. It’s like my sunset at home but instead of the ocean I have Central Park’s Lake.”

Tobin chuckles softly, taking one of Christen’s hands in her own and rubbing her thumb gently along her knuckles. “I love that,” she says earnestly. “Tell me more about home?”

Christen looks towards the lake once more, turning back to Tobin sheepishly, “Will you hold me while we watch the sunset and I’ll think of something to share?”

Tobin grins at her like a kid before scooting over for Christen to settle with her back against her own front. Her arms immediately go around Christen’s waist and her lips find the side of her head, kissing it sweetly three times before resting her cheek there. 

“Thank you,” Christen says quietly, letting herself melt into the warmth that swaddles her from behind.

Tobin makes a small content noise, squeezing her waist lightly before quietly responding, “I like you in my arms as much as you like being in them.”

Christen’s body tingles at the sincerity in Tobin’s voice. She appreciates that the woman kept a hold on her words from the night before, not teasing her for them or making light of them, but instead responding to them with her own candor. 

“Don’t like letting you go,” Tobin says a moment later, pulling Christen a little bit closer, nuzzling her face into Christen’s neck. Christen turns her head slightly to be able to find Tobin’s face with her own, letting her lips kiss the side of Tobin’s nose where they land first. They both giggle a bit at Christen’s lack of aim, but Tobin turns her face up enough to kiss her properly for a second. 

_ Don’t let me go. _ “Me either.”

The depth of their emotions goes unspoken, but they both know. They both feel it and they both see it in each others’ eyes. 

Tobin kisses her forehead once before they both face the water again, silent for a few minutes as the sun sets behind them and the buildings before them glow, reflecting on the water of the Lake.

“I lived by the beach… at home, I mean,” Christen starts. “I used to take my dogs out all the time. Morena and Khaleesi- those are their names.”

“Khaleesi, like Game of Thrones?” Tobin snorts a little.

“What else?” Christen replies in a light ‘duh’ tone, pinching the skin on Tobin’s wrist gently for laughing and teasing. “Anyway,” she draws out dramatically, “I would take them down to the cliffs practically every day. Sometimes my sisters or my mom or dad would come with, but I went alone with them most of the time. I think that was my favorite part of my days back home. I love the ocean so much. It’s just so _ big _and it makes me feel so small, but not in a bad way. It’s loud and huge and intimidating, but only if you let it be. I would sit there as the sun would set and just let myself be nothing. It was like I was practically nothing compared to whatever else was out there in the ocean, and I didn’t care because I used to feel like I had to be everything when I wasn’t there. But you let yourself feel the energy that the ocean sends you and you know you’re still something. You aren’t nothing.” Tobin draws circles into her hips with her thumbs, kissing her shoulder every now and then as she speaks. “The dogs were always so calm too. It was like they understood. We would just sit and watch the waves crash below us until the sun was gone and then go home and do it again the next day. I don’t think I realized how much I missed that until now. This city is my ocean from back home. It’s loud and huge and intimidating-”

“Only if you let it be,” Tobin finishes for her.

“Yeah,” Christen chuckles, “only if I let it be.”

Tobin smiles against her shoulder, pressing yet another kiss over the crew neck she lent Christen.

“But it feels a lot more quiet here. Kinda like I can be nothing here if I need to be.”

“But you’re still something,” Tobin says as if she needs to make sure Christen is aware of the fact.

And she is. At least there, in that moment, she is aware of it. In Tobin’s arms and warmth and strength, she’s something.

Christen finally nods in affirmation, turning her head to smile at Tobin and lean up for a kiss. Tobin accepts it graciously, kissing her back soundly in the soft, final glow from the sun of that day. 

“Wanna know something kinda funny?” Tobin asks, receiving a hum back from Christen as she shifts her body in Tobin’s arms to face her just a little bit more. “I felt the same way growing up, but about the stars and space.”

“Like you were nothing… but something?” Christen laughs at the contradiction of the sentence.

“Yeah,” Tobin nods, chuckling along a bit. “Kinda. I mean, we would do this thing with my dad when we were younger where we would camp out in the backyard during the summer… tents and s’mores and all. My siblings and I would all practically pick one of his limbs to lay our heads on and watch the stars while he taught us some of the constellations that he knew. I think he probably made some of it up for the sake of not talking about the same four constellations over and over again, but we believed him,” she grins to herself. “He would put us to bed in the tent and would leave the star roof thing open. I would pretend to sleep until I could hear his snores and then I would lay awake and watch the stars on my own from my sleeping bag-“

“Little rascal,” Christen whispers, scrunching her nose teasingly at Tobin before letting her continue.

“A little bit,” Tobin agrees with a nod and a small smile, “I just wanted to watch the stars and let my little mind just, like, run. I used to question whether aliens were real or not,” they both laugh quietly, “I would tell myself they weren’t because God didn’t create any aliens, but the thought of other life in space was always there. I think as I grew up I moved on from aliens and just wondered about _ anything _ that might be out there, you know? I kinda struggled with my faith for a short time questioning what God created and what He didn’t, and if He wasn’t the Creator of everything in space, who or what was?”

“What do you think now?” Christen asks softly, her breath barely tickling Tobin’s neck.

“What? Whether or not aliens are real?” Tobin jokes, “Oh, for sure.”

Christen giggles, “No, you dork. You know what I meant.”

Tobin smiles down at the woman in her arms, scanning her face quickly before continuing. “If I’m honest, I’m still not too sure, but I moved on from letting myself stress over it and just accepting that I could feel my God’s love and presence and that’s all that mattered.” Christen hums in understanding, not wanting to interrupt Tobin too much anymore, but wanting to let her know she’s still listening. “Anyway, once I had reached that point in school where I started learning about just how infinitely huge outer space is, I would just sit outside some nights and watch the stars and I kinda went through the same thing you did. It’s just so big up there, but the difference from the ocean is that it’s quiet. You can’t hear anything that’s happening up there, but you know it’s beyond you. And yet at the same time, even if you can’t hear anything in space, you hear everything down here and you realize that you’re just as important as you are not.” 

They sit in silence for a long moment, mutually understanding that, as they sit there, everything around them is so vastly greater than the two of them combined, but whatever they share and whatever they’re creating in their relationship feels so immensly powerful. 

Their eyes meet after their moment of pondering, causing them both to grin almost bashfully at how important the moment seems. 

“Thank you for surpising me today,” Tobin says quietly, leaning down enough to brush the tip of her nose on Christen’s.

“I just can’t stay away,” Christen replies in such a soft, tooth-achingly sweet tone, it doesn’t even sound as cheesy as it should. Tobin doesn’t even think before she leans down to take Christen’s lips in her own, moving one of her hands to cradle and hold the woman’s head steady below her.

The sunlight is mostly gone now and the lights of the concrete jungle begin to trickle in around them, giving them some indication that they should head out soon. 

“I don’t wanna go home,” Christen whines when Tobin pulls away, pouting enough to earn one more peck.

“I hate how early the sun sets this late in the year,” Tobin adds, “It makes me feel like my day is over but it’s actually not late at all.”

“Ugh, tell me about it.”

“Come over for a little bit before you go home? Or we can head out toward your place and get dessert or something and then I’ll drop you home.”

“Mmm,” Christen hums through her close-lipped grin. “How about… we get ice cream at the store on the way back to your place and I’ll stay for a while before I go home? I do need my purse and things,” she reasons with a smirk.

“Oh shoot,” Tobin laughs, having forgotten that Christen only brought her wallet and keys with her, “Thank the aliens for your smart brain. I don’t know where we’d be without it.” She kisses Christen’s forehead quickly for emphasis before standing and holding her hands out to pull Christen up too. They both collect their trash before Tobin is taking Christen’s free hand to hold. “To find ice cream we go!” She exclaims gleefully as if about to start an adventure.

“Ugh,” Christen fawns dramatically. “French fries and ice cream all in one day? Stop spoiling me!”

“Never!”

///

“Next time you can’t enable my weaknesses,” Christen points her spoon accusingly at Tobin as she speaks through a moutfull of cold ice cream.

Tobin laughs with her own spoon in her mouth as she takes her own bite. “Whatever. I’m not ready to face whatever happens if I tell you no, so _ excuse _ me for trying to please you.” 

Christen wiggles her eyebrows playfully as she digs into the carton for another scoop, laughing at the way Tobin rolls her eyes before the first part of Tobin’s statement catches up to her. “Hey! What do you mean ‘don’t want to face whatever happens if you tell me no’?”

Tobin’s eyes widen comically as she ignored eye-contact. “Nothing, babe.”

“Nuh uh,” Christen laughs, “don’t ‘babe’ me right now!”

“Nothing, _ honey _!”

The smirk threatening to perch itself on Tobin’s lips is enough for Christen to move the ice cream carton to the coffee table in front of them and wrestle Tobin down onto the couch cushions. 

“You think I’m gonna be a diva or something?” She laughs through her gasps for air as Tobin tries to wrestle her back. 

“No! I was just joking!” Tobin tries to defend, laughing uncontrollably as Christen digs a few slim fingers into her ribs. “I give! I give!” She exclaims as Christen’s knees settle on either side of her hips and her hands are pinned above her head. They both pant through their laughs, trying to catch their breath. That is until Christen surges down to kiss her hard, both of their lips still cold and sweet from the ice cream. Tobin is taken aback for a second, shocked by the sudden change in mood from Christen, but not for long before she softens and hums against Christen’s insistent mouth. 

“I should say things like that more often if this is what it gets me,” she quips, laughing when Christen clenches her wrist slightly. 

“Don’t even think about it,” Christen mutters, dipping down to kiss her again. 

“You taste like an oreo,” Tobin says between kisses.

“You talk too much,” Christen groans playfully as she lets her head fall into the side of Tobin’s neck, her breath tickling Tobin’s skin from how it blows her baby hairs around.

Tobin stilfes her laugh, bringing her fingers up to her mouth and miming zipping them shut. “I’ll be quiet now.”

Christen grins, shaking her head before pressing a kiss to her jaw and saying, “Moment’s gone. Sorry, babe.”

Tobin wants to protest, but instead she beams at the pet name Christen used so nonchalantly. 

Christen settles herself into the space between Tobin’s body and the back of the couch, resting her head on Tobin’s shoulder and a hand on her chest, drawing obscure shapes onto the fabric of Tobin’s sweater below her with her index and middle fingers. Tobin turns to kiss Christen’s forehead as she scoots further down the couch, letting her lips linger for a few sconds before pulling Christen closer into her side.

“The ice cream is gonna melt,” Tobin whispers like it's a secret.

“Good,” Christen whispers back, “Then I won’t eat it.”

They share a laugh, dismissing the small carton of cookies and cream ice cream that sits on Tobin’s coffee table, the little that’s left of it melting away in the warmth of the apartment..

“Tell me more about home?” Christen asks quietly after a moment, her fingers having moved to dance along Tobin’s collarbone now. 

Tobin hums, running her hand along Christen’s arm. “What do you wanna know?”

Christen shrugs slightly, her voice small when she says, “Whatever you wanna tell me. I liked your story earlier.”

There’s a short moment of quietness as Tobin thinks of something to share, their hands continuing their innocent movements on each others’ bodies. 

“I have three nephews and a niece,” Tobin starts, the smile that Christen can’t see on her face instead heard in her voice. “I’m actually gonna go see them on Saturday. My parents are going out of town for the weekend and don’t wanna leave the house alone. Or so they say. I think they just want us kids to hang out together,” she chuckles. “I’m only going on up Saturday but my brother is gonna stay the weekend there to take care of the house since he lives closest. Anyway, two of the boys are my sister Katie’s and then then the last boy and the girl are my sister Perry’s. And then there’s my younger brother Jeff, but he and I are chilling for now on the whole starting a family thing,” she jokes, hearing a small giggle from Christen. “They call me Aunt To-To.” Christen lets out a quiet ‘awww’ at the name and the content in Tobin’s voice as she speaks. “I love kids. They’re like my weakness. I’m kind of known and made fun of for stopping to play with random kids because I can’t help myself. But my niece and nephews are just a whole different kind of love, you know? It’s like, I know they’re not my own but the amount of love I have for them makes me excited to have my own someday because I can’t even imagine what I would be like then.”

Christen’s heart swells at the thought of Tobin with children, much less her own children. She has to stop from getting too far ahead of herself in her imagination. 

“Sorry, I know that’s probably too serious of a conversation for us right now,” Tobin laughs nervously. 

“Don’t apologize,” Christen says softly, tilting her head up to look Tobin in the eye as best she can. She places a soft, quick kiss to the underside of the woman’s jaw. “I mean, yeah, too soon,” she chuckles, “but you don’t have to apologize for telling me that.” 

“Okay,” Tobin whispers through her small smile, not knowing what else there is to say. “What are your plans this weekend?”

“Probably just hanging out. I think Ali will probably be spending the majority of her weekend with Ash so it’ll just be me and my bed,” she feigns a dramatic sigh. 

Tobin chuckles at the grin that Christen sports after ditching her act, rolling her eyes slightly before turning sheepish again. “You can, uh, totally feel free to say no but you’re welcome to come with me to Jersey on Saturday?” She phrases it like a question, more unsure of what she’s asking than what Christen’s response will be. “I know that’s like ‘meeting the family’ or whatever but my parents won’t be there and my siblings wouldn’t be, like, weird or anything.”

“Oh, Tobs. That’s okay. Your parents want you guys to spend time together, I wouldn’t want to intrud-”

“You wouldn’t be!” Tobin says a little too fast, her cheeks blushing as she realizes it. “I mean, if you really wanted me to, I could ask to make sure they’d be okay with it, but I’m sure they’d bug me more about making sure you came if I did that,” she chuckles. “You really don’t have to if you don’t want to, I just figured if you don’t have plans, it’d be nice to hang out with you,” she shrugs, avoiding Christen’s eyes. 

Christen leans up, resting her weight onto her elbow and forearm beneath her. The movement effectively catches Tobin’s attention, allowing Christen to search her eyes for a moment. “You’re sure? You don’t have to invite me because I’m gonna be alone this weekend.” 

“No, that’s not-” Tobin shakes her head adamantly, “Chris, if you really don’t want to, you don’t have to. I promise I won’t be upset. I just figured it’d be nice to spend more time with you. It wasn’t a pity invite or something.” 

Christen lets out a quiet sigh through her nose, considering the proposal as Tobin watches her nervously and carefully, ready to take back the offer in fear that it was too forward. 

“You’ll ask them to make sure they won’t mind?” She asks after a few moments, looking to Tobin with wary eyes.

The woman below her grins uncontrollably, gently squeezing her hip where her hand lays. “They won’t, but I’ll ask anyway.”

“And you promise you didn’t just bring it up because I said I was spending the weekend alone?”

“Promise.” She sticks her pinky up into the air between them.

Christen glances to it and then back to her quickly, a smile taking its rightful place on her face. “You know how to make a proper pinky promise, right?” 

“You hook your fingers and say ‘I promise’?” Tobin laughs, her eyebrows knitting in confusion because the answer seemed obvious. 

“No,” Christen shakes her head, bringing her own hand up to hook her prinky around Tobin’s. “You hook your pinkies… then you kiss your thumb,” she moves her lips to her finger, Tobin following her instructions, “and then you attach your thumbs together,” the pads of their thumbs meet at the top point of their conjoined hands, both of them grinning like fools as they move to lace their fingers together. Tobin uses her free hand to push some hair out of Christen’s face before pulling her in for a kiss by her chin. They let go of each other’s hands in favor of holding each other’s necks and cheeks, smiling through the kisses they share as Christen’s weight slowly falls heavier onto Tobin’s body.

“The kids aren’t gonna wanna share you,” Tobin jokes, “Maybe I shouldn’t take you.”

“Don’t get too ahead of yourself, now,” Christen replies with a raised eyebrow. “You still haven’t asked your siblings.”

Tobin can only smile wider. “They’re gonna love you.”

Christen has to tell herself she’s not crazy, but she’s well aware of the fact that she’s in deep already and she’s finding herself less and less bothered by the fact every time Tobin kisses her silly.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> let me know ur thoughts, feelings, questions, etc etc etc ! I love to read your comments and can't thank yall enough for the motivation to keep writing that I get from reading them.

**Author's Note:**

> lmk how y'all like this! I have the entire story outlined already (and no, I will not abandon my other stories for this). also, pls be patient with me on updates:( im a busy girl with loads of writing to do for college and I write for y'all when I can but sometimes a girl needs some rest and free time.


End file.
